Help! Opinions on risk vs opportunity of this situation

[ScarletApple]

TL:DR do we stay put and try and move next year, or do we go for it and break the chain to get a bigger house in this mental market.

We've sold our house and our sale is ready to exchange. We have been looking to buy for months and virtually nothing has come on in our small search area - when we've offered we've been pulverised in bidding wars, as it's a very desirable location. Our current house is lovely but we're rapidly growing out of it - it can't be extended anymore, and the downstairs space is simply too small for the size of our family. We need a playroom and a study, plus a much bigger garden (ours is small).

We went on the market just before the pandemic but quickly had to come off, so this is our second attempt at moving. Our buyer is now impatient and wants us to go into rented, threatening to walk - we do have one rental option, but it's expensive and we'd be squeezed into an even smaller house for the duration.

I'm now in a position where I have no idea what to do. We could stay in our lovely, affordable house and manage for a bit longer, having another go next year and letting this very motivated but increasingly arsey buyer go on their way. Tbh we could probably sell it for more, now! Or we could go ahead, knowing that we've wanted more space for a long time, move into rented, be chain free and ready to pounce on one of the very few houses that come on the market. Prices have risen so rapidly that we could be priced out of the next rung up if this continues.

I'm beginning to have nightmares that we end up selling this house, move into rented, and then just end up buying a similar-sized house for more money due to the price rises! There are a couple of houses coming on the market soon which could be 'the dream' but there's no guarantee we'd win the bidding war, or that it wouldn't all fall apart later, leaving us with nothing. But, if we don't make the move soon, we might not be able to afford it. The EA says we need to put ourselves in the best position possible or we won't secure something anyway in this market.

Help, wise mumsnetters - give me some perspective!

You ignored your gut last time and caved to pressure and ended up with something unsuitable.

Why are you repeating the same mistake?

How easy is it likely to be to find another buyer? Is your house in great condition, in a desirable area/ street? If so I think you'd be mad to break the chain.
If it's a difficult sell - Flat next to a commercial premises or with family sized accommodation and no garden (in other words needs a fairly specific kind of buyer that is harder to come by), it might just be worth it.
But if you are in a popular spot and ideal for first time buyers or a young family, you have far more to lose than you are likely to gain

We broke the chain and it was the only reason we got this house. Will you be at risk of being priced out or do you have plenty of equity?

I’d stay put. You don’t need to pull out of the purchase but just say you won’t be going into rented but will still be moving when the right property comes up.

Your agent should be fine. They’ll want your future business. People pull out of sales all the time, it’s part of the job description to handle that.

…Pull out of the sale…

How about this: Pull out of the sale, express a lot of empathy and apology for the agent, maybe buy them a nice gift in connection with the apology (not hugely expensive but also not cheap), tell her you are really sorry but cannot bear the risk and higher cost of moving into rented.

Also, if you give that same agent clear detail on what you are looking for and your budget and that you are a serious buyer, you can make clear that they have an opportunity to turn this into two transactions by helping you to find your next house and also selling yours when you are actually able to sell in order to move into the new one they will have found for you!

Don’t move. £1000 more in rental is crazy

Thanks so much everyone. I’m going to bed feeling a lot less stressed. I’m going to hold firm on not renting and we’ll just see what happens. If she walks, fine. I’d rather restart with another buyer and just be clear that we’re looking but the market means there’s a wait. I have friends here who’s chain has been going for nine months- no one can find anything else so is waiting it out.

Our house is a pristine family home in excellent school catchments. The road isn’t the favourite in terms of address, but it’s incredibly quiet and lovely neighbours. Realistically it will sell again without much fuss. I think I got swept away after the lockdowns to just move on and lost site of the bigger picture…

You’d need to pay
Removal cost
Solicitor fees
Rental fees
Loss increase in house prices

Rental will possibly cost you a bigger house!

Mortgages are more difficult as well as a new lender.

I’d sit tight and see if the idea house pops up - maybe change the search criteria slightly wider area.

Remember, the only reason the EA wants you to complete this sale is they don’t get the commission unless you do. They have no interest in what is best for you, it’s all about the money so do not be pressured by them.

Don't break the chain, my friend did this and ended up buying a house they'd rejected early on in their search for £100k more than they would have done a year earlier.

The best thing for you is to stay put and the best thing for your buyer is to walk away. Yours isn’t a house for someone who is serious about buying.

@EssentiallyDisorganised if they move into rented they will still have to pay £100k more because they haven't got somewhere to buy yet plus all the costs of renting. They are currently top of the chain.

I would try and keep your buyer on side and tell them you are looking for a rental but keep looking to buy in the meantime. It's all well and good saying your agent has found you a rental but if it's thousand pounds a month more than you can afford it's not a viable option. If you can't find anything to buy I'd let your buyer walk away as I wouldn't risk being out of the market at the moment.

@londonagent thanks. I’ve asked the EA to try and talk to the buyer about the reality of the market. It’s an excellent point that £1000 per month more than our mortgage for a small house is both insane…and a product of it being the only thing available!

So yes, the message is we’re still looking, but feel free to vote with your feet if you want to…

It’s almost unanimous we shouldn’t break the chain. I really needed that perspective. Neither DH or I have parents who can give sensible grownup financial advice, and I think a lack of experienced ‘mentors’ has led to us being naive (i.e. not buying younger when we could have made a much better profit and would be in a much bigger, but less expensive house at this point), over paying on our first house, and being pressured to buy something without thinking for long enough on the next one. It’s such a risk of history repeating itself!

We’ve been a mix of too conservative and cautious, and not cautious enough 🤦🏼‍♀️

It's a learning curve @ScarletApple. My view is you need to buy and sell and few houses to learn how to do it properly.

I'll just add my experience: we were in this situation last summer. Sold our house because we needed something bigger, intended to break the chain by renting and literally could not find anything suitable to rent. Buyers pissed off, agent pissed off, but realistically you can't make yourself homeless or live in a shoebox for the convenience of others. Anyway, we pulled out and in that time 1. nothing we would have wanted to buy has come on the market 2. no better rentals have come on the market 3. our current house has increased in value by about 20%

@ScaryHairyMcClary - several people have pointed out that we’re under charging for our house by about £50k now, given how much everything else has risen. So there’s also that!

In a market why prices are unstable and have rapidly risen is not the time to move out and rent rather than stay put and wait for something to buy.

Your buyer is being pushy because they want it at the price agreed, if they walk away they will have to pay at least £50k more for the same.

They are concerned you will ask for more to reflect the current market and in order that you can afford the step up.

The market will settle don't be guilted into moving into rented under such volatile conditions.

We went into rented as we were combining our 2 households. Although it meant we got our lovely house, I wouldn’t do it again. It was so stressful, spending all this money on rent, being outbid and properties falling through. Our rental was horrible to live in too. Can you do a loft conversion? Garden office? At the very least, stay and maybe reconsider the boundaries of your search area. That’s what we did when we couldn’t find anywhere and we’ve ended up somewhere beautiful with a lovely home. But it’s so manic at the mo; don’t let your buyer pressure you. You can always find another one-and just be honest with your agent-that you can’t find anything to buy or to rent that’s within budget.

We were pressured out of our house as we couldn't find anything to buy. Well, we found things we loved but kept getting beaten by cash buyers with seemingly endless amounts of money. If we had to go to rented I wouldn't have done it as there was nothing to rent but we are staying with PIL (which is adding a whole different level of stress).

However, because of our position of being chain free we found our perfect property and we weren't the highest offer. We were in the best position.

There are definitely positives to both choices. But we moved area (about 100 miles) and I was really ready to move and couldn't face staying for another year. Nothing wrong with the area, I just was desperate to change and wanted to move pre pandemic. If we were staying local, I wouldn't have budged until I found something. There's no shortage of buyers so you don't need to worry about losing them. But if you can keep her then your position is basically chain free as they are ready to go

Get your estate agent to find you a house to buy.. say that renting is now out of the question.

I’d defo stay put for now. Why would you move into a smaller and more expensive place just to placate this buyer? I doubt that they will drop out, sounds like they’re calling your bluff. How are they delivering all this aggro to you? I’d block them from whatever communication they’re using and send them to the EA.