Lost out on dream home. Absolutely gutted.

[WankmasterBastardDeLaShithead]

We've been needing to move somewhere bigger for years (and needing it now more than ever for to working from home), but haven't found anything suitable until last week. Perfect home at a price we can afford. I was prepared to go pretty much all out for it (with enough cash spare to do redecorating and renovating). Got advice from three agents on what to bid (Scottish system, offers over) and they all advised going much lower. I had researched the fuck out of house prices in the area, and it seemed hard to reconcile this info with their advice. DH was onboard with a high offer at first, but felt we should listen to the agents' advice. I persuaded him to go a bit higher than they suggested, but basically started doubting myself to push for what I thought would be our best chance offer. Just found out that we missed out by a small margin. I just feel sick.

And if one more person says "something else will come up" I'm going to smash something... This place was a total anomaly, and I've not seen anything like it in all the time I've been looking.

Isn’t that the whole point of o/o though? Get your report, see what it’s worth, see what other similar properties go for in your area and how much you can chance your arm by, decide how much you want as the minimum, go for offers over that price? If the worst happens you still get the price you want as a minimum?

Better than ‘offers in the region of’ which is so vague as to be ridiculous.

The Scottish system is the pits. Worst of both worlds with the stress of offers over, and basically an unofficial chain situation. I'm obviously fervently hoping the sale will fall through. I'm also going to pop a letter through their neighbour's letterbox, as their place is almost certainly very similar To the one we lost out on. He's an older guy, apparently... Maybe he'll want to downsize? 🤞

Sorry OP. We've been on this rollercoaster recently as well. Now we have find something else but changed our criteria quite a lot.

Rubbish agent advice though. Market is erratic though so some things going for a few grand over and some going for 20% or more over. Hard to know.

I'm trying really hard not to be pissed off with DH, because a) he has forgiven me on some truly epic fuck ups over the years, and b) when I put the offer in, I did have a panic that I'd driven him higher than he was happy with, and we could have "overbid" by tens of thousands. He was his usual sweet, sanguine self and pre-emptively "forgave" me for it. But I do want to say "I fucking told you so".

I have a feeling the winners went slightly lower than us but were cash buyers (or at least had already sold).

Yes Grumpycatsmum, it isvery erratic and hard to predict. (Although I predicted it )

Gutting OP. We had a house that got away and nothing else came up for about 2 years. We did eventually find another 'anomaly' which we did buy. And recently I heard that next door to previous dream house live some very noisy dogs.

@HollowTalk

Could you put a note through the door saying you are gutted to have lost out and could they please contact you if their sale falls through?

Good idea..

I would be absolutely gutted too OP. Especially as it could have been preventable. I remember years ago we did a house renovation. It's a long old complicated story but we lost a fair bit of money because my husband paid an invoice without really querying the work that had been done. We basically paid about £20k for nothing (it is a long story and my husband is very financially astute most of the time). I was soo angry with him. I told him not to pay it but he went ahead because he's so honest and reliable and didn't want the builders to be waiting for payment. I had to remind myself that these qualities were what I loved about him (honest and reliable). But it took all my power not to say "I told you so".

I am sure it'll work out but don't blame you for feeling as you do at this moment in time.

@MaMelon

Isn’t that the whole point of o/o though? Get your report, see what it’s worth, see what other similar properties go for in your area and how much you can chance your arm by, decide how much you want as the minimum, go for offers over that price? If the worst happens you still get the price you want as a minimum?

Better than ‘offers in the region of’ which is so vague as to be ridiculous.

How is this a good thing though? Too much effort for the buyer.

If you're going to sell a house by auction (which is what this basically is) then the English system at least has a rigorous system for doing this with rules to ensure fairness.

@WankmasterBastardDeLaShithead

I have a feeling the winners went slightly lower than us but were cash buyers (or at least had already sold).

If you had not already sold your offer may have been rejected however high it was.

Jasmine245 - we were given enough info to know that the sellers were swithering between us and the other buyers and we nearly had it.

Absolutely sickening op I would hate a closed system where you don't know what others have offered. Deffo stick a note through the door. Fingers crossed for you.

It doesn’t seem to have put buyers off though - although I know it’s frustrating for those who lose out (I’ve been there). I’d rather that than oiro or the level of gazumping there is down south though.

Chichic, yes I wish it was like an actual auction! That would have been better for the sellers (and probably us!)

That is SHIT! I wonder if it was an anomaly and a great house if it was too good to be true!? Just speaking from experience! Xx

I think you’re being very magnanimous by not turning round to your husband and saying I TOLD YOU SO (I would have done ) and I also hope that he knows that and has shown it, and will let you make these decisions in future!

Simone - if it wasn't for the fact that DH has overlooked my own enormous fuck ups, I would be doing exactly that. I am however walking around with a face like a slapped arse, so I think I've made my point.

Speckledlyhen - yes, that's very true. I usually love (and benefit from) DH's level-headedness.

Oh nightmare! I still think about a house we didn’t get 5 years ago. We had it but the sellers were taking so bloody long to find a new place that we had to pull out. I love our house now but also think about that one too.

I really feel for you

But it might fall through. And notes through neighbours doors is definitely the way to go, that is how I got my current house.

Out of interest, can we see the house? Or would that make you feel even worse?

On the opposite end of the scale I had to sell a house I absolutely loved for purely pragmatic reasons.

I didn't want to and it still hurts sometimes

I'm sorry OP you must be gutted

I can feel your pain.

We (FTB’s) viewed a house last week... it was absolutely perfect for us, exactly what we have been looking for (and I have been looking and viewing houses for over a year!). We were advised that it has been sold but had fallen through the day before exchange and the buyer had gone AWOL.

We put an offer on...l only to be strung along for a few days and then got a “the vendor is neither accepting nor declining your offer because the previous chain has returned and should be ready to exchange next week, we’ll let you know how it goes”.

I am anxiously hoping the exchange fails again... but I doubt the buyer would have reappeared if he couldn’t get the purchase done a second time.

I am genuinely gutted, like heart-wrenchingly gutted.

This whole process is soul crushing. Fingers crossed for both of us that the current buyers of OUR dream homes fail to exchange and that the sales fall through!

I'm so sorry for everyone else who has experienced house-sale-suffering. I really am.

What was it about the house that made it your 'dream house' OP?

That is really really disappointing. Id be tempted to contact them and make a higher offer. I know it doesn't work that way. And say you werd advised not to make a higher offer by the estate agents. That sounds a bit dodgy.,