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Original poster

When a seller behaves badly

26 replies

MovingMillie · 22/10/2021 14:36

I'm currently in a chain going through conveyancing and expecting to complete in the next few weeks. Things have got strained due to there being issues further up the chain and sellers have sent us a quite rude email through solicitors based on a misunderstanding on one of the solicitor's parts. We had some issues with the survey picking up some stuff as well showing the house is in worse condition than it looks (nothing major but niggly stuff which will cost a few k to sort, but we're already paying at the ceiling of what the house is worth due to crazy market). Anyway, between that and the seller being so rude it's just made me feel really pissed off and taken the shine off the move. It all seems so stressy and it's hard to focus on the positives. Especially since in the last few months since making the offer there are other houses coming up on the market for similar or less money in nicer condition!
Anyone else been in this position and ended up falling in love with the house once it's all been ironed out? We're hoping this will be a 5-yr stepping stone house

OP posts:

MissConductUS · 22/10/2021 15:08

If you're not contractually obligated to buy the house, I'd drop it and keep looking. Take a look at the other options first though.

Sea62648 · 22/10/2021 15:10

If there's issues already with the roof and there's other nicer and cheaper houses available, I would 100% be booking viewings for them. And if you're getting rude emails from the seller then at least you won't feel guilty if you withdraw your offer!!

Sea62648 · 22/10/2021 15:11

Oops just saw you didn't say issues with the actual roof but still expensive issues!

Original poster

MovingMillie · 22/10/2021 15:22

Honestly, that's what I'm tempted to do. It could all fall apart anyway due to the issues higher up. DH is keen to go ahead though. We've already spent a couple of thousand on solicitors but if we buy a cheaper place then that could be cancelled out by lower purchase price and less stamp duty.

We're talking standard 1930's semi, so there are a lot of nice roads in a 1-mile radius with similar properties, some of which are coming up with slightly more updated kitchens and bathrooms for the same money or less. So it's a bit galling to have the sellers being rude. They've also been quite pushy to us about updates but less keen to be accommodating and responsive when we've asked for things - they have quite an arrogant attitude. I'm struggling to separate emotion from the practicality of being close to completing on quite a nice house in a nice area. There is still competition for properties so it's not guaranteed that we would get the nice Rightmove ones and it could all fall apart again with another house. It's so frustrating

OP posts:

MissConductUS · 22/10/2021 15:33

It is frustrating. Sometimes buying a house is a bit like dating. You have to kiss a few frogs then throw them back in the pond before you find your true love.

The sellers will just get worse as you get closer to completion. They probably feel conflicted about having to sell, or are just arseholes.

Original poster

MovingMillie · 22/10/2021 15:40

@MissConductUS I think it’s just the latter they put us through quite a ‘rigorous’ selection process before accepting our offer

OP posts:

MissConductUS · 22/10/2021 15:47

Purchasing property is what economists call a mutually beneficial transaction. They want the money more than they want the house and you want the house enough to take out a mortgage to buy it.

There is always some friction in transactions like these, but if you feel like there are other options that are a better value, explore them and if they seem realistic, withdraw from this one. There are always other houses to buy, so it's a mistake to get your heart set on one to the detriment of common sense.

Good luck.

Palavah · 22/10/2021 15:49

You're not buying them, you're buying the house.

If you're no longer happy with that transaction and are satisfied with your alternatives then walk away. But don't cut your nose off to spite your face if it's just about them being arsey.

Original poster

MovingMillie · 22/10/2021 15:59

Thanks for the reminders. DH is better at staying detached and focusing on the facts, i.e. it’s a nice enough property and we are nearly there. I probably take things too personally - I’m imagining them telling the neighbours we’re difficult.
I just called an agent to enquire about a nice one nearby that popped up a few days ago, as a back up, and it’s already gone which is a good reminder of how cut throat the market is and that there are no guarantees

OP posts:

Didiusfalco · 22/10/2021 16:04

I think I would go and look at some of the better/cheaper houses to see if they really are. If you see something you like more drop the existing house, if not it may put your mind at rest that it is worth all the hassle. We had a very stressful move and the vendors ended up ripping out every bit of carpet, and anything we didn't pay extra for. I must admit it was so stressful it took we a while not to dislike the house.

Original poster

MovingMillie · 22/10/2021 16:10

@Didiusfalco that’s awful behaviour. It really does bring out the worst in people. Hopefully you’re all settled now and feeling a bit happier.

Agree, it’s probably worth me booking some viewings just to confirm whether the grass really is greener or if it’s stress which is clouding my judgement. Also the thought of how much commission their agent will make off us despite her being arsehole! But I guess estate agents don’t get the bad reputation out of nowhere!

My last move was as a ftb into a probate property and was seamless so it probably gave me a false understanding of the property market!

OP posts:

friendlycat · 22/10/2021 17:04

Yes I agree you are buying the house (if you want it) and need to separate any issues about your vendor from this as they will be history.

It sounds to me as though you are having cold feet about the house and using the vendor being "arsy" as an excuse to back out.

If you are having cold feet about the house you need to get yourself some viewings of these other houses pronto to satisfy your mind as to which way you want to go.

The EA commission is just a fact of life in this business transaction I'm afraid.

The property market is horrible at the moment and your last foray into it was very different as a FTB with a probate sale. Being in a chain is way more complicated and stressful.

The one thing is if you go and view any other houses are they with the same agent who is selling the house you are currently due to be buying?

HouseyHouse21 · 22/10/2021 19:00

Try to stay emotionally detached (easier said than done, I know!) You haven't given much detail but it's possible that the seller also thinks you're being unreasonable! Might help if you assume they're generally acting in good faith, and just as keen as you are for everything to complete smoothly and to get their £££.

dumdumdidum · 22/10/2021 20:53

Definitely separate emotion from the transaction. You aren't buying the seller you are buying the house. Don't believe the grass is greener elsewhere, the fact you have been successful in not only bidding on a property and getting it is a win. The way the economy is going to pull out of a transaction now is risky business. Mortgage rates are due to rise so lock in to whatever low rate you have now. Plus who knows what announcements could come re stamp duty increase etc in the chancellor's November statement. The treasury need cash and don't rule out property as a way to get it. Get any property transactions done now - there's no guarantees you will get somewhere else at a reasonable price with the mortgage rate and SD rates you are getting now. Head over heart on this one

BlueMongoose · 22/10/2021 22:41

@dumdumdidum

That doesn't necessarily apply if prices locally are genuinely falling, though. Most house transactions have their fraught moments, so it's often best to grit your teeth and go with the flow. But not always.

dumdumdidu · 23/10/2021 08:20

@BlueMongoose the extra £5k off an asking price is not the same amount of savings as the interest on a 5 year mortgage at a v. low interest rate

spottedwellies · 23/10/2021 08:26

The very fact you are considering g this OP means the EA was right to put you through a rigorous selection process. This is exactly the type of flaky buyer situation she was probably trying to
avoid. You are considering pulling out an the 11th hour disappointing all the people in the chain relying on this move and losing everyone thousands of pounds all because you don't like the tone of an email! Honestly! £2k lost on legal fees may be nothing to you but it is to a lot of people. People in the chain might be desperate to move because they are fleeing a dv situation or someone may need to move to a nursing home or trying to secure a better school for their young children etc. You would let the whole thing collapse because of the tone of an email. It's extraordinarily selfish and karma has a way of catching up to people who do things like this

sqirrelfriends · 23/10/2021 08:38

It's a hard one when you don't actually know the reasons why they're acting that way. Are they desperate to move or are they having second thoughts? They could have had buyers ghost them in the past and have misplaced anger towards you as a buyer.

I've never sold but as a FTB I had an offer in on a house where one of the divorcing couple didn't want to sell, I had already spent quite a bit of time and money when they went quiet I had to pull out myself in the end as they weren't replying. I was very angry after that.

LIZS · 23/10/2021 08:51

In what way are they rude? Are you speaking to them directly (if so why?) or is agent/solicitor passing on messages so tone may be lost. Agree separate them from house.

gingerninja1 · 23/10/2021 10:39

you are really lucky to get to this point in the sale. We've had 3 purchases fall through in the last year. First one vendor changed her mind and decided not to move because she couldn't find an onward purchase. The next one survey uncovered major issues which would have cost over £30k to fix. The third one is going through now but looking a bit shaky at the top of the chain because very old vendor being forced to move by his children but doesn't really want to move so may pull out at any minute. It's so stressful. There is no guarantee the next place you offer on won't have chain issues or a seller pulling out. County yourself lucky to be in a complete chain that's about to go through

Original poster

MovingMillie · 23/10/2021 11:00

Thanks all. I’ve calmed down now. It wasn’t just about their tone, also lots of issues along the way such as them being dismissive of very reasonable questions we had about survey findings, other legal things etc, feeling misled during the bidding process and also about them being very overbearing with asking us for updates whilst not responding to our concerns. I won’t go into too much detail but the chain further up looks shaky because of some odd decisions made around communications between seller’s solicitor and their sellers. Anyway, we intend to try and proceed and we’re doing lots to make that happen.
As I said, it’s just taken the shine off things and I worry we might walk into a messy house with neighbours who dislike us, though that is my anxiety getting the better of me.

OP posts:

gingerninja1 · 23/10/2021 11:18

Don't worry about it honestly- how do
you even know they get on with their neighbours to tell them anything about you? They're probably so busy packing and worrying about moving they are unlikely to have the time to gossip with neighbours about you. Any messy house can be sorted with a clean. Just get on with enjoying your new house once it all goes through and put all this property madness behind you. It will all be a distant memory once you are in. Good luck!

BlueMongoose · 23/10/2021 12:44

[quote dumdumdidu]@BlueMongoose the extra £5k off an asking price is not the same amount of savings as the interest on a 5 year mortgage at a v. low interest rate[/quote]
I don't think I was clear enough. What I was saying was that if prices have fallen locally, pressing on might not be the best move whatever interest rates might be doing.

bingandsula · 14/12/2021 21:49

@MovingMillie what did you decide to
do in the end? Did you go through with it?

GutsInMay · 15/12/2021 10:02

The other houses may me in the market for less, but will you get them for that price? Houses are going for more than asking round here.

It’s all about the house. You are buying a house as a business transaction, not making friends with the seller. Rudeness: meh.

If you have changed your mind about the house don’t buy it.

If you are selling, will your buyers wait while you start again?

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