In a bit of a pickle - SW/ Surrey issue re house and schools!

[Namechange466]

Sorry for the long message but am really confused.

We have found what is possibly our dream family house (at least possibly the best we can afford) - lovely lovely downstairs with kitchen diner, huge garden, four beds. It’s near Worcester Park/ Stoneleigh for anyone who knows it.

Love the house. Unsure about the area itself - only because it’s about 15/20 walk to both stations and we then need to commute into London.

Also we are looking to send our child to one of the prep schools in Surbiton /New Malden - and when she is older maybe try for Tiffin Girls School in Kingston (I somehow managed to get in so maybe she can).

But for the time being our daughter is 2.5 and would continue going to her nursery in surbiton.

This house is literally 2 miles away from surbiton - ten mins drive without traffic. I’m not the most confident driver but can get there or get a bus or even private taxi service with her if needed. Husband can drive.

BUT it can take up to 25 mins to drive to the school if there is traffic as you need to drive down Kingston road through the Tolworth junction - and then once at Surbiton from there we need to park and get train to waterloo. With hybrid working this will be 2/3 times a week shared between us.

My dilemma is I want the house but do want her to go to one of these schools - and it sounds like a lot more trouble than at present - we have a ten minute walk.

Unfortunately there is no school bus service from those schools to this house. We could get a school coach when she is 7 to LEH (if she gets in) or Sutton High though - and possibly others though I’m not aware of any.

My husband thinks most working families need to drive children to schools and just make it work - and can’t see the fuss.

It honestly sounds like a lot of work for me. I work in the city and work hard - I will need to do pick up but it is just what it is I suppose - but does sound tough.

Am I overthinking this? Or will it be too difficult? Perhaps I’m being too fixated on SHS and other preps in that area for no reason and I should just consider Sutton.

views welcome form anyone who knows about the area.

Also to add - we have a good budget - £900k- 1m. But honestly we can’t seem to find even a decently large house in the areas serviced by the school coaches (Surbiton High has coaches to Esher, Hinchley Wood, and New Malden) for example. All such houses require lots of work or at just teeny - or are by the railway line or by the A3.

We aren’t looking for a mansion but are struggling. This house ticks all boxes for us - and then some.

But is this house worth the stress? Is location actually much more important?

I am not sure how long would the drive to Sutton High be in the morning but the A240 used to be very bad both ways when I was commuting by car.
Have you considered Sutton Borough at all? You would need to change nursery but you'll get Grammar and Sutton High schools nearby.

Don't get sucked into doing all the pick ups and drop offs... share this with your partner. He might say all families have to do this... does he think.. all mothers have to do this? (Sorry, no advice on the area, just picked up on the fact that you said you would need to do pick ups)

I know the area and it’s good for housing but awful for traffic.

I think you might be overthinking it. You could buy a house right next to LEH and she might not get in - and then you'd be miles from a station! It is always tricky to triangulate. If you're choosing independent rather than the state school round the corner then you'll have a school journey of some sort, and the one you describe doesn't sound too bad, especially if you only have to be in town a few times a week. This age and stage just is very hard work for a few years I'm afraid, but from Y7 they get themselves to and from school. We had au pairs for a few years when DH and I were both commuting and working full time, more or less entirely due to school and nursery pick up and drop offs. We chose state primary to 11 and then grammar or independent for ours, but even then the nursery and primary years were very hard work.

Some of the state primaries in that area are fantastic so maybe you could save yourself a lot of stress. Also you are likely in catchment for both Nonsuch and possibly Wallington Grammar schools for girls which are also highly coveted but being in catchment will make it a bit easier to get into than an out of catchment place at Tiffin. One of my DDs has just been through this process. She has chosen Nonsuch as her first choice over Tiffin for a number of reasons including curriculum options and feel of the school. Good luck with it al.

I think you are trying to plan too far into the future. Your DD is only 2.5. You cannot possibly know which schools would suit her best at each stage, let alone whether she would be academically capable of passing exams to get into the highly competitive schools you are thinking about!

I know the area well and the traffic can be a nightmare. But most people know this and just have earlier starts in the morning. Personally I would go for the dream house every time, you have no guarantees at 2.5 that your DD will suit the academic path you're planning on. But if you really have your heart set on it then perhaps worth waiting for a house in a better location to come up.

I think at age 2.5 senior schools are a long way off and you have no idea where might suit.

Pick a good local prep with an easy journey and local friends.

If necessary you can move again at senior school stage, it’s 9 years away.

Yes the traffic can be full on at peak times but to be honest you will have the same problem with traffic anywhere around SW London and all the surrounding areas. Same for any areas surrounding London boroughs.

Things can change. Ie more schools open to you, more school buses, shared school run with other parents etc. If you love the house that’s the main thing. Everything else will fall into place.