Trapped in flat wwyd?

[Trappedinflatandskint]

Feeling trapped.

Currently live in a two bed shared ownership property in London. I bought 40% four years ago on my own. Market value for 100% was £395k. Recently valued at £385k. Could be worse. I put down around £25k (15% deposit on the bit I bought).

DP has moved in and we want to move. We don't have enough space and are hoping to have kids soon via IVF (so a load more money and we're old so time is of the essence). We both WFH.

We can't afford to sell this and make a loss - we don't have savings to put down a decent deposit anywhere else. We'd considered buying the remaining 60% of this place and renting it out, which we also can't afford to do currently (DP is recently self employed and needs to wait 18 months before applying for a mortgage, we'd also need a chunky deposit). We could ask for permission to let out without buying rest of flat but I'm nervous about being a landlord for all of the obvious reasons.

We've even considered letting out the largest bedroom and ensuite and keeping a room as a London base while we rent a house elsewhere.

I don't really know what I'm asking. We're desperate to get on with our lives but have v little savings.

What would you do? Let/sublet? Just sell and bank the money while we rent elsewhere and save while also paying for IVF?! I love this flat, and it's the only secure (ish) thing I've ever had financially, and it's mine, not DPs I don't want to lose it without getting something better in place.

It doeends on whether you need the capital for IVF.

The advantage of buying the remaining 60% now is that you get it at current valuation ie less than you bought the first 40% for, and any appreciation from this point is all yours.

Why do you want to move apart from more space?

The sensible thing would be to massively declutter and buy decent storage whilst you save and try to buy the rest.

You don't seem to have any other alternative than sell and spend the money renting instead.

Out of interest why do you want to move? 2 beds is plenty of space for a family- one room for you, one room for baby, even 2 kids would be fine in a 2 bed until they’re much older. Fingers crossed for your IVF!

Do you really not have enough space? Honestly, in your situation, I’d take the minimalist approach and whittle down your possessions to buy yourself a few more years in the flat whilst the market evens out and to get you past the expensive IVF period: babies and toddlers really don’t need all the accoutrements and accessories first-time parents are convinced they do. As long as you can fit a cot and a bit of storage in the second bedroom it’s perfectly doable.

You cant usually rent out shared ownership

I would focus on the IVF. Thats the most time pressing in this situation.

Even if successful straight away you have 9 months to figure out what you want and cross that bridge.

Goodluck

I would crack on with your IVF plans and stay where you are for now. If DH has to wait 18 months to be able to get a mortgage, use that 18 month period for the IVF and if it's successful for maternity leave.
In 18 months when he is able to get a mortgage and you presumably are still able to, you'll be in a better position to sell/buy somewhere together.
When you get to that point it's still worth considering buying the other 60%. Speaking from experience, it's a pain in the @rs3 selling a % of a shared ownership property. Far easier to buy the rest and sell the full ownership.

Thanks all. Things to think about.

Regarding space, we now both WFH full time now. We have one bedroom as a bedroom and the other is a study for DP to work in. I work in our living room (which is also the kitchen/dining room/social space etc) and I guess I'm just a bit sick of it. Only one room in the flat stays clear of work and it's been this way for 18 months. We have a balcony but would like more outdoor space.

I have decluttered and we have a storage unit too where lots of DPs stuff lives.

(I am less desperate to move than DP. He made a lot of sacrifices moving in here.)

He made sacrifices to move in with you?? That's noble of him!

It sounds as though - understandably - you're going a bit stir-crazy after a year pretty much living out in 2 rooms. Can you and DP take turns to use the study? Can each of you spend some time working elsewhere for a day a week for a change of scene? I'm considering a swap with a neighbour where we work from each other's dining tables for a change of scene!

@Palavah

It sounds as though - understandably - you're going a bit stir-crazy after a year pretty much living out in 2 rooms. Can you and DP take turns to use the study? Can each of you spend some time working elsewhere for a day a week for a change of scene? I'm considering a swap with a neighbour where we work from each other's dining tables for a change of scene!

Yes definitely going stir crazy! Although appreciate we're luckier than lots. I can go into the office maybe once a week. No sign of DP being able to work elsewhere at the moment. A different kitchen table sounds like a plan - I'm sick of the sight of mine

A two bed flat is loads of room for the two of you, I wouldn’t sell up just yet as think the flat market will get better. Can he not rent a desk somewhere, they are pretty reasonable.

I’d also stay where you are and build up some savings. WFH won’t last forever and it is not a good time to sell a flat at the moment- I would bet that if you try again in a year you won’t make a loss. Could you rethink the space in bed 2 to make 2 studies (room divider). Could you rent a workspace and take it in turns to work there for half a week? It’s got to be worth a try to avoid the loss. If you go for IVF now then baby will probably be in the same room as you for a few months so you don’t need the extra space ASAP (my baby managed with a small chest and a Moses basket for at least 3 months). Flats can be great with babies as everything is in one place. Also bear in mind that there’s also very little on the market to move to, especially good family homes with gardens, and what there is is on at a premium so you might find yourself in the same position in a few years if you buy over the odds now. It’s also a nightmare doing renovations too. Also, just to check, are there any issues with cladding on your property as many people are having issues getting mortgages for flats without a certificate (can’t remember the name) which again is in the process of being resolved. Maybe go and view a few dodgy properties with your DH- I suspect your nice flat may seem a better bet!!

@heronwatcher no cladding issues thank goodness! I'd just go bankrupt in that position and have done with it.

OP I'm in a 2 bed flat with DH and DS 3, also trying for a second baby. Like you, want more space but not willing to take the hit as the flat market (assume you're in London) has dipped because of Covid. It will balance out and you won't be trapped forever.

Echo what others say - a 2 bed flat is absolutely enough space for 2 adults and a baby/toddler, and having to be mindful of space and storage actually works in your favour as you don't accumulate so much baby crap! Small kids just follow u around anyway so lots of extra space is pretty pointless imo.
I agree with the pp who said maybe try and get out to a shared workspace in your neighbourhood a couple days a week each so you're not on top of each other - I can see how that must feel a bit claustrophobic and the change of scenery might take the trapped feeling away?

And if you love the flat, then don't rush to sell at a loss. Ours does feel a bit of a squeeze sometimes and we will move at some point in the near future, but I do actually love it and its my home and looks after our family very well. You can make it work, promise!

Even with a bigger house those of us who have WFH for 18 months are going a bit stir crazy especially when partners are too!

Friends of ours had a baby shortly before lockdown in a one bed flat. The wife of the couple got very clever with storage from IKEA, but the baby did sleep in his cot in the hall for a while.

Can your DP rent a desk in a co-working facility close by when you really need the space? It sounds like something like that would be good for him mentally and it would free up a whole room, completely removing the sense of urgency.

Reading your updates I would still be inclined to stay put. If IVF is successful you’ll have a 9 months pregnancy ahead of you then 6 months of baby sleeping in your room. If you’re still both working from home after that then surely you can come up with something- a desk in your bedroom is the obvious solution. Co working spaces are also a great idea, especially if you’re sick of staring at the same 4 walls. We spent lockdown both WFH in a 2 bed flat and with the toddler at home so I know first hand that it’s do-able! I mean the toddler totally made it a nightmare but it wasn’t the flat’s fault. I actually really liked that DD’s bedroom was off the living so could keep all toys in her room, get them out to play and clean up was easy. No need to worry about stairs. Potty training was easy as always right near the loo. Etc etc. We moved to a house to coincide with the second baby.

Hang on, it's your flat. Why aren't you working in the spare room?

@hollowtalk legally mine but it's his home too and he WFH full time while I at least have the option of an office very occasionally. Also because it's where he has his stuff for his hobbies and whatnot. It makes sense for us - he always asks if I want the space and offers to switch it up but it's the best option for us. He's not some unthoughtful entitled cock lodger while I'm relegated to the kitchen that's what you're hinting at.

He could work on the ktichen table and you could work in the bedroom, though?

Looking around the flat at all the stuff I can get rid of... Though there's not much I can perhaps skip some books, declutter paperwork, slim down things, look into storage on the balcony etc.

Kudos to those of you who've done this and WFH with children in flats and everything it has entailed.

@HollowTalk

Hang on, it's your flat. Why aren't you working in the spare room?

Yes I thought this. The DP really has the better deal here. Also, it is very common for people to work from their main bedroom. Not ideal, but common.

You just have to work out your priorities. It sounds like your DP has brought a lot of stuff in that needs storage. Can he store this elsewhere in the medium term? Why does he get the nice second bedroom and not yours?

I'm gonna take a bet that he's not paying 50% rent/bills/food because your facilitating his self employment. Aka. Cocklodger

Right - DP not DH. So just think carefully about the implications of home ownership and changing things as you are currently not required to give up any of your financial security to your partner and I’d be wary of doing something at this point. It sounds like you’re under pressure to make a decision that isn’t necessarily in your best interests. And your DP is already getting the better deal in the WFH stakes, and he’s the one with the issues getting a mortgage yet so I would not rush.

IVF is taxing emotionally and expensive, of course. So I can understand wanting to have a better living environment but equally - it’s taxing and expensive. Better to not muddy the waters changing things.

No sign of DP being able to work elsewhere at the moment.

Why not if he’s self-employed? The suggestion of a co-working space is a good idea. And does he really need a storage unit’s worth of stuff - can get expensive.

We moved from a one-bed flat to a house when I got pregnant - we rented out the flat we jointly owned and in turn became tenants ourselves in the bigger house. But we were married, jointly owned 100% of the flat etc. It wasn’t stress free by any means. Dealing with tenant turnover with small babies and kids in tow, on top of jobs and general life stuff - it’s not an easy option necessarily although it did work out for us.

I really would caution you against making a rushed decision.