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Original poster

Bought a house and honestly hate it!

69 replies

IndigoA · 07/08/2021 23:45

We spent months looking for the perfect house and to be honest we have ended up with quite possibly the worst house we could have found.

I’m so depressed our original house fell through and we bought this to meet stamp duty. We were living away from London at the time so didn’t explore the area and it’s rough and horrible. Miles from a tube and over priced.

The road is horrendous to look at. It’s only redeeming feature is the park next door. Help!!

What are my options?

I’m so devestates at the time of offering I was knee deep in iVF and had too much to thjnk about with that that I didn’t give this house the attention it needed! Now so depressed I can’t sleep.

OP posts:

LuluJakey1 · 07/08/2021 23:48

Where is it? What is it like inside? What is the garden like? How big are the rooms?

cherryadeisyummy · 08/08/2021 00:03

It's quite uncommon to feel unsettled when you've moved to a new house, especially understand the circumstances you've described.

How long have you been there? You need to take a few months to get your bearings really. If after 3 or so months you're still feeling like that, maybe then start to think about whether it was right or not. But most likely, you'll find it was just initial worry.

imnotsure1 · 08/08/2021 00:03

I think it's normal to have a wobble but it sounds like more than that for you. I do sympathise - we house hunted in lockdown, me and DH had to go and view separately so 10 mins alone to decide on the biggest purchase of our lives.

Are you in a position that you could accept a loss on it to sell and move on quickly? If not is there anything you can change inside to potentially add value or make more homely for you?

cherryadeisyummy · 08/08/2021 00:05

SOrry, it's quite common, not uncommon!

NewHouseNewMe · 08/08/2021 03:55

Are you seeing the area at its best right now? Rain, summer meaning open air BBQs and drinking etc? It might be you have forgotten what the summer in London is like if you have been living away.
If you can hint at the area, you might get some good local advice here too.

BasiliskStare · 08/08/2021 04:25

@IndigoA Our last house I cried when we bought it & 11 years later I cried when we left it. A park next door sounds great. How rough and horrible ? Is it really ? or as PPs have said a wobble. My advice would be to not do anything hasty. Make is as nice as you can and decide in time whether you want to move again. & you may get some advice from more local people if you could hint at the area
So not saying anything previous posters haven't.

I wish you well with the iVF x

Houserenoqueen · 08/08/2021 05:07

This was me last year and I made a similar post. Most people told me not to rush into selling. I was so lonely, commute was too long, high street too far away and there were impracticalities with the house that we hadn’t considered.
We are still here 18 months on and the only thing that will make us move is the house will be too small at some point. The impracticalities make it harder to live here than it should be, but otherwise I’m happy.
A mile from the tube isn’t tooo bad if you like the area. Want to tell us where you are?

Persipan · 08/08/2021 06:42

Is the area rough and horrible, or is it just London when you've got used to not-London?

And, apologies for the potentially sensitive question, but what's your family situation/where are you at in treatment/what's the likely future plan? I ask because, having spent years (and enormous sums of money) on fertility treatment, I know that it did impact my housing plans in various ways - including not wanting to spend chunks of money if I could avoid it, in case I needed them down the line for more treatment. (Which I did, repeatedly.) I also wonder whether this may be adding to your current depression - there are definitely a lot of ups and downs and hormonally it can really do a number on you. Obviously please feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but I might have different thoughts one way or another depending on your situation.

A park next door sounds really nice, so as redeeming features go that's a good one! My immediate thought is that you've had a lot going on, and it may take a while for the right plan to reveal itself.

Your options, really, are what the options always are: move, or not move and see what you can do to feel better about where you are. If you did want to move again, is it affordable to do so (factoring in stamp duty and all the associated costs)?

Original poster

IndigoA · 08/08/2021 09:20

Thanks so much for coming back to me. I’m in Walthamstow. Previously lived in Homerton so I’m used to rough but I think we have honestly picked one of the only roads that isn’t full of young families.

We chose the house for its huge south facing garden (huge for London) and to be honest be totally compromised on house. We had a tiny living room which we knocked one wall through and now it’s just one big open space so it feels like I’m always in the kitchen. There are no pockets for it to be cosy.

I’m actually pregnant now and the IVF worked just before we completed which is wonderful but I’m struggling to enjoy it at all becuase of how depressed I am about the house.

We only paid a little amount in stamp duty due to the discount we got. How quickly is reasonable to sell again? Given I’m due in February?

I just wanted to be somewhere j felt better connected rather than totally isolated. The park is lovely but honestly that’s really it! Nothing else around us. We are in an area called chapel end in Walthamstow and it’s a really not very nice area at all

OP posts:

user1471538283 · 08/08/2021 09:28

I would put it up for sale and move. From my limited experience you know if you are going to happy from the off.

Our last house I didnt have any feelings for and it was the worst experience of my life.

ohthejoysoftoddler · 08/08/2021 09:29

Oh no, I can understand why you are struggling.

I don't know the chapel end side of Walthamstow, but you do have lots of nice things near you that you can walk to at least. And I know the Mum and baby 'scene' is strong in Walthamstow, so you'll have lots of options for good baby groups and meet ups.

ohthejoysoftoddler · 08/08/2021 09:30

Walthamstow is such a mixed bag

Allthelights · 08/08/2021 09:31

How long have you lived there? Sometimes you have to give it some time.

DinosaurDiana · 08/08/2021 09:32

You need to either move now, before baby arrives, or commit to staying for a couple of years. But don’t jump from one house you hate to another, it has to be the right move.
Forget the house you missed out on, it wasn’t meant to be.

Original poster

IndigoA · 08/08/2021 09:38

We have only been here since June. I have read lots that you can’t sell for 6 months before lenders won’t lend or the same house twice in such a short time. It’s all such a mess I wish we had a house we loved to welcome this baby isn’t not one that I hate walking up to every day. Thanks so much for your help though. I have booked and antenatal house to hopefully meet other mums. I just can’t believe I got something so important so wrong

OP posts:

catwithflowers · 08/08/2021 09:41

No advice really but congratulations on your pregnancy 😊 💐

Persipan · 08/08/2021 09:47

One thing I would say about pregnancy (and parenting a new baby) after infertility/IVF is that it can be particularly difficult to feel that everything isn't wonderful, because it's something you've wanted for so long. There's a particular pressure to it that's often unhelpful because if anything isn't perfect, you can then end up feeling bad about feeling bad and it can lead to a bit of a crash, emotionally. Just something to factor in, and be kind to yourself about. Big congratulations on your pregnancy!

user1487194234 · 08/08/2021 09:49

A lot of lenders won't lend on a house that has only been owned for 6 months
So you be limiting your buying pool
Could you settle on sitting it out for 6 months and see how you feel

changingstages · 08/08/2021 09:54

ah OP that's EXACTLY where I used to live - DP had a house there when I met him and we moved in together, his kids went to Chapel End primary (which was ok, to be fair). But I hated the area. Hated hated hated it. It was a nice house and if we'd stayed we could have sold it for a small fortune (we moved out in 2010) but I don't regret leaving. I do know people who liked it, and there's a community vibe in parts which is really nice but I just hated it so much.

SheWoreYellow · 08/08/2021 09:54

Have you managed to make the house look nice? Unpacked properly and redecorated if you needed? If you have then maybe you’ll never like it.
If you haven’t done those things then it’s worth trying.
It’s not a now or never, you could aim to move in a year or two?

Onandoff · 08/08/2021 10:20

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I had a bereavement while selling/buying and in retrospect my brain was not in the right place. We had 2 purchases fall through and in retrospect the 2nd house wouldn’t have been right at all. If we’d bought that I would have wanted to move very quickly. I sympathise.
With pregnancy hormones you might also find this isn’t the best time to move. But on the flip side some lenders will lend less when in mat leave pay. What does your partner feel about the house?
Can it be beautified and extended or would it still not be right / not get back the value?
Have you found an area you want to / are able to move to?

Original poster

IndigoA · 08/08/2021 10:34

My partner is saying it’s not a perfect house but it’s only for a year and then we can move so let’s just get on with it. He’s agreed to move in a year but won’t discuss it any further.

We are decorating and it is looking far nicer I’m just concerned we are now wasting money on something I just know I’m never going to be happy in if that makes sense.

We are putting an office at the end of the garden next month to hopefully add value when we sell but there isn’t really anymore we can do. It’s a tiny box house but already extended if that makes sense.

The loft has been done and the ceilings are so low it’s claustrophobic.

It’s crazy I don’t know how the hell I didn’t notice any of these things.

OP posts:

C8H10N4O2 · 08/08/2021 10:43

I would sit tight for the moment. You have a lot going on in life already, your DH is right - review the situation in a year or so.

A decent south facing garden, garden office and loft conversion (even with low ceilings) will always be saleable in that part of London. Decorate to suit yourself and review the area and situation next Autumn when hopefully you will be settled as a family with a new baby.

Persipan · 08/08/2021 10:49

One possible upside to waiting a bit until you move is that you can learn what works/doesn't work for you once baby arrives, and then that can inform your onward search. You may find that your priorities shift a bit in terms of what you want, and you'd then be in a great position to look for something that will definitely work for you at that point, rather than what your currently imagine will work.

Allthelights · 08/08/2021 10:56

I would wait two years or so if you can manage it. That allows you to get into a routine with your baby and see if the house or area grow on you. If not you can consider moving then.

I didn’t like my house when I moved in (not a dodgy area just teeny tiny) and I was looking at rightmove the night I moved in. I am still here four years on and planning to move in a year or two.

One thing I would say is make a decision and try to accept it. Don’t keep looking at other houses and dreaming. It makes you dissatisfied.

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