Where shall we move to?

[Notquitefeelingit]

I was hoping the wise mumsnetters could advise me because it's just all going round in circles now in my head. We've been planning a move since before lockdown as we have a two-bedroom flat without a garden, ex LA in London and now we're trying to sell and move to a three bedroom house with a garden. Two small children so good primary schools are a bonus but I'm not thinking ahead to secondary yet. Originally we wanted to relocate but that hasn't happened due to jobs so DH starts work early morning in Putney (trying not to give toooo many details away) and doesn't want a hellish commute.

So IF we actually get an offer on our flat and can proceed with moving then what do we do? It's on the market and we've had some interest. Cleared and cleaned as much as possible and we've hired storage so it's looking as good and as spacious as it reasonably can.

Plan A - decent size house further out and as short a commute as we can manage in an area we like and closer to family - looking at Guildford or Woking, also Motspur Park and Worcester Park seem nice.

Plan B - they're only small children, why not go for a larger flat with either a private or shared garden and short commute.

Plan C - longer term we want to leave London so does it really matter where we live? Just get as much space as you can anywhere nearby.

Plan D - this is an awful time to sell a flat without a garden, just get better storage and redo the bathroom so we like it more then put it back on the market next year.

This has been going round in my head for SO LONG I don't feel like I can assess things clearly any more. We love our flat but we have outgrown it and lockdown was just awful, the kids went feral and we were both trying to work from home in the living room. I don't think I can cope with another lockdown here.

Any advice would be so welcome. I'm so tired of worrying about it.

I suspect there are no easy and right answers here but I'll share my thoughts anyway :)

I live in a 3 bed flat with a communal garden with two small kids so I suppose I am in your Plan B. There's lots that I like about it but a communal garden really doesn't replace your own space to have the kids running about outside while you make dinner etc - some safe, private, outdoor space directly off your living area is a game changer I think with small kids.

We are moving to a 3 bed house in the same area. We will have our own garden and potential to add value to the house by doing the loft at some point and that makes it worth it for us - I think - although I do waver so keen to hear what others think.

I agree with you about the safe, private outdoor space for kids. There are so many things I'd be willing to compromise on but private garden is almost as important as enough space inside I think.

I think now that you’ve actually cleared out and put the flat on the market and thought about having a place with a garden, you will not enjoy staying where you are. So would discount plan D, unless you really can’t sell.

Do you know where you want to live longer term? And does it work with DH’s current job? If you can move there and get it to work with DH’s commute then I would do that. Better to start putting down roots in your eventual area sooner rather than later.

However it sounds as though that’s not the case and you can’t move to your “forever area” with DH’s current job? If that’s the case, then I would go with plan B/C.

I don’t think plan A makes sense, assuming those areas are not your “forever areas”. Starting all over again in a new area, new friendships etc, knowing that you’ll be moving again in a fairly short time, doesn’t appeal, at least not to me.

A twist on plan B/C/D might be to rent out your current flat and rent somewhere with more space, perhaps a little further out?

We moved to Guildford and absolutely love it. Has a nice high street with everything necessary, shops, pubs, all the standard argos, currys etc. stores are there in town with convenient parking. Beautiful parks everywhere, five minutes drive each direction and you are in beautiful surroundings. The seaside is only 45 minutes straight down on the A3!! A lot of families and kids everywhere we feel much safer here than in London.

Move into the catchment of one of the good state secondaries (like GA or Guildford County, or St Peters if catholic) and find a good primary, we couldn't be happier with our primary so far. If you want private schools Guildford have top 10 schools in the UK for boys and for girls too. The only school type which is missing is the selective state grammar schools, but even from the state secondaries above there are some kids getting into Oxford and Cambridge every year.

Woking is also a quite nice place as far as I heard, but I dont know any details.

But whatever you decide do the move BEFORE your kids would start primary.

@thirtysixxx it's slightly too late for that, I'm afraid...my son is in reception this year. But we do really like Guildford so good to hear you're happy there.

@minipie We both think Guildford would be a great place to put down roots. My husband went to school nearby and I have family in Hampshire. We're going down next week to see some places (finger crossed we have a buyer for our flat).

@minipie I think emotionally renting it out and renting somewhere larger makes sense...but it feels like so much money and extra admin. We have thought about it, though!

Ah well, if you are in a position to move further out to an area you would want to stay in long term … then definitely do that! I am not sure what the Guildford to Putney commute is like but if it’s manageable (at least until he changes jobs) then that sounds like a great option.

Agree that you definitely need to find out about primary school catchments/spaces before moving! I would start calling a few Guildford primary schools and sounding them out re whether they think they will have a space for your DS to move into y1, and where you would need to live to get a space if there is one. You may find they are quite full…

I absolutely love Guildford. Great place to bring up young kids.

@minipie that's a very good point. I suppose I've been putting it off because I'm worried about what they might say. My son loves his school and his sister has a place at the ursery year. It's about the only reason we'd be sad to move but I thought better now than in two years time!

@thirtysixxx can you recommend some good primaries? Sorry if that's a bit cheeky. I have been looking online but so difficult to know from the outside.