Getting over house disappointment - what next?

[dinkydino123]

Hi everyone

After a long and horrible house hunt (it is very competitive where we are and prices went through the roof after Covid) we finally had an offer accepted on somewhere at the end of April. We are FTB and it was top of our budget but it ticked all the boxes and was a house we could've stayed in for years. We also didn't get dragged into a bidding war as the house was marketed discretely. Anyway, offer accepted, mortgage approved, solicitors appointed, survey arranged. The sellers were buying an end of chain place. So far, so good. Then in mid-June the sellers changed their minds and pulled out.

I am finding it quite hard to get over it. We've seen absolutely nothing that even comes close to this house and I can't stop thinking about it, even though I know it is unhelpful and there is nothing we can do about it! Trying to tell myself that it wasn't meant to be, but having a hard time believing it.

Would love to hear from people who have been in the same position and how things worked out for them - please give me hope!!

Oh I'm so sorry this has happened to you!

We had the same in so far as we sold our house after a week on the market, then found a brilliant house and had an offer accepted 3 weeks later. Vendor then pulled that house a month later as she couldn't find an onward purchase.

I would love to tell you a story full of sunshine but I can only provide solidarity- I've just had a phone call saying we've missed out on another property through best and finals. This is the 4th one since losing our original house. It's all a bit rubbish especially as that was the only suitable house on the market. Nothing really seems to be coming on.

Sending positive vibes that your dream house emerges soon, keep the faith in the meantime. What's for you won't pass you and all that jazz

I understand completely, we were in your position in january. The sellers pulled out, I was crushed and we pulles oyt of our own house sale as nothing else up we wanted and didnt want to rent, but after a month trying to be happy in our house we knew it wasnt right, so went up for sale again. I really struggled comparing all houses but we found our current house (moved in 1 month ago) which though it has 1 less bedroom, it has a bigger plot, bigger garden, not overlooked, better location and a nicer kitchen. We sold for more as well second time, it was hell going through it, but we certainly count ourselves lucky, though at the time we felt so so down and stuck.

I'd be careful not to magnify the house you lost too much- it's easy to build up your ideas of a place to far better than it actually was when you've been disappointed. I think I'd force myself to work out and be honest about all its disadvantages (all houses have them) to get a sense of balance, so that I didn't get so invested in the impossible house I lost that nothing I viewed in the future could measure up to it. Even make a list of them.
Unless a house has something very unusual about it that is genuinely unique and necessary to the buyer, or was ridiculously cheap (and there is usually a bad, bad reason for houses being cheap) there will be others as good coming up out there, just different, though I appreciate some places have fast rising prices- that's something which may not last, though.
I do appreciate how hard this can be, as I have been there, and really hope something turns up for you.

Another one standing with you in your disappointment. Had our offer accepted and even got as far as discussing with the vendor what plants/pots and other stuff she was happy to leave behind.
24 hours later she took a higher offer.
We are still looking . Wishing you lots of luck!

The disappointment is dreadful. Our buyers fell through last year and we were given two days to find new buyers (was never going to happen). It felt absolutely horrible - I'd already chosen the new furniture we needed and how I was going to decorate. We got buyers a few weeks later though and found a much, much nicer property. All the things we thought were 'must haves' about the property meant we accepted a lot of downsides (smaller garden, not great kitchen). For our next onward purchase I really didn't let myself get too attached.

We had a buyer for our house and the house we were buying has massive issues so we pulled out and could find anything else we liked so had to pull out of our sale.

Our buyers had said if anything changes to let them know as they were still interested.

Fast forward a month or so and another property we'd need interested in which had sold came back on the market. Luckily our buyers still were wanting to proceed. So we are pushing forward- 🤞🏼 it works out this time x

Hope it does for you xx

This happened to us - the vendors decided not to sell after messing us around for 3 months, and post survey, for “personal reasons”. I was devastated and we struggled to find anything else even worth going to look at for over a month, although luckily we had a patient cash buyer. Then a much better house but cheaper house suddenly came on the market, which we basically got due to being ready to go with a solicitor and cash buyer already in place. We’re living there 5 years later and are so glad that the first house didn’t work out.

This has happened to us 4 times since October!I think it is the state of the market. We are much less emotionally involved now and think practically when viewing instead of with our hearts.

I’m on my third house. First the seller didn’t find a house to buy so after almost three months I pulled out (house has since been withdrawn from the market), second one my solicitor moved heaven and earth to get everything done to make stamp duty only for seller to pull out due to health reasons, and now I’m on third, chain free house.
Ive spent almost £5000 in fees and surveys, lost £12,500 not making stamp duty deadline and spent another £5k in temporary housing, and then there’s storage fees and so on.
But the house I’m buying is probably the best of the three, and cheapest, so I’m really really hoping it happens (hoping to exchange and complete this week).

@Livingintheclouds good luck to you, we are hoping to do the same next Tuesday!

@Livingintheclouds fingers crossed it all get sorted for you super smoothly this week with no more dramas!

You are in a really good position to start looking again. This happened to us too, convinced we had found the one. And got out bid. Estate agents knew we were keen and ready to go so we were first on list to view the one we've now bought. It's a much better fit for us.

The first house came back on the market again - don't know what happened. Still walk past it and new owners have had lots of work done. Lots of messing around with the chimneys from the look of it.

Dodged a bullet there I think.

I've recently missed out on somewhere I fell in love with. But I really think the right one will come along.

I pushed and pushed for my last hours and I spent the most miserable 17 months there and lost a fortune.