Which option would you choose?

[Housebuy]

Looking for some wise perspective please. I've been a single parent for many years and am currently renting after selling previous property. I have a DP who lives in his own house. Up until recently we were looking at houses together but DP decided he wants to wait. I was ready to buy last year so do not want to wait any longer as paying a fortune in rent and am financially in a good position to buy. But I also live in a very expensive city so can't get much alone. I have one DC. Which option would you choose?

1. Buy a small terrace house in city centre close to DCs school. Same area we are currently living in (renting). Close to all amenities and good transport links. Downsides are houses often very pokey, small gardens, downstairs bathroom or need work etc. Would need a mortgage of around 100-150k. I have looked at about 20 houses in centre and didn't like any of them.

1. Buy a house outside city mortgage free! Still 2 bed but much bigger nicer house with more space. Could save money I would be spending on rent/mortgage for future house. Downsides are school run would be about 15-20 min drive rather than short walk now. Wouldn't be close to many amenities or know anyone local. Might be lonely living there being a single parent? Would be closer to countryside.

1. Carry on renting until I have made firm decision or for DP to be "ready"? Potentially with DP we could buy much bigger house between us but he may never make up his mind.

I would like long term stability. I am leaning towards option 2 because the mortgage free option is appealing but is it worth moving out of centre for that? Would appreciate any thoughts.

I'd personally go for option 2. Being mortgage free gives you so much security for the future. A 15-20 min drive to school really isn't that far... I live in the countryside and that's a typical journey to anything. I assume you could also get to meet ups with friends or other activities in that time to avoid feeling isolated.

Sounds like an ideal option and you actively looking to buy could be the "prompt" for your DP to commit long term or let you know that he's really not committing, either way you'll be clearer on where you stand.

2, without hesitation.

1! Location, location, location… plus when DC is older will be less burden on you as able to get self around.

Definitely not 3!

I can see that 2 is tempting, but how old is your dc? Lack of transport could be an issue in teenage years. Wouldn't a teen prefer a small house but close to public transport or entertainment venues? 1 could well be better in the long term.

I would go with 1 personally as location is always the most important factor for me and I like to be walking distance from school and shops. Sounds like you would prefer 2 though from your description and it would probably make the most sense financially.

I'd err towards 1 -- there's a lot to be said for being on top of everything, even if it means a smaller house (and a mortgage, in your case).

I live in an expensive city too Edinburgh and I'm wary of moving outside of it, because driving into it is such a PITA. Where I am at the moment, I can walk to anywhere in the city centre, or get a bus or a tram. I only need the car for long journeys.

1, so much to be said for dc being able to access city when old enough, stay in same school etc. And the mortgage wouldn't be dead money as the house would presumably appreciate more.

Which of 1 or 2 would rent out easier? Would you need to resell to move in with DP at some point in future or could you rent out the house and move into a joint place?

If that's not an option I'd ask why you didn't like any of the 20 option 1 houses? Decoration ie something that could be fixed or something more fundamental?

And lastly is DC primary or secondary? If primary which house would be better for secondary school ?

Is option 2 an option and moving school?

Thanks all. DS is in Yr 4 primary school now. So say we moved beginning of next year that would be 2.5 years of driving to and from school (unless we moved again). Good secondary schools in city centre and outside centre too. Outside the centre, the schools have much space etc compared to inner city schools. The public transport links are not too bad from villages (direct bus takes about 20 mins to centre) and I could drive DC to events if needed... Visiting friends now often takes around 20-30 mins on foot.

It is so difficult. I originally thought location but all the houses I've looked at have been TINY, much smaller than current rental. I looked at a couple of bigger ones for my maximum amount of mortgage and just thought I could not justify spending so much money on a 2 bed house! Seriously, I could buy a giant castle somewhere for the same money There is also a lot of development going on in the city, it's become very noisy and with DP we were looking at houses in countryside so I have been swayed a bit by a bigger house and living amongst greenery. Of course now though just for me and DS.

DS is now 8 and would just like a bigger bedroom and more space atm. He seems to like the idea of living outside the centre too. Moving outside of his current catchment would mean he'd go to local (village) secondary instead of one in city centre. But many of his friends have moved recently so they are in different catchments for secondary school too.

I am also not sure about moving again in the future. Obviously this wouldn't be our 'forever home' because it's all I can afford and with DP future is uncertain but we could find ourselves moving to a hopefully bigger place in a year or two. If we were to move again I would need to sell the house I think. If not, house in centre would rent very easily and probably one in village too. But then I think if we will be moving again in a year or two is it too much upheaval for DS and maybe we should carry on renting? This is where I go round in circles

Option 1. How tiny is tiny?

Option 2 because I value space and countryside. Would also rather a more rural secondary school. Definitely wouldn’t go with option 3.

I'd have said option 2 anyway, but especially with your updates, definitely 2. Given there are still transport links and your DS is keen and friends have moved away anyway. I'd be worried you'll end up moving again really soon if you go for option 1, as it really doesn't sound like you'd be happy in one of those houses you've looked at.

Does the fact that your DP wants to wait (even though you don't) suggest anything about the future of this relationship? What exactly is holding him back but not you?

Being able to get to and from secondary school independently works well for children. (Is this an option in both?)

Spending money on something that you can already see is too small and in a noisy area sounds difficult. It is second best already.

@Snoofox02 about 60sqm without mortgage, maybe 70-80sqm with mortgage. That's for middle of city

Thanks option 2 votes. Think that is more preferable.

@Wildheartsease yes DP hesitant about lots of things in general. That's a whole other post!

Definitely no. 1. It's actually a choice I made and have no regrets. Downstairs bathroom, on the edge of the town centre, perfect place to live.

Not option 3 !

Are there other options ?
a) dc move school during Primary
b) move to a 'suburb' so not village life (which teens, as a rule are never keen on), but more space than the inner city, and more convenient for them to get buses etc as they become more independent ?
Not having a mortgage is a wonderful thing, but you are young at the moment (presumably, with an 8 yr old, you have plenty of working years ahead of you) so I don't think I'd choose to really compromise on the space (or facilities or locations) I want, to not have a relatively small mortgage. You've got a long time to live in it if you feel it doesn't work for you.

I think this whole situation shows that you cannot rely upon "D"P to have your back & support you. The relationship is a dead duck. He's let you down, badly. I wouldn't waste another second waiting for him. He's let you take all the risk in selling your asset while he sat comfortably in his appreciating asset. He's lost you a fortune by his indecisiveness. Why did you go ahead with the sale when it was obvious he wasn't keeping up his part of the bargain?

From what you've said I think moving out of the city & being mortgage-free sounds the best option. DS could go to a local school & you can save up a lot of money to enable you to move back to the city in a few years time. I'd really take "D"P out of this equation. You & DS come first. He clearly puts himself first & has no qualms about messing around a single mum. He's not thinking serious or long term. Don't risk your financial future on him any longer.

I would go for option 1. The house may be smaller but, it will retain/increase value better than houses in the outskirts if the are you are looking at is a desirable area. It also allows for your life to go as you like it and your child is used to while DP makes his mind.

Whatever you do, stop renting if you can, with the property market so volatile you may end up in a much worse place for the same money in a years time.

I took option 1 many years ago. The bigger house in the outskirts I was looking at, which was valued at the same price as mine at the time, has gone up in value by 70%, my smaller house in a central location has gone up by 200%.

If I rent it, I would get twice as much per month than I would get for the bigger house in the outskirts.

Definitely not 3!!!

In the past I wound say 1, but now I would say 2.

Could you spend a bit more and buy something that could be your “forever” home? Do not make plans that assume your DP will want to buy together in the future.

Definitely option 1. Location to school, proximity to amenities and people on your doorstep cannot be underestimated.

@FuckYouCorona the house I had and sold had nothing to do with DP. I had the house on sale before I met him. I had always planned to rent for a while but not for this long. DP however is a big factor in why I delayed house searching and I have spent more on rent than originally planned.

Option 1 or 2, still switching between both At least I can rule out 3