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Original poster

I hate owning a house

47 replies

MagicWorkout · 26/10/2021 21:49

And being responsible for everything.

There's just me since DH died and I find the whole thing very stressful when anything goes wrong. In theory, I have enough money to get help in (so luckier than many) but it's so hard to find people who want the work and reliably turn up!

Currently I have a small unidentified fault with the heating (it works but not properly) but I haven't been able to find anyone interested in finding out what it is.

The front of the house needs painting and no doubt I will eventually find someone but it's such hard work. I'm terrified of something big going wrong.

I'm seriously tempted to look at renting but it worries me how you cope with renting and annual rent increases in retirement.

OP posts:
DogCatRabbit · 26/10/2021 22:06

Sorry to hear about your DH. I do have a DH but he's not at all handy and not really interested in doing or arranging maintenance.
Yes, the maintenance can be very stressful, I agree, especially if something major goes wrong. But at least we're not constantly worrying about having our homes sold from underneath us!

Original poster
MagicWorkout · 26/10/2021 22:14

Dh wasn't handy either and most of the organising fell to me, but it wasn't the same as being completely on your own with it.

OP posts:
WhatDidISayAlan · 26/10/2021 22:23

I hate it too in some ways, you’re not alone! I inherited a wreck when my dad died as I had to buy out a sibling, (my dad bought it after my mum died). I’m lucky that it got me onto the housing ladder, although I would much rather have not lost my parents so young. It’s just so hard to do on one salary - my oven died at the weekend so that’s my Christmas money gone on a new one. It will take me years to save up for new windows and a front door and I’m so scared of getting ripped off with dodgy salesmen. There’s always something to do or save up for, and I’ve forgotten what it feels like to spend my money on me.

LittleOverWhelmed · 26/10/2021 23:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 27/10/2021 00:19

I am a renter and so absolutely thankful that I don't have any responsibility for my property. Sorry for ur loss op

Bouledeneige · 27/10/2021 00:28

I'm sorry for your loss. Try local Facebook for recommendations.

Unreasonabubble · 27/10/2021 00:29

Hey don't rent. Use British Gas for your boiler. Yes it costs, but it gives you peace of mind.

Put adverts in your local corner shop - Gardeners will be there!!! Handymen who can paint too.

Do not give up. You just need more time to adust.

womaninatightspot · 27/10/2021 00:30

I'd possibly sign up to one of the boiler care schemes and user that to try and get it repaired. There is an endless list of stuff though, I hate all the outdoors stuff gardening, weeding etc.

Beefmeupscotty · 27/10/2021 00:32

Grass is always greener.

You could rent and still have all those issues...but a crap landlord who doesn't do anything to fix them because they don't effect the habitability of the house so nothing you can do!

Aquamarine1029 · 27/10/2021 00:34

Can you do the painting yourself?

geesearego · 27/10/2021 00:42

When my MIL had enough of house maintenance she sold her family home and bought a new build flat.
She finds it much less stressful

LuluJakey1 · 27/10/2021 00:48

British Gas Homecare for your boiler. I think they are excellent.

You'll get used to the responsibility. A house is such security - much more so than renting. Many landlords and housing associations are dreadful.

Sorry your husband died but please keep your house.

Spudina · 27/10/2021 00:55

Sorry for your loss OP. But honestly, having been at the mercy of a really unscrupulous landlord, renting is infinitely worse. I nurse a patient who had to move three times whilst having life saving treatment as the land lords kept selling from under her. You are doing well.

mumulala · 27/10/2021 01:01

I hear you. I really appreciate my house but when things go wrong (and there always seems to be a run of them!) it feels so overwhelming. I hate dealing with tradespeople so I've got a bit handy with the DIY which I hate a little less.

Sorry for the loss of your husband, that must have been a lot to deal with and even if he wasn't handy it was someone to panic with while water pumps uncontrollably from the dishwasher onto the kitchen floor (or is it just mine that does that?).

My H was a great handyman but left and every time I have to deal with some annoying house problem by myself the annoyance is compounded by the resentment I feel that he left me to cope with all this. Could it also be a painful reminder for you of your great loss?

I hope things get a bit better for you, maybe you'll get lucky and find a reliable handyman and you can relax a little knowing you've got support you can call on. In the meantime if you're comfortable financially definitely "de risk" and set up the British Gas contracts etc and also think about downsizing to a lower maintenance home. I wouldn't rent, you'll have even less control.

I hope you find a way to love your home again, it sounds like you need your sanctuary

Lockdownbear · 27/10/2021 01:05

Op I get where you are coming from but renting or having a new build isn't the answer.

Rent your at the mercy of someone else, new build is only kicking the can down the road. Painting still needs doing and silly things need fixing plus the hassle of snagging and nail pops as the building settles.

I do think taking out the British Gas maintenance contract could help, they'll service and fix it for you.

Rno3gfr · 27/10/2021 01:21

Dp used to work for British Gas and said that the Homecare Plan was there to rip off the elderly - I wouldn’t bother.

Speaking as someone who has just bought a house from renting, please consider that the grass isn’t always greener. We lived in a mouldy house for years, my clothes used to go mouldy in my wardrobe within a week of washing - apparently it was our fault as tenants! The house looked fine when we first walked in, despite the musty smell as they painted it straight after old tenants left. We got charged hundreds when we left for things that were in poor condition when we moved in years before!

Honestly, having your own house is stressful because you have to fix everything, but it’s worse when you’re paying rent towards a house that needs fixing and you have to live in it while a landlord resists doing any repairs!

SpeakingFranglais · 27/10/2021 06:27

It’s really hard getting tradespeople at the moment OP. My DH is bloody useless, But he introduced me to their company maintenance man who lives local and can do anything. He’s now my go to handyman, I save a list of jobs and then he comes and does them all and I pay him.

See if you can find a local handyman on recommendation, mine can’t fix big boiler problems as he isn’t Safe Gas registered but he can change radiator valves and stuff like that.

hellcatspangle · 27/10/2021 06:47

Have you joined the next door app? It's really good for getting recommendations and you can post on there saying what help you need/what job needs doing.

MamsellMarie · 27/10/2021 07:11

Ask neighbours for the names of painters, builders, plumbers.
It isn't normaly this hard to get stuff done. It's partly covid - people not spending on holidays etc and doing up their houses. We are in teh countryside and it is also incomers buying up holiday homes/working from home and wanting their new property done up.
Very hard to get tradesmen. But if you get to know someone they will, if you don't mess them around, eg by adding extra jobs onto the one they've come to do, or delay payment (I always pay as soon as I get a bill) they'll come quicker the next time.

SaltySheepdog · 27/10/2021 07:17

I think it will get easier long term. You just need a go to person for electrics, decorating, plumbing, gardening, building work and if good use the same person every time.

Ask on Facebook for recommendations. It’s the shopping about bit and deciding who to use which is the trickiest part

Justcannotbearsed · 27/10/2021 07:27

Once you find one decent person they tend to have recommendations. I tend to go with a mix of bigger firms, pay a bit more but tend to be more reliable and recommendations from friends or work colleagues.

I’ve built up some trustworthy reliable contacts this way.

It is much harder at the moment. It’ll get easier.

Painters, in my experience, tend to be more reliable than some other trades.

I also you tube and google things to see if I can do them myself.

Littlecaf · 27/10/2021 07:34

Local Facebook sites are really good at handyperson adverts and plumbers. Lots of friends swear by British Gas mainetance contract.

It’s a pain though OP. We have half a dozen jobs that need doing too!

CyclesPerfecta · 27/10/2021 07:48

Sorry for your loss OP. Do you speak to your neighbours? Most of recommendations for reliable workers came from our neighbours.

Flowersintheattic2021 · 27/10/2021 08:19

Home serve are good take out q monthly policy

Lockdownbear · 27/10/2021 09:36

The British Gas thing is good when you have a cold snap and they'll guarantee you a repair within 24hrs.

The other thing is once you've used them a couple of years you can always ask "the man" who he actually works for, BG use a network or smaller local businesses to actually do the work. You could save buy going direct to them.

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