Help me get over the house that got away (my fault)

flashbac · 2021-06-14T21:50:57+00:00

Every day I think about the house that got away. All entirely my fault. It was on market since September. Needs gutting and complete renovation so I thought the price was too high and was biding my time. Then the stamp duty extension was announced and things went mad and it went SSTC. Estate agents were also a bit slimy so communications before this were tricky and not straightforward. Now I'm hating myself for being such an idiot. Do you ever get over the one that got away?

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/06/2021 22:52

Aw. Maybe you'll find an even better one?

Stopsnowing · 14/06/2021 22:52

It wasn’t meant to be. Would have been a money pit.

Skengman · 14/06/2021 22:55

Building costs are ridiculously high and set to stay that way.

It would've been a money pit and a nightmare.

Trust your gut.

SinkGirl · 14/06/2021 22:56

Give it time! We saw a similar house last year and weren’t on the market yet - agents wouldn’t even let us view and it went to SSTC.

Recently reappeared on the market six months later. So who knows, maybe it will fall through.

Original poster

flashbac · 14/06/2021 22:58

Just to add, my head is still saying no but my heart is full of regret. I have found something else but why do I keep thinking about this other one! Yes it had charm, 4 beds and 2 reception rooms but the garden was dark, they will probably build houses on the field across the road at some point (it keeps getting rejected for now) but yeah, it would have meant waiting 6 months to a year for the renovations and, with building materials and labour in short supply, it would have been a nightmare.
I just wish I could flipping forget about it and stop beating myself about it!

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lboogy · 14/06/2021 23:00

Can you post a link of the house? I'm nosey lol

PracticingPerson · 14/06/2021 23:03

I am the same about a house we missed by a matter of days, it is hard to forget!

Original poster

flashbac · 14/06/2021 23:34

@lboogy

Can you post a link of the house? I'm nosey lol

Only if mumsnet had disappearing posts. It's too outing I reckon! Me too on the nosy front!

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QueenStromba · 15/06/2021 08:19

Getting work done is a complete nightmare at the moment, you're well off out of it.

Original poster

flashbac · 15/06/2021 09:01

@QueenStromba

Getting work done is a complete nightmare at the moment, you're well off out of it.

Yep. But stupid heart is saying "but you could have lived there for a bit and did it slowly room by room!" That would have been fun given there is only one electrical socket per room, some ceilings need to come down, WOODCHIP walls in places and a tiny (PINK SUITE!) bathroom where you have to skirt around the basin to get to the loo! But writing this post has made me feel better so that's something!

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umbel · 15/06/2021 09:19

We lost a property we loved. I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I would have hated about living there. I would totally have learned to live with them if we’d got it, but as we didn’t, this helped me get over my disappointment.

DuesToTheDirt · 15/06/2021 09:35

It took me about 10 years!

Didicat · 15/06/2021 09:45

@umbel I did the same with my “house that got away” I had loved it and could have lived with the faults but writing them down did help me get over it.

@flashbac we are currently buying a very different house that I love for different reasons.

HyphenCobra · 15/06/2021 10:32

I feel your pain! I dragged DH to view a mahoosive semi that was in a popular road but needed a lot of updating - nothing urgent.

Had SO MUCH potential!!!

He was having non of it and tbh at that point was price wise a bit out of our reach, would have only had couple hundred free a month after bills.

Fast forward 3 years and he's had pay rise after pay rise and we would have been laughing!

We are buying a detached in better but less convenient area but it is smaller and far less charm :(

4PawsGood · 15/06/2021 10:36

Building work would have cost far more than you budgeted and you would have had to scale back on your plans/ do a cheap and shit version/ live in a building site and do it gradually. You would have found asbestos, woodworm and a shared drain under where you were hoping to do building work. The roof joists wood have been questionable and all need replacing. And then you would notice that because of a massive tree in next door’s garden, your garden gets no evening sun. Ever.

Ninkanink · 15/06/2021 10:37

@4PawsGood

Building work would have cost far more than you budgeted and you would have had to scale back on your plans/ do a cheap and shit version/ live in a building site and do it gradually. You would have found asbestos, woodworm and a shared drain under where you were hoping to do building work. The roof joists wood have been questionable and all need replacing. And then you would notice that because of a massive tree in next door’s garden, your garden gets no evening sun. Ever.

This.

Really.

SpeckledlyHen · 15/06/2021 10:44

I am in a similar position - saw the absolute dream house. Booked a viewing and offered there and then over the asking price. It was a massive move for us and something we had talked about for a few years - it had taken me a lot of soul searching to decide to sell our current house and move. So when I found the "perfect" house I could actually envisage a new life, I had mentally planned out where my furniture would go, and plotted our new lives there. We didn't get it. It was down to 2 of us and essentially our chain is more complicated than the other people who offered so the owners accepted that as they are moving back to their home country and just wanted a quick and smooth transaction. I admit I was GUTTED. It was so much more than a house.

However, I do believe that things happen for a reason and there is a reason why we didn't get it. I have had this in the past with a couple of houses and a few years down the line it has been obvious why we didn't get them or why they would have been unsuitable but for reasons I could not see at the time. You will find another "perfect" house I am sure, you just need to be patient.

SelkieQualia · 15/06/2021 10:49

A field across the road - you've had a lucky escape - it's heartbreaking when they inevitably build it out.

catfeets · 15/06/2021 11:02

We moved in February and talked ourselves out of the house we wanted. We agreed it would probably be a money pit and wasn't in the best of areas.

Guess what - the sensible house has already turned out to be a complete money pit. And the neighbours are a pain in the backside. I'd much rather have spent tens of thousands on a (detached) house I love than one I have to stay in because we can't afford to move again.

I think about the other house all the time. Not sure I'll ever stop thinking about it.

YellowSun567 · 15/06/2021 11:11

Thought I was the only one to have house regrets! There have been a couple of houses in my life I wish I'd moved too. Both perfect. But I got the willies and pulled out. One was before I was married a few years ago. The other was a few months ago. Husband and I both loved it but I thought it was too much. Now my husband won't move at all and I'm stuck!

BlueMongoose · 15/06/2021 15:53

Doer-uppers will always cost more than you can sensibly estimate from looking and from surveys, because no matter what you can see, or even suspect, some further nasties and expensives will turn up that need dealing with. We took on our current place before the lockdown, and that's made things trickier and slower, with many jobs stopped half done all over the place. We've had unplanned-for gas pipe work, delays in electrical work because of other unexpected problems, walls to rebuild we thought were there but were not, all sorts. This is our forever home, and we are relaxed about the mess ( most of the time ) and would still have bought the house had we known- we do have experience of older houses needing work. But all the same, it can be hard work and depressing, apart from the money aspects- never underestimate how much so. I'd say for some people a doer-upper might be best kept as a daydream than a reality. Enjoy the dream as a dream, because living it can be a right nightmare sometimes, more so if you are trying to do it on a too-tight budget, or if money runs out part way through. I know of more than one instance where a redundancy left people with a half-done house that was so difficult to sell that they almost certainly lost money on it never mind all the work they put in.

Knittedfairies · 15/06/2021 16:10

You need to throw those rose-tinted specs away OP; you'd have soggy wallpaper sticking to the soles of your shoes for weeks with removingall that woodchip, not to mention splinters from it under your fingernails before you got to 'relax' in a pink bath in a tiny bathroom. And the garden would probably always be dark...

Original poster

flashbac · 16/06/2021 13:52

Thanks for the much needed head wobble! I do feel a better better now

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jay55 · 16/06/2021 13:56

Imagine the builders ran off with the first half your money and didn't buy any materials.
And then arseholes came in and stole all the pipe work leaving a flooded loft that caused damp.

And there were rats in the garden and mice in the walls.