I have broken my chain....Moving on Monday

[areyouhavingagiraffe]

Hi guys, I've posted here before about my situation. Essentially I put my apartment on the market in March, it got quite a few offers. Then did the house hunt when things were manic (in April), it was horrendous as the market was mental. Anyway, found a house I liked, but unfortunately I withdrew my offer about a week ago. The searches threw up various issues (including illegal loft conversion). It started causing me sleepless nights and I was worried I was overpaying and it would be problematic to sell later down the line. I have also been through the selling process of my apartment and it was not easy; leasehold properties take so much longer, and lenders are always changing their criteria. Coupled with things like service charges, ground rent, all of these things start being raised at the legal stage and could scare a buyer. I also worry about the changing guidance on EWS for flats (although I don't have cladding or balconies). Anyway, I have exchanged contracts on my sale but withdrawn from purchase. I didn't want to lose my buyer and I sold for more than I expected and after all the stress of the selling process I just wanted to press on.
I will be leaving my apartment on Monday as that's when we are completing. I have mixed feelings about going, I love my little place, but it's awful in the Summer coupled with all the sleepless nights as going through the sale on a leasehold property. I will be moving in with folks for a bit. I am pretty close to them but I am concerned they will drive me mental, ha ha. However am trying to think of the positives, they have a big house so lots of room, I can store my furniture in the outbuilding, doesn't affect commute to work etc and it's just me (no husband or kids etc). I am a bit concerned it will impact the great relationship I have with them as I have not lived with them for 16yrs so will be hard. Dunno why I am posting really, just looking for words of wisdom....
In terms of house purchase, I will be in a good position as will be chain free. I could start to look straight away but I may take a few weeks off. I dunno if market is still crazy but I'm not in any crazy rush now, unlike earlier this year !!!! Like I say so many mixed feelings about leaving, but trying to remember it is not a backward step, just a stepping stone

That actually sounds really positive action on your part
You'll be in a great place to buy ( if it was me, I'd look immediately, but I'm that kind of person!) and a cash purchase puts you in such a strong position.
You've you great reasons for selling now ( and not buying the dodgy property) and it will all come right in due course. Good luck!

It was a lovely house too, but it wasn't "the one". I do keep thinking whether I will find anything like that, maybe some regret, but like I said it was also causing me sleepless nights worrying about the issues, and it wasn't even my house

Thanks @FuzzyPuffling. I will still need mortgage but I have valid offer until end of October, will need the application changed. But yes, I will have a significant amount of cash!

On the relationship with your parents, if you immediately treat it like an adult house share then they won't be able to treat you like a child. Offer to share bills and chores, pay rent etc. I've noticed with adult friends who have moved back in with parents that it falls down where the child expects parents to be parents again with washing, cooking etc and then gets miffed when the parents ask where they're going or try and set ground rules for a teenager.

You will find something better. Think of yourself in 1,2,5 years time. In a house you really like ( nothing is completely perfect in my experience!) and are adding to, and not in a house with a dodgy loft you are worrying about!

Great point @Xiaoxiong. I keep thinking "omg I am 43 and moving in with mum and dad", but it's not permanent. Trouble is, that they won't take any money from me! But I can do the shopping, chores etc so will defo help out.

You'll be reet. You're in a great position not having to get into the rental world that is AWFUL right now, in south England anyway. Good luck!

It’s a great position to be in. No rent or payment for storage might mean you can save more. They might also be glad of the company for a while at least, if they’ve been alone during lockdowns. Just make sure you don’t spend the proceeds of your sale!

You’ll find what you are looking for soon enough, I bet. Good luck!

@areyouhavingagiraffe I was in a similar position - moving back in with parents in between house purchases. Between one things and another, I was there longer than we all anticipated. I get on really well with my parents (and still do!) but with hindsight, I would suggest getting a few things straight right away. I didn’t think I would be there long enough for this to make a difference, but you just never know:

• pay rent/board. Even if it is a token amount, even if your parents don’t want it. There will be a bigger water bill, or electricity bill and someone will mutter about long showers etc, by paying something, you are offsetting this. I never wanted them to lose money by me staying there, even if they didn’t want to ‘make’ money off me
• sort out meals. We ran into trouble with my mother wanting me to call if I wasn’t going to be home for dinner so she wouldn’t cook to include me, whereas I was used to being able to decide to go for an afterwork drink at a moments notice, and not have to call home. I said many, many times I would always cook for myself, but it is easy to fall into eating together and cooking together
• have one (or more?) nights a week where you cook or bring home takeaway. My mother appreciated the throughfulness ofthe night off
• sort out food. I felt I couldn’t buy my own food and therefore couldn’t take my own lunches to work. Weird, but I wish we had talked about this and worked it out.
• sort out laundry. We did discuss this, and I kept all mine separate (and did it myself, including sheets) and bought my own washing powder etc. There was a disagreement over who used the last washing poster and whose weekend was ruined by having to go into town to buy more. After that I kept a spare stash too! towels were combined, simply because it was easier to do a load with all of them.
• socialising. This was before COVID, but the generally I always socialised outside the house, and never had people over. It wasn’t hard - I could always go out or to friend’s places or restaurants. I think this minimised a lot of tensions, as it respected their home and noise etc.
• I used my own phone and Internet
• days off - I gave them notice of any days off that I intended to be home for, as a courtesy.

There were some tensions, but on the whole it worked. Good luck!