Am I just being lazy or is my landlord taking the piss?

[Sarz1991]

Hi so long story short, I am 10 weeks out of a long term relationship and currently living in a beautiful massive house out in the countryside shared with the landlord 4 others, with the last 6 weeks. Up until during the week I have been so happy living here as everyone is very friendly including the landlord. However I have noticed that she does sort of use one of the tenants living here. She also can bitch about the other tenants too. She is a 22 Yr old college student who like my landlord likes a njce tidy house as do I. However this particular girl has been washing and drying the landlords clothes and the landlord just let's her do it. But anyway it all came to a head where the landlord had placed the hoover and cleaning products in the bathroom during the week as a hint for one of us to clean it. Then she proceeded the more or less say when she thought I didnt hear, that its more a woman job to clean the bathroom more than a man, implying that I should be doing it over the 2 guys living here ( me and 2 others guys share the bathroom downstairs, the landlord and other girl use the bathroom upstairs, but they both use the toilet when downstairs). Now just to clarify, I have cleaned the bathroom twice since I've been here and I've hoovered the downstairs floors and always keep the kitchen clean. Plus I work full time BUT my landlord has taken a redundancy package from here so has been off the last 2 weeks. But I always get the feeling that she expects me or the rest of us to be doing most of the cleaning even though she lives here a lot of the time and is not currently working. Now just to clarify again I am not lazy, I came from a relationship with 3 kids so I always liked to keep a clean house even if it wasn't always sparkling like my landlords but I know what is clean and what isn't. It also annoyed me this morning ( I had a day off), and I had just hoovered my room, and I was about to put it back where I got it when she passed and said to leave it out because the floors were dirty any needed to be cleaned. And then she left with her 19 month old daughter to go somewhere, and I kind of felt that she was hoping that I would hoover the downstairs. But I didn't because I do feel there is not much give and take with her. For eg I usually empty the dishwasher in the morning before I go to work so she usually never has to do it, but then I had cooked bacon in a saucepan the night before and I was planning on cleaning it the next day after I got back from work, but the saucepan had been put into the sink but not washed at all, even though I had emptied the dishwasher. So I really am not lazy and I always clean up after myself but I am not been taken advantage of either especially when I'm the one giving her 100 weekly, she is not working at all and I am working full time. So do I need to up my cleaning game a bit more or is ot OK what I'm doing? Also regarding the bathroom incident, it definitely was in need of a clean but I had gone back home to my parents the previous weekend and thought it's her house, she's going to be there so why can't she do it! So it wasn't done and of course I would have cleaned it if it hadn't been cleaned but she is living there most of the time.

Wow, she’s taking the piss big time especially with the other tenant. She’s trying to use you as a communal cleaner and nanny, nothing wrong with either of those professions but last time I looked those roles aren’t those of a paying tenant.

Pull her up on it and be prepared to find somewhere else to move too - she’s a CF. She needs to be told though and you need to have a word with the other one doing her laundry.

Though personally I would have washed up the saucepan immediately- no need to leave it in the sink.

if this is more like a house share / lodger arrangement, there should either be a paid cleaner, or a cleaning rota agreed by everyone (including the male tennants).

Good idea to get a cleaner in, but they'd probably need to come every day so it could work out expensive.

2 things spring to mind.

The fact she is currently not working shouldn't immediately mean she should do the cleaning. A fairer way (communal areas) is to divide the work between the number of bodies, incl babies & children. Then each adult is responsible for whatever % they amount to (incl their own children).

Do you pay market rate rent?

What other housemates do/do not do for your landlord is none of your business.

Your landlord's work hours are irrelevant to your contribution and have nothing to do with you.

You say you clean up after yourself, but your description suggests otherwise. You left your dirty pot in the kitchen overnight and the whole of the next day and expected your LL to wash up after you. You've cleaned the bathroom twice in the last six weeks, and unless this is how often you'd clean it if you lived alone, you're expecting others to clean up after you in the meantime. You hoovered your room and left the communal areas, like an entitled teenager. How old are you?

This all sounds so petty and exhausting. Everyone, including the LL, needs to draw up a fair housework rota, never mention cleaning again, or risk dying of boredom.

Sit down with everyone and work out a rota to avoid unnecessary resentment and drama.

Typical students-house sharing issues. It has always been like this and always will.

Co-living usually involves frictions and you need to learn to sort it out. Clear communication, clear expectations from the start about cleaning, responsibilities and who pays for what etc are needed. Draw up Rita’s, write it down and then be willing to do a bit more than your share and to show a degree of flexibility.

Tricky if LL is also a teenager/early 20s student not used to living independently or co-living too.

Avoid falling out and deciding you hate each other/taking umbrage over little things….you’ve got to live together for a while, so make it work.