How long until it feels like home?

[Moonlitdoor]

We've been in 5 weeks and kitchen and lounge are pretty much as we are having them. Our bedroom needs work. Kids rooms pretty much there, just need new carpets. It still doesn't feel like home. I don't regret moving and don't want to be back in my old house. I am sad that the front garden at my old house has already been paved over though. It had some beautiful established trees and shrubs. The new house has the potential to have a great garden but it's currently a mess. We have lots to do in the house in terms of fixing it where as the last house was very much finished. I just want it to feel like home. How long did it take for it to feel like home?

Ah I’m sorry OP, I felt like this in our house when we moved a couple of years ago too, to the point where I considered putting it up for sale again. I didn’t feel like I knew it so it didn’t feel like home. Everyone said give it a year and I’m very glad I did as I love it here now and think a huge part of that is making memories in it. You have Christmas decorating to look forward to, in the meantime could you do anything in it to have any happy memories?

It’s always harder when work needs doing too, we gutted this house when we moved in and the stress was unlike anything I’d ever known. Cut yourself some slack, it will come in time, I promise.

For the first year I felt like I was living in someone else's house but then suddenly I realised it felt like home

emotionally all the places I lived in with DH felt like home straightaway, probably because we came home to each other.

practically it's when you get up in the middle of the night and you can find your way to the loo or kids' room in the dark on muscle memory🤣

@GoBrookeYourself I think it might be knowing the house that's the issue. Simple things like I can't do all the light switches without thinking - they've been put in without any logic. The memories too - it's been a stressful few weeks so we haven't done much towards making memories.

It definitely feels like I'm living in someone else's home. The work we need to do is a bit overwhelming but then if it had been perfect we'd never have been able to buy it. I'll give it time.

Definitely takes some time to settle and recover from the ridiculously stressful moving process. We moved in Feb, a big downsize for us, now we have started to decorate we feel it’s now our home, and we aren’t living in someone’s else’s house. It takes time, we don’t think about our old house at all and we lived there for nearly 18 years, our children can only remember that house as their home. But due to my disability we had to move. No regrets, we are all happy in our new home that is much more suitable for my needs. You will get there too OP.

Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes it takes a long time. If the house needs work, putting the work in may help as you are making it yours.
We're just getting to the point where it feels sort of like home, and we've been here two years (it needed/needs a lot of work and we had problems buying it that were not fun). For the first time, a few weeks ago, when we turned into our road I got a twinge of 'nearly home now'. But only that once so far.

Same op. Have you got pictures up on the walls? For me that makes a big difference.

I’ve been in my house for a year (project house so it’ll be a while before everything is where it should be) and it doesn’t 100% feel like home. Still living out of boxes in a way.

First house took about a year (moved out from “home”), second house about 3 months

@tickledtiger

Same op. Have you got pictures up on the walls? For me that makes a big difference.

I’ve been in my house for a year (project house so it’ll be a while before everything is where it should be) and it doesn’t 100% feel like home. Still living out of boxes in a way.

You're right, pictures on the walls does help, I hadn't thought of it, but you are definitely right there.

For me, arranging my books and workspace is a bit I enjoy and that helps when it's done. I guess for other people it's arranging favourite ornaments, or whatever. I think it's worth doing some of this stuff even if you know you'll have to pack some of it up again later for renovations. At least it feels more homey with them out, while you settle in.

I'm currently cleaning my workroom after the very last major disruptive jobs on it, and once I've done the last coat on the woodwork, put up one last shelf, and touched up filled holes on the walls, it will be finally done, and be a real relief, I'll have my nest back permanently. Meanwhile, some books elsewhere are back in crates for other work to be done....

Throw time/energy at the garden - sounds important to you.

I think as soon as you have put your personal stamp on it whether that be a colour scheme, pictures, a new kitchen or re-modelling the garden.

As for feeling sad about what the new people are doing in your old house, I am afraid you have no control over that so try to put it out of your mind (easier said than done).

I agree with previous posters and have also found for me that smell is important! One day you just come through the door and it smells 'right'.

I’ve been in for a couple of months now and just about feeling settled. I can move around in the dark and the smell has finally disappeared. It didn’t smell bad, just smelt different. There’s still a few rooms that aren’t right but I don’t spend too long in them. Sounds odd but we decorated our new lounge almost the same as our old one and that helped loads x

I totally get this OP. We moved 4 months ago and I just dont have the same feeling yet about this house as I did our old one.

We had an extremely stressful move, topped off by the old owners of this house leaving it in an absolute state! I feel like this really affected my feelings towards this place - its like nothing will ever feel truly 'clean' until I've fully redecorated. So its probably going to be a while till I get that warm 'home' feel about the place.

Know the feeling, OP. We've been in this house for three months, and I'm starting to feel more comfortable, but it's still not 'mine'. There is SO much to do - we naively didn't think we'd bought a project but it appears we have...

However, we had half the vile kitchen ripped out yesterday and that made me feel better, knackered plaster, bad wiring and all, because I could finally start to see past the previous owners' 'interesting' decor choices and visualise how I would like it to look.

I agree that putting up pictures etc is important. The painters are coming in a couple of weeks so I ummed and aahed about putting up pictures when they'd just have to come down again, but it does make a difference. Candles definitely help too, they make it smell like 'my house'.

I reckon it will be a year at least before it really feels like 'home'.

I've been in this house for nearly 5 years and it's still not home. It's a place I live in and that's it. On paper it has everything we need a bit more but the noisy neighbours mean it rarely feels relaxing. We are planning to move.

I found getting my pictures up was the thing that made my bee place feel like home. I still have some photos to do.