How do you feel after buying your first house?

[ToExtendOrNotToExtend]

As a first time buyer, I had always imagined owning a house to be something exciting and enjoyable, however I feel the opposite after I bought.

The buying process was very stressful because numerous of problems were found in the survey and the seller didn't want to reduce the price, instead they wanted more and pulled out to resell and of course failed to find another buyer...

Then I discovered more and more problems after completion. With all of the findings, the most sensible thing to do is to extend now and do a full renovation, which puts me in a much bigger debt than what I would feel comfortable with. Must admit, that's me lacking of experience and underestimating the cost of repair.

I did my research before buying in this area, ie crime rate, demographic, local Facebook groups, etc and I was very happy find this "nice" and affordable area. However, in less than 6 months, on the same street, two cars have been stolen and one house was broke into. I met a few nice people in the neighbourhood but also have to deal with a couple of very rude ones.
As a pleaser, I had always built good relationships with people, now I am running out of energy or patience to cope with the rudeness.

Overall, this is probably the hardest year I have had. There seems to be endless of stress since house hunting and I keep telling myself, once my offer is accepted it will be better, once the purchase is completed it will be better, once the building work is done, it will be better...
I am certainly not feeling better at all.

Has anyone else experienced the same or similar? Any tips on how to get through this?

Regarding the rude people. I live in a friendly street - most neighbours say hello, some stop to chat. However there are a couple of dare I say it miserable bastards. No matter how many times I say "Good Morning!" in a cheery voice, they look at me like they just stepped in shit.
Nothing you can do about people like this. I've found that the best thing is to rise above it "GOOD MORNING!" I shout in my best teacher voice, and keep walking!
I have no idea why they don't speak to me, but I give it absolutely no headspace!
Good luck

Sorry to hear that reality has not lived up to your expectations. It's so hard to buy a house now, so expensive and often so much competition, I totally understand where you are coming from. But i felt similar to you especially re the renovation. Honestly you don't need to do a full renovation at once. Take your time and do it room by room. Try not to get into debt for it.

I am trying to do min building/renovation work if possible. But anything in the house is about 35+years old and anything that can possibly leak do leak, from windows to bath. It was hidden by multiple thick layers of wallpapers and carefully placed towels during viewing...

We had to re-wire because there was no earth. I was so naive to believe the real estate agent who said a electricity check was done and the result was satisfactory.

First time buyers, don't buy an old house if you don't have tradespeople in your family and be careful of what the agent says.

There are rude people on almost every street in the UK - don't worry about them. Similarly, there is crime everywhere. I live in a naice village in a beautiful national park, and we still get the odd car theft.

Buyer's remorse is a really common thing, as it takes a while to really feel like somewhere is your home. Just acknowledge it, and channel your efforts into making this house a home.

Does it actually need extending? Or can you make other (cheaper) changes that will make it work for you?

Re: the electricity - did you get a survey? What issues did that flag up?

I was so naive to believe the real estate agent...

Think of it as a life lesson learned - we've all made mistakes like this at some point. Estate agents are salespeople, and they work for the seller not the buyer. They're not your side.

We bought something similar. Full rewire - it is so destructive but it'll be worth it as you'll know it's all safe and can choose positions of all fittings and switches.

Sorry to hear about your situation, for me buying was was daunting, the worries about paying the mortgage, luckily didn't need much work just a lick of paint. But after 6 months well worth it and nice to be able to do anything to it unlike some of the awful rented places I was in.

We are nearly two years in after buying our home and things are starting to feel better. We have done most of the urgent jobs that needed doing and can now live ok in the house for a few years before having to do anything else which gives us a chance to save. As we are near the end of our 2 year fixed rate we have just fixed our mortgage for 5 years at a lower rate than what we started with as our house has gone up in value. Also as we have paid off some capital our mortgage monthly payment is now lower! A nice benefit that I hadn't considered before! So definitely worth being a home owner and seeing your mortgage go down and down rather than up and up like rent does.

Thanks for the positivity.

I brought a house 2 years ago it was very stressful. Buying is stressful. My savings gone and I spent 2 years renovating to get it to the standard of my previous rental. Fortunately I learned to plumb and did the electrics myself (a qualified electrician then did a consumer unit change and retested). I completely sympathize but it does get better. I now have a home mortgage free that is to my standards and I learned new skills so I can fix issues as they go wrong and there is some personal pride too. And lots of lessons learned.

Did you get a survey? Did your solicitor see the certificates? 35 isn't old. 125 is (the age of my house).
Be that as it may, every neighbourhood has nice and not so nice people living there. And any place can be burgled. My own car, which I left unlocked, was gone through (poor buggers only found empty water bottles and receipts), and I live in a neighbourhood of £900k plus homes.
Give it time. See a renovation as an opportunity to wipe out the old and out your own personality in. It may take time, but you will get there.,

Nicer areas do often get crime because more people have nicer stuff to steal, you have to take that into account. Thee was a break in on our street here not long after we moved in. It might have been possible to get spooked by it, but I decided I wouldn't be, as the circumstances would make it unlikley it would happen to us.

It's rough that you got stuck needing a rewire for something that ought not to have been like that in any wiring done after the late 80s. Another time, I'm sure you'll get an electrician in to check, but it's easy to be wise after the event, and it's lousy the EA took advantage of your innocence this time. Try not to blame the house for the crappy behavior of people who are now out of your life- the house is yours for the future, make it your friend.

It will take time to settle in after all that, but there are some upsides- if you have to do work on it, at least you will be able to do it the way you want it, and you will have learned a lot. I hope that as you get on top of some of the jobs and complete a room or two you will start to feel like it's now yours. Once we got to the point in this (doer-upper) that I got rid of some of the the decor I liked least I felt like I'd erased the atmosphere of the previous occupants and the house started to feel more like ours. Another poster on another thread mentioned putting up your own pictures as something that helped. Like an animal marking it's territory!

Did you buy on your own, OP? It's hard when you've not got someone to share the stress with.

@maofteens

Did you get a survey? Did your solicitor see the certificates? 35 isn't old. 125 is (the age of my house). Be that as it may, every neighbourhood has nice and not so nice people living there. And any place can be burgled. My own car, which I left unlocked, was gone through (poor buggers only found empty water bottles and receipts), and I live in a neighbourhood of £900k plus homes. Give it time. See a renovation as an opportunity to wipe out the old and out your own personality in. It may take time, but you will get there.,

The house is 100 years old, 35+ is the age of everything in it, kitchen, plumbing, carpet, windows, it wasn't maintained. Another lesson I have learned is that I should either buy a house in a good condition or buy a cheap shell. A house with no central heating is normally sold cheaper than one with a retiring boiler and 35 years old radiators, but the work I have to do is the same. When I say rude people, I meant they scream/shout, no manners at all.

Yeah I bought a similar age house . Ancient boiler, wiring etc. Although it was maintained , but in a very frugal way (no replacements for decades). The thing is that nobody wanted it for that reason. So we could get it a bit cheaper (and had a chance at getting it at all). In this area there is so much competition that we were outbid on 7 properties first. At the end of the day I'm very grateful for the security of owning my own home as felt so unstable as a renter.