How should we arrange toddler sleeping new house?

[JustMakingBananaPancakes]

Ok, we're about to complete on a new house. yay! But I don't know what to do. Can you help?

Our toddler bedshares with us. Always has done. She's very attached and needs to be close.

We're hoping this new house is a chance to make a big splash about her being in her own room. But here's the issue - the 3-bed house is a bungalow with a big master ensuite loft conversion upstairs, and two bedrooms downstairs.

We have planning permission to add more dormers to the loft conversion and divide the master into two rooms. Big one for us, little one for toddler.

Here's the issue - we can move in on 15 December, but the builder can't do the dormers until February. It will likely be March by the time it's done.

So do we:

• Bedshare in our new place until the toddler's upstairs room is done
• Make a splash with the downstairs bedroom, then move it all upstairs when it's done
• Get a temporary room divider in the master bedroom and decorate her side, knowing she'll have to move out of it while the building work is done

Any other ideas? I want to make the adjustment to a new house as exciting and comfortable as possible. I worry it will be too confusing to chop and change.

But the master has an amazing view of the woods, which is half the reason we're buying this house. I want to be close to toddler in her own bed while still enjoying the view.

Or am I overthinking this entirely and the toddler will adjust to a room change after a few weeks just fine?

THANK YOU!

Both sleep downstairs until the new dormer rooms are ready?

@LampLass

Both sleep downstairs until the new dormer rooms are ready?

Surely this is the obvious solution. All mine into the downstairs rooms for a bit then all move upstairs together.

All sleep in one of the downstairs rooms together til the rooms upstairs are sorted, then into her new room from there.

It may be worth putting a toddler bed up against your own bed in the temporary room so that she at least gets used to a separate sleeping space but close by.

I actually wouldn't use the move as the time to stop bed sharing. You are already uprooting her world and to add more on top would, in my opinion, be tough for her.

My kids were 11, 9 and 7 when we moved. They all got their own rooms, but the 9 and 7 year old still slept in the same room for a quite a while. There were bunk beds from the old house so no issue for me. Eventually the 9 year old transitioned to her new room for sleeping. Now - she never goes in her brothers room to sleep.

Once the building work is complete then you can giver her a nice new bedroom and make it special. She may or may not sleep in there to start with.....but soon she will.

Keep together in the master until you have the room done. Moving house and sleeping on a different floor will be huge for you both.

Moving and stopping bed sharing = a recipe for disaster IMO. One thing at a time. All sleep downstairs and introduce her to the idea of her own room / bed.

We moved with a toddler who liked his own bed space and suddenly found going to bed a big deal.

Conversely, I now have a Velcro child who has their own lovely room and is a very capable seven, who refuses to stop sharing our bed.

Just stick with bed sharing until the new rooms are ready. It'll help your toddler with the transition.

Thanks for everyone's responses. It's a great point about not changing too much, too quickly. I agree keeping her in our bed for now until we get her room sorted upstairs is a smart go.

I never know if I'm just overthinking things 😂 First and only child...

On a practical level, I would just carry on bed sharing and think about rooms once you have settled in. It’s probably hard to imagine the future, but at 7 or 12, you likely won’t have the same need for a room close to yours as you do now. I wouldn’t be dividing up rooms permanently based on your current arrangements.

Could you all sleep on the first floor and then move her into bedroom and then you move into the master loft room when you’re ready and you don’t need to be as close all night?

I agree full new room would be too much but I would at least put her a bed in your room so she starts to get used to it.

No point going to too much effort with renovation pending but start reading her bedtime story in her corner and getting her settled in her bed, even if she won't stay there all night.

If you can fit a toddler bed and small chair you can read or sit while she settles down. Assuming it has sloping ceiling then she might like the cosy corner with a few of her toys.

You lose nothing by trying and you are right there if she doesn't respond well

I’d bedshare downstairs until the renovation is done. I wouldn’t want to bedshare upstairs as I wouldnt want her having an association with sharing in that room IYSWIM. Also it’ll make life easier for the renovation if you haven’t moved in up there. That way it’s 2 steps, new house, then new room. And you can show her how nearby you are by moving upstairs too - just one wall away!

Yes to bed-sharing while the work is done. Make your master bedroom as similar to your current one as possible. How old is your toddler?
It's exciting as later you can make a big deal of how their bedroom is getting ready... choosing a toddler bed.. lovely sheets etc.

We have a similar situation but different set up. Moving house, moving nurseries, moving everything and just found out that the room that I wanted to put toddler in has a damp patch so we have to wait till the roof is fixed to move her there. So she will move several times...(between rooms). I'm terrified....

Hope it goes well as she's quite all right with change and adjusts pretty quickly. It's me who doesnt

Do whatever is most practical for you in the moment. Children change so much at this age that an intractable problem one month is totally resolved the next.

When we moved we had a resurgence of wanting to sleep in our bed from both children (4yo twins in separate bedrooms). They hadn’t coslept for a year, but now it is every evening for one, and maybe half of the time for the other. Trying to keep them in their beds was stressful for everyone- we all get a better nights sleep this way than fighting it.

Not too stressed as not aware of any teenagers that cosleep - it will sort itself out eventually.

These are all great points. I've been really struggling with some MH issues lately, and I'm worried about doing anything to mess it up further - or cause the DD distress. You're right that things do change so quickly with them. Last week she loved Paw Patrol, now she hates it...