How many big rows do you have during the buying/selling process?

Eggnoggoanngoanngoann · 06/08/2021 20:52

Buying selling at mo. No one is signing anything so technically have bought and sold...but actually havent really done anything as its all just verbal. We are just kind of ignoring it all. I keep asking DH if he has spoke to solicitor..he just keeps saying ..yeah its all good. Think best advice is to pretend its not happening and let solicitors sort it all out. Good luck hope ot all works out for both of us.

Original poster

Hungry675tf · 06/08/2021 20:57

Thank you for the reply. Hope it all goes ok for you.

That sounds ideal in theory, but the solicitors can't apply for the right mortgage, book the removals or sort the kids school move out. Then there is the endless back and forth of enquiries. It always feels like there is something to be done or discussed

OP posts:

Iamsodonewith2020 · 06/08/2021 21:30

A good way to reduce arguments is not leave the mortgage application to DH. 6 weeks after making an offer our solicitor ( who is a friend) said “ erm any chance you could get your Hubbie to contact mortgage company as we really need the paperwork”. I am still livid 8 weeks later as we could have exchanged by now but still waiting on valuation survey! There are no words!!

Eggnoggoanngoanngoann · 06/08/2021 21:33

No mortgage as the lovely government ommitted to tell self employed that if they applied for coronavirus grant to keep business afloat during lockdown then ot made you uneligable for a mortgage . Am now in middle of releasing pensions and havong to pay 25% tax on money i have already paid tax on to pay for new house. So will prob pay more in tax than claimed in grants. Havent even thought about the actual move or all the stuff that follows yet. Groan. Yes v stressful. Find a large pillow to scream into. I feel your pain!!!

MissFritton65 · 06/08/2021 22:05

@Hungry675tf

Asking for a friend 🙄

We never usually row. Normally communicate really well. It is so stressful though. Feeling quite despondent about it all.

Tell me I'm not the only one?

See you and raise you; try a renovation project. We rarely argue but we buy a project and it's World War III!

Original poster

Hungry675tf · 06/08/2021 22:36

@eggnoggoanngoanngoann that is awful

Thank you all, I felt quite alone with it tonight and had no one to talk to about it. I find the arguments hard to deal with. Its just unrelentingly stressful!!

OP posts:

MissFritton65 · 06/08/2021 23:01

Hopefully it will work out as you are both wanting a better "life" for you all so comprise is the key
However it's not easy but comprise.

MissFritton65 · 06/08/2021 23:02

Just talk it through

Scbchl · 06/08/2021 23:05

We haven't argued about it but I'm getting on my husbands nerves talking about it and he's getting on my nerves not giving a fuck and leaving everything to me. We complete on Wednesday though so thankfully almost over. One of the most stressful things ever.

Twobirdsinatree · 06/08/2021 23:06

Aye we nearly got divorced. Every time we have moved house we've had massive rows... I think also because we seem to randomly ahve always ended moving house in midwinter which is a difficult time for both of us emotionally anyway... and twice I've been heavily pregnant during a house move...
Its a wonder we are still together!!
But we rarely argue when we aren't moving house. Its so stressful...
And buying is so stressful! It did a number on both of us.
We love one another and have been together a very long time but buying a house tested us lol! Was less stressed having babies!!

Scbchl · 06/08/2021 23:06

@Eggnoggoanngoanngoann we started the process 7 months ago as my dh took the seiss grants but we complete on Wednesday. There is options but you need to of not taken the last grant and business accounts be back to normal. Halifax accepted us.

Eggnoggoanngoanngoann · 06/08/2021 23:31

Oooh @scbchl thanks for the info. Might give the a try b4 releasing pension funds. Ta x

lazyakita · 07/08/2021 08:55

We don't usually argue, but during moving process it has been awful :( About once a month we have a massive row. We are due to complete in 3-4 weeks and it can't come soon enough. Our last proper row really had an impact on my confidence. Hopefully once we are settled it will mean we can talk things through better. I feel for you!

Original poster

Hungry675tf · 07/08/2021 09:36

@lazyakita

We don't usually argue, but during moving process it has been awful :( About once a month we have a massive row. We are due to complete in 3-4 weeks and it can't come soon enough. Our last proper row really had an impact on my confidence. Hopefully once we are settled it will mean we can talk things through better. I feel for you!

I can completely relate to this, thank you for posting and sorry you are going through it too. It has made me question everything, which has been hard. We are similar re timescales but I wonder whether it will actually happen. Fx it settles after the move!!

OP posts:

Heronwatcher · 07/08/2021 17:16

Haha after we had moved I thought that I might have a terminal illness I was so exhausted having sorted literally everything, from valuation, offer, instructing solicitors, survey, new schools, removals, literally every single thing (in fairness my partner didn’t really want to move and I also picked the house). Then a week after we moved in he dared ask me what the postcode of our house was, when he had been copied into a gazillion emails with the address on. Then couldn’t understand why I went completely mental.
Seriously OP it is meant to be about the third most stressful thing you can do apart from getting divorced or the death of a close relative, don’t worry, it’s hell for everyone!

SpeakingFranglais · 08/08/2021 08:15

None.

Because I took control and he left me to it.

His busy, important job meant he couldn’t be bothered with trivial things like a house move 🙄

BlueMongoose · 08/08/2021 20:44

@SpeakingFranglais

None.

Because I took control and he left me to it.

His busy, important job meant he couldn’t be bothered with trivial things like a house move 🙄

I think it was an American humourist many years ago who once said, talking about the division of labour between husbands and wives, that husbands decided all the important things, like who ought to be president and whether the country should go to war or not, whilst wives decided the unimportant things, like where they lived and where the kids went to school, etc. ( I paraphrase, it was funnier the way he said it, must try to remember who it was so I can look it up.)

lazyakita · 10/08/2021 16:22

@Hungry675tf Yes, same here! I'm constantly second guessing myself. My OH insisted this be a "forever home" as he hates moving, but it's meant I've felt so pressured to find something perfect. I'm stressed most of the time. Fingers crossed for all of us that it's all over soon and then we can have arguments about something else (laugh/cry emoji!)

@Heronwatcher I feel for you! I've organised valuations, cleaned the house for photos and every viewing, found the property we are buying, have dealt with EAs, solicitors, removals, home insurance quotes, survey... the list goes on! I'm not surprised you felt I'll at all. Thanks for saying it's the same for everyone, it gives me some comfort that I haven't lost my mind!

TokyoSushi · 10/08/2021 16:24

With DH, none. With the estate agent, the solicitor, the mortgage company, the surveyor, the solicitor again - too many to count!