I lived in Reading for 10 years and now live in Basingstoke - both of the places have good / bad vibes, but I certainly feel safer in Basingstoke than I did / do in Reading. However - appreciate people are different and won't go on a massive tangent about why Basingstoke is OK 
Reading is more diverse than Basingstoke in my opinion - I'd actually put it on a par with Southampton. There's a lot of Polish shops in all 3 places, but Reading has an amazing oriental supermarket and Reading West has a lot of really interesting shops from other cultures. It's also where I go to get my hair done as despite having 2 white parents, I have afro-Caribbean hair so I go to a salon in Reading to get it conditioned and relaxed every 3months.
In terms of commuting - it's mostly platform 5 and the train takes 25 minutes and is twice an hour... if it's running, it's fine, if it's not running, it's a problem. I used to live in Reading and commute to Basingstoke and it depends where in Basingstoke you're working.... I used to drive down the A33 - absolutely fine in the mornings so long as the road isn't blocked or there's an issue. I could do Lower Earley to very close to Basingstoke station in 30 minutes easily..
Reading housing seems more expensive than Basingstoke - however Basingstoke prices have also risen crazily over the last few years... We bought our 5 bed for £465K in 2015 and it's not valued at £596K (average price on Zoopla so take it with a pinch of salt but things seem to be sold within days round here)
If you're looking at living in Southampton and commuting to Basingstoke you'll have the M3 to deal with which can be painful in the mornings as so much traffic is commuting towards London - same on the trains, but if you get on at Southampton or Southampton Airport and get off at Basingstoke you should always get a seat, depending on what time you travel.
I get on the trains at Basingstoke to go to Waterloo and the ones coming up from the South are typically 50-60% full at the moment at about 6.30am-7.00am