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Original poster

How do you deal with nosey people when selling?

29 replies

redpickle · 15/06/2021 13:03

We went on the market a few weeks ago and not had the best start to be honest (only 1 viewing) and feeling generally disappointed but not much activity in the area in the last few weeks following a mad market in recent months. Anyway, since listing I've had friends, neighbours and acquaintances (and random strangers) asking all sorts of prying questions. I can understand it from neighbours as it has some kind of bearing on their house value but I'm find it exhausting from everyone else. I've even had people literally asking how many viewings we've had, any second viewings?, what offers and how much as well as comments about things they've seen in the photos. It's making me dread the school run. Yesterday, I was quite clearly changing the subject but the guy wouldn't let it go. I don't generally talk about my finances to the world so I don't see why this is any different and I would certainly never ask this level of detail!
Any advice on how to deal with it?

OP posts:
Dinosauraddict · 15/06/2021 13:10

Get used to it would be my main advice. We genuinely had 2 families from DS' nursery ring and pretend to be buyers to come and view the house (we found out afterwards when they were discussing at pick up). All the neighbours (and others) clearly did the video tour of our house at the least as they made comments about what we'd done to the place. And asking about viewings/interest can be put down to friendly and supportive conversation.

BarkingUpTheWrongRoseBush · 15/06/2021 13:18

Unless your home is v beautiful and unusual or a complete tip - it is a bit weird for people to be mentioning it.

We had a really good look at the house next to us when it went up - and were shocked at the state of it the pictures showed it looked like a dosshouse even though the owners looked completely respectable.

But get used to it. People are nosey. You could try 'I hate talking about it - it's such a process - can we change the subject?'

readytosell · 15/06/2021 13:20

Yeah I'd second getting used to it, although I can't say it bothers me too much personally. It can help other people who may be thinking of selling or buying to get an idea of what the process is like and how the market is at the moment. I chat to my neighbours, friends, family, colleagues quite happily enough about it.

memberofthewedding · 15/06/2021 13:27

I dont mind your asking impertinent personal questions so long as you dont mind my not answering them!

I find that pretty much a conversation killer with nosy folks.

Original poster
redpickle · 15/06/2021 13:29

It's not a complete tip by any means, it's actually really well presented. I guess I'm just a really private person and don't want to discuss my bedroom with "Jack's Dad" in the playground. He was asking so many questions literally about our income and budget for the new place, what would we accept etc. I advised him to book a viewing via the agent if he's interested in the house but all the other info was between us and our bank. Then I felt a bit rude!
I just find it odd. We all have a nosey on Rightmove but we don't let on what details we've observed, surely?Maybe people in my village are all stalkers. Or maybe the fact it's a village is the key!
I think I will say, "I'm sick of thinking about it and would rather not discuss it". Thanks

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 15/06/2021 13:31

Just general chit chat surely?

Leigh8721 · 15/06/2021 13:38

I think it's just chat I don't see any harm we have sold recently and think its a general questions how many viewing have you had etc. In my honest opinion it comes as part of it and your being a bit uptight about the whole thing. If you don't like discussing it why come online to discuss it

Roselilly36 · 15/06/2021 13:46

I totally agree with you OP, we moved in Feb people are just so nosy about property. I wouldn’t dream of asking questions, but most are like your house is on the market, it’s open season, tell us all your business!

Original poster
redpickle · 15/06/2021 13:49

Erm because this is an anonymous forum about buying/selling. You don't know me and I don't know you. It's a bit different being asked about your finances by a school dad in a public space. Surely you see that.
Chit chat is one thing, I'm just asking for advice about how to deal with people who overstep.
God, excuse me for posting!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 15/06/2021 14:00

Some people just don’t see the questions they’re asking as nosy, I suppose. I don’t mind talking about my mortgage, what I’ve done to the inside of my house and how much it cost etc, so I’d probably ask others if I was interested.

I think Barking’s response that you’re sick of the whole selling process and would rather change the subject is the best tac. Firm without being rude.

FlowerArranger · 15/06/2021 14:08

2 things:
Deflect any nosy questions. Be vague. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
Develop a thicker skin. Selling the home you presumably love(d) can be a disheartening process*. Focus on the price - your next home.

(* I remember the first people who came to view our first home. I cleaned, bought flowers, roasted coffee, etc - the works. The minute they walked through the door I knew they were timewasters - nosy nearby neighbours Angry...)

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 15/06/2021 14:18

Erm because this is an anonymous forum about buying/selling. You don't know me and I don't know you. It's a bit different being asked about your finances by a school dad in a public space. Surely you see that.
Chit chat is one thing, I'm just asking for advice about how to deal with people who overstep.
God, excuse me for posting!

If that was directed at me, I just meant it's just people making conversation, don't answer them if you don't want to but your response to my post tells me you are a bit snippy and possibly taking what people say wrongly.

Good luck with the moveSmile

YellowFish12 · 15/06/2021 14:29

I find it so strange when people are coy about how much they paid for their house. It’s like… you know I can just look it up on Land Registry/ RM ?!

GappyValley · 15/06/2021 14:48

@YellowFish12

I find it so strange when people are coy about how much they paid for their house. It’s like… you know I can just look it up on Land Registry/ RM ?!
Yes, agreed!

Our next door neighbour (adjoining part of a semi) sold earlier this year
We were remortgaging and I knew the surveyor would ask what we thought it was worth, so I called the agent to ask what it sold for
They refused to tell me as it was ‘confidential’
Literally 3 days later, the sold price was up on Rightmove, and for £3, I could have got it the same day from the Land Registry site

I know which agent to avoid when we come to sell though

Original poster
redpickle · 15/06/2021 15:25

Yeah I agree on that. I don't mind saying what we paid after the event but I'm not going to tell every random who asks what's the lowest we will go when selling, that would be stupid. Especially in my village

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 15/06/2021 15:27

I guess for some it's a new conversation topic

Wanderergirl · 15/06/2021 16:39

For some people property ownership and spending every penny on it is the ultimate goal/activity in their lifetime. It’s an ultimate validation of success for them. Hence they want to relate and hear some details, so they can have those “investment” conversations at dinner, comparing their house to yours, comparing how bigger their garden etc. Comparing how much they could ask for theirs and then convince themselves that they are doing so much better than you. And can afford so much more. Basically for gossip and self assurance reasons. Because never would I ever care how’s my neighbours/school parents house sale is going. I don’t think I would have time for it Smile

Superdoopersoup · 15/06/2021 19:41

I am considering selling my house, but I don't want my neighbours to see interior pictures of it.

Years ago, a colleague sold his house and he did so without internal pictures. It sold quite quickly, though being in a student area may have helped.

More recently a neighbour didn't have a for sale board up. But I knew it was for sale when I was on Rightmove checking sale prices (and interiors 😉) to check what my house might be worth.

Are most people unwilling to view a house if it doesn't have any interior pictures? Would you think it must be the house from hell otherwise?

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/06/2021 20:03

@Superdoopersoup

I am considering selling my house, but I don't want my neighbours to see interior pictures of it.

Years ago, a colleague sold his house and he did so without internal pictures. It sold quite quickly, though being in a student area may have helped.

More recently a neighbour didn't have a for sale board up. But I knew it was for sale when I was on Rightmove checking sale prices (and interiors 😉) to check what my house might be worth.

Are most people unwilling to view a house if it doesn't have any interior pictures? Would you think it must be the house from hell otherwise?

No interior photos = doss house, squatters, awkward tenants who won’t allow access and may refuse to move out, condition so terrible that monotone their right mind would want to see anything more than the exterior. Market mostly limited to seasoned investors who want to buy low, do up and sell on or rent out.

Maybe I’m odd, but I’m pretty proud of my furniture and decor and artwork and think I have great style - I’m all too happy to have people see and admire it! I can understand if you’re a hoarder or embarrassed by your shabby house not wanting neighbours to see it, but presumably all that would need sorting before viewings anyway.

DappledThings · 15/06/2021 21:52

No interior photos = doss house, squatters, awkward tenants who won’t allow access and may refuse to move out, condition so terrible that monotone their right mind would want to see anything more than the exterior. Market mostly limited to seasoned investors who want to buy low, do up and sell on or rent out.

All of this. I wouldn't view a house without any interior photos. Why are you so bothered about your neighbours seeing your furniture? Yes they will probably look at Rightmove but what's the big deal?

Andthenanothercupoftea · 15/06/2021 22:14

It's probably just idle chit chat, same way as when you're pregnant people suddenly seem to think it's acceptable to ask questions about your birth plan, if you plan to breastfeed, tell you you're too big/too small for how far along you are etc. (Can you tell I'm pregnant!!)

We're quite lucky that most people just ask a quick "how's the sale coming along" - unfortunately for them we've had a nightmare with a flakey buyer so they may get more than they bargained for if I want a rant!!

I agree the income question seems a bit much. And the people from nursery viewing, that's just weird!!

PixieKitten · 15/06/2021 22:21

We didn't have a for sale sign, neighbour's didn't know the house was for sale. EA's all said over 90% of traffic comes via RightMove now

CharlieAteThePies · 15/06/2021 23:49

I think a prepared answer of "goodness, it's such a crazy process nowadays selling and buying" to any house selling question posed works. You're answering a different question to the one asked, which should baffle the questioner as you change the topic entirely.

I think curiosity is natural though. I wouldn't ask someone directly, but I always look up property listings, planning applications and sold prices for my neighbourhood. I like to know the local market.

This post just prompted me to look up a neighbour's recent sold price. I'm actually quite shocked about how much they got for their house. About 15-20% more than it was worth just before Covid!!

Escapetothecatshome · 16/06/2021 17:32

I’ve moved over 7 times in the last 4 years and know exactly what you mean, as quite a private person it can be quite intrusive everyone nosing through your house without actually having to stepped through the door.
I finally had enough when the local farmer started asking questions about the house, I found the best answer was “ Really how do you know that ? Are you moving ?

That shut him up

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 16/06/2021 17:48

not sure. I don't think you can.

we had a horrible mother & son "couple" for neighbours for years. they were vile, spiteful and everyone hated them.
when they put their house up for sale almost everyone on the street booked ie