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Original poster

Buying from a separating couple

29 replies

sillybut · 10/06/2021 20:57

Has anyone been in this situation?

We have fallen in love with a house, made an offer and its been accepted by both vendors.

The vendors told us they were moving for more space. It now turns out that they were moving for more space FROM EACH OTHER.... and he's desperate to sale and she's equally desperate not to.

I understand her point of view as the children are hers so she's got to find somewhere to live with them and he'll be going off single with some cash in his pocket. There is some kind of trust deed on the property and I suspect they put differing amounts in and its quite possible put in most so will get most back.

Now they've instructed different solicitors and the estate agent has told us today that she's not told him who her solicitor is (despite him emailing and phoning) so he can't issue a memorandum of sale...

We should run a mile shouldn't we?? But we love the house - it ticks practically every box we thought of and a couple we didn't.

I feel really sorry for her, it must be horrible especially with children.

We are cash buyers, not in a chain and have some flexibility so could for example offer a quick exchange and an extended completion period to give her some extra time to sort things out. What we will not do is buy and rent back as we don't want to be landlords let alone the prospect of an eviction process.

My gut feeling is we are going to have to start looking again and I should stop mentally moving into this house Sad

OP posts:
HelpMeh · 10/06/2021 21:04

We were supposed to buy a divorce house. It was a complete waste of five months and I can't remember how much money.

After numerous delay tactics and out and out lies, we pulled out. They didn't even try to convince us otherwise. The house was removed from the market and remains unsold. Never again.

alloverthecarpetagain · 10/06/2021 21:58

We've done this twice - both messy divorces with court cases part way through regarding money and who gets what because it was all very acrimonious. Having said that, in the first case it didn't work and we wasted a lot of time waiting around, but in the second case it worked out fine and somehow all went through, though it looked rocky at several points. Every case is different, basically, but I'd never willingly choose a house with this hanging over it.

pilates · 10/06/2021 22:15

Walk away

readytosell · 10/06/2021 22:31

A couple of years ago I was supposed to move and was buying a house from a separating couple.

Never. Ever. Again. Ever. Never.

TwoLeftElbows · 10/06/2021 23:06

Only consider it if they both want to move. When one wants to sell and the other doesn't, it can easily rattle on for years. Not months. Years. And the one who doesn't want to move will, understandably, put up every hurdle they can.

I could also tell you about our exchange day, when the husband's solicitor completed the sale of their property and passed the money up the chain for his purchase.... but failed to pass the rest of the money on to the wife's solicitor for HER purchase. I spent many hours sat outside our new home on the phone that day. Many, many hours. I guess it was only one day of my life, but it felt like several! That said, separation is a common enough scenario. There must be a reasonable proportion of chains that involve one.

surreygirl1987 · 10/06/2021 23:10

It CAN work, but this sounds like a massive no. How much money and time do you have that you can potentially waste? It could cost you a lot if it doesn't work out... a risk in any purchase... but this one sounds like the odds of it falling through are massive. It's hard if you love the place, but it sounds like a terrible situation.

Calmate · 10/06/2021 23:11

@sillybut
I was the co-seller in the same situation in April, sale went ahead regardless, smoothly as myself and my horrible ex agreed to sell £8k below market value. I could have dug my heels in & waited for a court order to force me to sell, but went along with it as i was truly frightened of the consequences. Life had been good to me since, I have managed to buy a terrace nearby.

SingingSands · 10/06/2021 23:14

Our current house was a divorce sale. It all went through fine, but when we moved in the house, garage and loft were FULL of stuff! She'd clearly taken everything she wanted and left the rest behind!

ConstanceMarkievicz · 10/06/2021 23:14

I had this non-experience with the house before the one I bought. The estate agents just wouldn't give me any clarity. Very frustrating. I eventually figured it out when I realised the separating husband was a friend of somebody I knew and I figured out that the house was up for sale but not really. All very frustrating.

Itscoldouthere · 11/06/2021 08:15

Oh no I’m currently buying from a divorcing couple. She has moved out with the children and he is living there but says he is going to move to a different city.
They have agreed to use the same solicitor but so far not had all the documents. I’m not in a massive hurry and no chain but I hope it doesn’t drag on.
Also worried now that they will leave loads of stuff in the house.
Wish me luck

IloveSooty424 · 11/06/2021 08:28

@Itscoldoutthere I’m also buying from a couple divorcing. He’s moved out and she’s living there her young daughter. She already has another house to move into the she inherited from her grandmother. We’re first time buyers so chain free too. She has a skip outside and is clearing things out. I hope it all goes smoothly. I wish you luck.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 11/06/2021 08:46

I would consider it if it was clear both parties were in favour of the sale. OPs situation where she is resisting sale and has instructed her own solicitor would ring alarm bells for me.

Qwqqtttr · 11/06/2021 09:54

In this scenario (one party not wanting to sell) I would walk away. The house might not really be for sale as the wife could ultimately be working towards a settlement that allows her to keep the house. In any event the wife is likely to do everything possible to frustrate the sale

Original poster
sillybut · 11/06/2021 10:22

Thanks everyone nice to hear there are some good experiences and sorry to hear about the bad ones. We're going to keep looking just in case.

Good news though - just had an email from estate agents - they've both decided late last night to instruct same solicitor after all which is a step forward. He's issuing memorandum of sale later today I have no idea why the change

Now all we have to do is persuade them to exchange, complete and move out.. so that's easy then Grin

I've seen another house in the same area. Its not as nice though and a bit more expensive but I've asked for the particulars anyway. Market is moving really fast lately though.

OP posts:
Original poster
sillybut · 11/06/2021 10:25

@qwqqttr they're not married and I don't think they've got children together so I doubt she'd get that settlement. Still, time well tell.

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 11/06/2021 10:32

Excellent news they are instructing same solicitor! That suggests they both agree with sale. It’s also good news they don’t have kids from your point of. There is no risk a court will instruct her to stay in house because her kids live there.

BlueMongoose · 11/06/2021 10:39

We had this once- one seller keen to sell, the other obstructing at every turn, even threatening to sue our surveyor for coming to do the survey (who just ignored the threat and just did the survey, fortunately). It had been on the market for about 18 months AFAIK, with other failed offers. Took about six more rather tricky months to buy it, with two references to the court that we knew about ( I suspect there may have been others) even though there was no chain in any direction. We just sat tight and waited. For us, it worked out. If you really want this specific house, and can be flexible and wait if necessary, then fine. If the sellers co-operate, it may be fine. But if there really is a no-holds-barred war going on, then you will have to be very, very patient. It's a tough time for everyone.

ApolloandDaphne · 11/06/2021 10:45

We bought our house from a separating couple. The poor woman had to do all the viewings and sort out packing up and moving out with three small children while her DH swanned off with his new woman (I got to know the woman after so I know all the details). They day we moved we had to help her, along with some neighbours, get everything out. She was so frazzled. 10 years on she is in a much better place and loves the house she moved into.

Original poster
sillybut · 11/06/2021 10:54

Ghoul they do have children but not shared ones - she has 2 living there with them. He has 2 with shared custody from previous relationships.

Anyway better go and do some work rather than daydreaming over Right Move

OP posts:
HyphenCobra · 11/06/2021 10:55

Current house was a divorce sale and new house in process of buying is a divorce sale.

It's totally dependent on the couple, not the fact they are divorcing/separating.

Hopefully yours will go through okay!

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/06/2021 10:57

Walk away. I actually did this myself when we had to sell the house on divorce. Seven years later I was still there. Look for something else.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 11/06/2021 10:58

How old are her kids? It’s not relevant if she’s definitely now agreed to sale but may be if she changes her mind.

DragMeOutOfIt · 11/06/2021 17:29

Do you mean they've instructed separate solicitors to sell the house? As I was told you could only use one solicitor to sell the property when we split up so we had to agree on one.

BlueMongoose · 11/06/2021 17:37

@DragMeOutOfIt

Do you mean they've instructed separate solicitors to sell the house? As I was told you could only use one solicitor to sell the property when we split up so we had to agree on one.
Our sellers had each their own solicitors. One firm handled the sale, but there was another firm acting for the other re the dispute between them- just not the sale itself. We had no contact, as buyers, with the solicitors of the unwilling seller, except we did send mail on to them for the party they represented after the sale, IIRC.
treesures · 11/06/2021 18:16

We had this when we were looking - in the end we let it go as it was too much hassle.

According to the estate agent (who was fed up with them and it turned out is a friend of a friend so I spoke to informally alongside the formal negotiations) after our initital offer they couldnt agree on what price to accept and once they had accepted they wouldnt accept the survey results and the need for a reduction. In the end we gave them a deadline to accept our revised offer or we would walk away which we did. It was satisfying 6 months later to see that they had had to sell it for less than we were offering.

The problem was due to the man having moved out wanting to shift it as quickly as possible so that he didnt have to keep paying for the mortgage whereas the woman it seemed was holding out to get as much cash as possible.

As you are cash buyers if you are proceeding with the purchase I would give them a date by which you need to move so that it gives them something to focus on - a 'we need to be in by the end of August' type demand rather than just letting it drag on with you being flexible.

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