You want to look between Purley Oaks and Sanderstead stations, or Sanderstead and South Croydon - from South End moving outwards it gets nicer and greener and more desirable.
Yes, Croydon town centre is desperate for some regeneration but it's really no worse than LOTS of other London boroughs. I can and do frequently go out in the area of an evening and don't feel threatened or get bothered. There are an increasing number of nice places to eat and drink (Mr Fox, Basil and Grape, The Store), as well as Boxpark. I'm hopeful that with the huge investment in homes in the area, commerce will follow - there have been lots of new luxe developments put up recently, one of them has a pool, a number have co-working space etc.
The public transport is great, you have good access to the M25 and the south coast. Depending on where you live the schools are excellent - outstanding or good, at primary and secondary level. Plus you have access to the Sutton and Bromley grammars if you so desire, plus some very good privates.
We've lived here for the past 11 years (he's from Streatham, I'm from Sydenham). We prefer it to either of those.
Broomhall Road, South Croydon
www.rightmove.co.uk/property/89315761
Church Way, Sanderstead, CR2 0JU
www.rightmove.co.uk/property/90779182
Rocklands Drive, South Croydon, CR2
www.rightmove.co.uk/property/79775013