Would you relocate to be closer to family?

[lking679]

Would you relocate if you had young children (DD1 is 3 and DD2 is 10 months) and didn't live near any of your own family? Live near DH's family but MIL is awful - although great with the kids- and his sister and her family not interested in us (left DD2's christening early for her mates bbq, luckily she wasn't Godmother!)

So fed up of it just being us at weekends... we go out and do things but it's just always the 4 of us. My Mum friends all have family round them to keep them busy at weekends so can't really meet up with them either.

It's possible we can relocate to be closer to my family but it would be further away from city and jobs/future jobs and obviously a lot of disruption. Or do we wait until DD1 starts school and hope our weekends get more lively?

WWYD?

What does your DH think? Is he onboard?
Regarding jobs could you be closer to the city or is it too far from family still?

It sounds pretty miserable for you and I'd want to be near my family too.

I'd personally do it before DD1 starts school.

I really feel for you. We relocated to be near our family - but we're the grandparents - we were happy to move to be near our only daughter when she had her baby. Would your parents be able to move nearer you? If they can't I would seriously consider moving - you need family support - I know my daughter has found it really helpful to have us near. I'm so glad too - I can help her with childcare and we can see them regularly.

It's mostly just the 4 of us at weekends too, but we don't really see each other during the week so it's nice to have family time. We both work fulltime though (the kids are in nursery full time, they are 1 and 2). We did consider moving closer to my parents (both sets are over 100 miles away) but decided to stay in a place we preferred and convenient for jobs.

It’s tricky isn’t it! My parents wouldn’t move as I have other siblings that live close to them. We work full time as well and Saturday morning it’s all good but by Saturday afternoon I’m thinking I wish I could just have a visit and chat with someone other than DH! Also don’t think it’s good for me and DH either tbh!
Job situation worries me though as jobs aren’t as good there so not great ultimately for DD’s and if we lost our jobs think we’d struggle to find ones with equivalent salary.. but kind of feels like now or never before they start school!

Oh and DH is fine with it at least to try as I’ve been going on about how much I miss my family for years!

We were in this situation 10 years ago. I really wanted to move back to where I grew up, DH didn’t. We ended up staying where we were (and we aren’t near DH’s family either). If you are going to do it, then yes, do it before the children start school ideally.

As far as my situation goes, once the girls started school then Saturdays were crazy busy with parties and ballet lessons etc anyway. Sundays were quite nice to chill and we did visit family occasionally on this day anyway. Also, I made a new set of mum friends when they started school and we do sometimes go on days out together at weekends or holidays and pop in for a cuppa etc. Quite unexpectedly, both my parents died in their 60’s so actually, had we moved, we wouldn’t have them in our lives anyway. I know this is extreme but you never know what’s going to happen.

I have siblings there as well so not just my parents. I am heading towards stay where we are and stick out the quiet weekends until school starts then see how we go. I think it is a bit selfish of me to move when for our jobs and for DD’s own future where we live now is great. Going back home a bit like going back to the sticks and when they’re older they will probably end up moving away themselves. But then I also wonder how good it is for them to have a miserable mum!

I might keep an open mind and see if any houses I like come up back home and take it from there!

Sounds like it's important to you... so could be worthwhile. Provided relocation of jobs / DH / etc all on board, and affordable etc.
Sadly we had to move away from family because we couldn't afford the area and needed to be somewhere cheaper. It's a tough trade off.

not sure about this as if i had moved back home it would have made no difference to how i felt supported as my mother would have offered nothing or my sisters. I would have got wound up with my sisters and everyone else. I dont live to be around my sisters etc, i have lived away for years, i have a good network of friends and DC have enjoyed great life and good local schools. My OH wanted to move back home and I was not interested, I left a small town and wasnt returning to one.

I definitely would,to be fair I wouldn't have moved away from mine in the first place
Am really close to my family and love seeing the cousins all together

user1487194234 I had to move for work, we all did. Just making our way back a bit now it’s become more flexible.
I wouldn’t expect any childcare any babysitting a bonus, just more for the Craic really!

I recently made a move to be near my family after 15 years away in another country. It's been great and my dc and our family life/ social life has benefitted loads. It took a long time to convince my dh though so it's good your dh is on board. However we wouldn't have moved (my dh would've refused) if we were worse off financially. Luckily where we moved property was cheaper (but we have a much nicer house, in a nicer area with better schools), but we also were very fortunate that we got jobs that actually paid more than our previous ones so it worked out well. I only wish we'd have moved about 2 years earlier though as education system here more advanced (with grammar school system) and as dc is upper primary we've had to pay for tutoring to catch them up on where the other kids are.