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Original poster

Found dream home - but worried about area

29 replies

Photogemic · 10/10/2021 20:56

So me and DH are selling up and moving out of London. We're doing this for a few reasons including having more room for starting a family.

We viewed a house this weekend and absolutely love it but then I was reading a thread about Kent and its racism....

The house we viewed was near Greenhithe and I'm concerned after reading this other thread about Kent as my husband is mixed race and if we have children they will be obviously be mixed too. I'm worried that we're moving to somewhere that my husband is going to be subjected to racism and our future children. I know wherever we go it's not going to be as cosmopolitian and diverse as London but I don't want to go somewhere that is going to be hateful against my family.

Am I just overreacting or should we try for a different area? We are flying blind as my husband has only ever lived in London and I'm not from the SE so dont know areas either.

Thanks!

OP posts:

FurierTransform · 10/10/2021 22:03

I honestly think you're overreacting & it will be fine. I'd say there is more racism within London than there is outside.

NatriumChloride · 10/10/2021 22:06

@FurierTransform

I honestly think you're overreacting & it will be fine. I'd say there is more racism within London than there is outside.

blacklilypad · 10/10/2021 23:31

I wouldn't say Kent is particularly racist. I'm sure there are some horrible people but definitely a very small minority.

If you are really worried maybe stay in the area in an air bnb for a few days and get a feel for the area. I don't know Greenhithe well at all but I would be surprised if it was very racist

ArcheryAnnie · 10/10/2021 23:35

I'd definitely, definitely recommend visiting and staying, especially over a weekend. Find a Premier Inn to stay in, drop into a lot of cafes, walk into a pub, and so on. Will give you a feel of the place.

chopc · 10/10/2021 23:47

I live in a very Caucasian white area in Kent and forget I am a different race (and colour). Have not experienced racism since 1980's

skippy67 · 11/10/2021 01:04

@FurierTransform

I honestly think you're overreacting & it will be fine. I'd say there is more racism within London than there is outside.

skippy67 · 11/10/2021 01:05

@chopc

I live in a very Caucasian white area in Kent and forget I am a different race (and colour). Have not experienced racism since 1980's

Redsquirrel5 · 11/10/2021 04:44

My daughter went to Uni in Bristol and loved how diverse it was that she stay for several years. Lots of different areas- she lived in four great independent shops in Gloucester Road. Lots of parks and because of those and the canals it doesn’t feel like a city. I don’t like cities but I could live in Bristol.
I don’t know Kent at all but agree try and go for a long weekend. Look at the crime figures for the area, look at schools websites near the house. If you don’t like it you could always move again. Not ideal but possible. Go for a second look at the house as you always see more the second time. Good luck.

rrhuth · 11/10/2021 04:50

What are the stats on race for the area you are looking at? I agree go for a visit.

WTF475878237NC · 11/10/2021 05:05

I live in a very very white county, and have only one other non white person like me in the immediate area. Definitely spend some time there out and about and see how your husband is treated.

The latest government report says men from mixed ethnic backgrounds (21%) were more likely to be victims of crime than men from any other ethnic group for the 3 years from April 2017 to March 2020. So it's very wise to be aware of what you're potentially up against.

rrhuth · 11/10/2021 07:03

I just wanted to say I think it is shit you have to consider this. I hope you find the right place in the end.

CellophaneFlower · 11/10/2021 07:40

These single emoji answers are so unhelpful. If you have an issue with a comment do articulate... or are you not able? @skippy67 I'm assuming the poster means they haven't personally experienced any racism. Who are you to judge if they have or not?

Paranoidandroidmarvin · 11/10/2021 07:55

@rrhuth this 100% I’m an totally gutted that this is even a thing that someone has to think about when they move. It is awful and shouldn’t happen. I’m so so sorry.

SentDeliveredRead · 11/10/2021 09:06

I saw those comments about Kent too. I suppose there is good and bad everywhere
Go and get a feel for it. It has a different vibe nearer the coast

Ariela · 11/10/2021 09:31

I would go and stay in the area, stay Wed night to Saturday morning. Get up early on Thursday and Friday - sus out whether the location is good for commute, parking, schools (walkable?). Check how parking is in the evenings. Find the local pubs, go for a meal. Go find a local cafe for breakfast on Saturday and see how you find the place. What's the local community like?

skippy67 · 11/10/2021 14:52

@CellophaneFlower

These single emoji answers are so unhelpful. If you have an issue with a comment do articulate... or are you not able? *@skippy67* I'm assuming the poster means they haven't personally experienced any racism. Who are you to judge if they have or not?

I find the poster's comment about forgetting what colour they are hard to believe. No judgement on whether or not they've experienced racism.

rrhuth · 11/10/2021 15:14

@CellophaneFlower

There's been a lot of interesting discussion about how useful emojis are at expressing responses, especially in these times where face to face discussion is limited.

I am a big fan of the and emojis personally.

CellophaneFlower · 11/10/2021 16:07

@rrhuth Nothing against emojis here, just feel they're better as an addition to an opinion, rather than instead of one 👍

JaffacakeJanine · 11/10/2021 16:17

Deffo check it out over a weekend or longer if possible. I think a lot of micro-aggressions toward non-white people are not always picked up on by white people and it's impossible to rely on the recommendations here or know fully it's going to be okay unless you experience it for yourself.

It may also give your DH a taste of living somewhere less diverse and see if it works for him or not.

CellophaneFlower · 11/10/2021 16:21

@skippy67 I apologise as I read the initial post wrongly. However, my point remains the same. If the poster does feel that way, that's great and perhaps not the best thing to imply she's blinkered in any way.

stalkersaga · 11/10/2021 16:22

I agree that you should spend a long weekend there, eat out, look around the shops. See how you feel walking around and using the local businesses. Look at the diversity of the local schools, especially those you would be in catchment for.

Madwife123 · 12/10/2021 00:49

How sad that this even needs to be a consideration. I understand why it is but it shouldn’t be this way, skin colour should have no bearing on buying a house! I hope you find somewhere lovely x

bluebirdswhistle · 12/10/2021 03:19

Definitely go and experience a night there, eat out at local restaurants shop at the supermarket and see how you feel. Phone the local schools find out what percentage of their children are from an ethnic minority background as this will tell you whether your child will be the only one.

Years ago (around 15 yrs) an old colleague of mine bought a house in kent. They were an Asian family (fairly westernised and friendly so would happily integrate etc) Within a week they fled back to london to live with her parents because the racism from the neighbours was so horrific. They then spent ages trying to sell the property and were too scared to even go back there to move their stuff back out

umbel · 12/10/2021 06:45

Agree with others that it’s a shameful thing (for the country) that you have to even consider this. I think the advice to go and stay is a good idea.

One further thing you may want to consider, beyond any overt racism, is how a lack of diversity may affect your family, especially your future children. I know this is a concern for friends of mine who live in a very white area and whose kids do not see themselves reflected in the society around them, even though the community is generally very open and welcoming.

Original poster

Photogemic · 24/10/2021 12:15

Thank you to everyone and the advice. We're going to go back to the area and spend some more time there. I talked to my husband about it and he said when he was walking around the area and when we were eating out he felt fine but think its a good idea to go back.

Thanks again and agree its shitty that this has to be put into consideration when moving.

OP posts:

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