Having major anxiety over house move

[weemouse]

Has anyone else suffered major anxiety whilst planning a new house move? I feel almost crippled daily with the "what if's" and self doubt. It's really taken the joy out of what has been my long term plan. I thought I'd really enjoy moving on, but I'm being held back by my own indescision.

Can anyone read through and remind me of the positives of moving;

Current house is a not very pretty 70's build that has some internal charm but bad internal layout, which cannot really be improved upon. It does however have an amazing view from the garden. The garden is on a steep hill though, where you cannot utilise it for anything, so we lose the use of about half the land we have due to its position. But oh the view. This house is also cold in winter due to a massive central staircase and high ceilings. (Central staircase is the main reason for bad internal layout, which is why we cannot do much internally to improve, and we are semi-detached so don't want to spend a ton of money on a house where it's not an individual build, and neighbours exterior is pretty grotty as they are not bothered about aestethics)

New house, individual, much more modern, which I much prefer over charm. Brand new heating system, perfect open plan living downstairs, and much improved upstairs space. Totally flat land so complete use of all garden space, where we can even install some much longer for garden items. The view isn't just as good, but still very pretty, and infact with a 5 minute walk we have the big view as before.

I can't stay here and regret not moving just for not having the same exact view from the garden as before, but that's is what it feels like in my head! Both houses are in lovely quiet location so no change there. Can somebody give my head a wobble. Sorry it's so long

Yep and our chain has been a nightmare.
We've had to love into rental or we'd lose our buyers.
The top of our four chain was supposed to be moving into a vacant house........there never was a vacant house and tried to run a chain simultaneously alongside our chain 😡 we went to exchange, found out there are now 4 more people added!
The house moving business is the most stressful thing I've done. I can't sleep most nights as o am worrying about going into rented but we need to move.

I think if it's in your head to love, you become unsettled in your home and you're ready to go

No house is perfect. But it sounds like your current house isn’t that great to live in, just has an appealing vista. The new house sounds like your day to day living will be enhanced (and use of indoor/outdoor space). But you won’t be looking out on a beautiful landscape. I think I would choose the latter. We don’t have a beautiful view but we have a lovely house. There is woodland at the bottom of our garden, so we have mature oak trees to look at.

Yes springchickpea nothing is perfect your right!! That's what I need to hear, and the day to day living will be massivky improved.

New house will give us much better entertainment space, which we really are looking forward to.

If we stay here, we need to reps e the roof, upstairs bathroom and the old terrace in the garden (the garden which we can only profit from a small part of it!)

Sounds like you are getting what you had before and more!! Maybe it's the palaver of actually physically moving that's getting to you?

Thank you livingintheclouds that's the kind of rational and advice I need!! Where were you at 02:00am and my head was

I am in the middle of a house move. It's really helped me understand that house moves are an excellent vehicle for the "whackamole" of anxiety. This is because they entail an "up and down" cycle which leads to worry-relief-exhaustion-worry-relief-exhaustion on repeat.

A sample house move could generate this cycle as -

1. To move or not to move
2. Once moving decision made will current house sell or not sell?
3. Will this viewing be good or bad?
4. Will offer on new house be acepted or not?
5. Will bank decline mortgage or ask for too high rates/deposit or not?
6. Will surveys go OK or not?

Each step generates eventual relief for most people. But that relief is followed by the next step.

it's a classic, textbook anxiety hell hole. Do look after yourself wherever you are in the process.

I live in an 8.5/10 house and I consider myself really very lucky. It loses some points for some road noise (can’t see the road, it’s not overwhelming, but it’s there), and some other points for being a period house so costing £££ in repairs every year.

I don’t think I will ever actually better this house. I’m fairly sure that if/when we move there will be elements that are better and elements that are worse. I am certain that I will never again live in a house this big, or with such high ceilings, or as many period features. I expect my next house to be warmer. But that’s because if I’m going to replace this house I am going to do so in a way which fixes the things that are not perfect about it. And in doing so I will almost certainly trade off against all the really great things about it (the amazing sense of space and light, the perfect layout for our family).

Overall it’s about whether life will be better or worse, and if it’s going to be better then go for it!

You'll get there. Any change is unsettling and feels unknown. It's normal to feel at least a bit unsure. Once you're in, you'll feel better.

Navigationcentral Yes!! Great analogy!

These are all helping, thank you!

House buying has exasperated my already high anxiety!

You are not the only one who’s feeling the stress.

Fingers crossed it’s all over soon and you are moved and settled quickly x

Your new house sounds better than the first one. Think of that lovely garden furniture. View or no view your garden can make it.

Agree on the anxiety. It has been a nightmare from the beginning. Even getting a viewing in this current climate.

Your new house sounds ideal! Moving is incredibly stressful. What helped me was sorting and packing. I got rid of lots of things and only took what we used or loved.

I'm usually quite a no nonsense kind of gal, but even I am feeling the anxiety of buying and selling at the moment.

Completely agree with your checklist @NavigationCentral !

When people asked me if I was glad to get my house sold so quickly, I was quite honest and said no... not until completion. That is the time to be happy. Anything can go wrong until then!

I'm in the same position and the anxiety is driving me crazy. I love the pp's description of the whack a mole of anxiety/worries. That's where I am with it all. To top it off DH is very stressed and probably depressed with work/various other problems so I don't have anyone else to tell me it's going to be ok. I spend a large proportion of my day and night worrying that we're making a massive mistake.

I am exactly the same and crippled with anxiety, thought I was going made. The main issue with me is I don’t like the area of the house but after 18 month search some compromises were to be made.

Just starting on this journey and already feeling like not bothering just to avoid all the stress!

Just bought a lovely house in a great area but now feel uncertain and a little bit anxious about moving. I don’t understand why

You should read through your OP again and try to be objective. The new house blows the old one out of the water!!

Oh and we went from a house with a view to one without. Don't miss it in the slightest.

Thanks all for the responses. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one thinking I've lost the plot

And particularly glad to hear of one poster who went from having a view to not, and doesn't miss it.

There are so many things to gain for the house and everyday living, why am I self doubting so much!!! Aarrggh.

Can I run past my move to you for

I have 3dcs and they need their own rooms, dh needs an office.

Current house- opposite woodland and park which we use regularly, large open plan downstairs, 3 bedrooms. No scope to do loft extension. Semi-detached. Lovely location in naice area.

Next move- detached, 4 double bedrooms, study/office, but over all less spacious downstairs. There is however a massive integral garage that we may be able to convert/part convert. Lovely sought after road but roads off it not nice.

Gardens are similar size and aspect.

The next house is more expensive.

My concerns are that the downstairs isn't as spacious and the area isn't as nice.

@zippyswife ours is also a lovely road off a not so nice estate and lots more than last house.

@zippyswife: you are moving for v practical reasons, and as they get older your kids need own space

@weemouse: the anxiety is normal.I moved 2 months ago: about 6 weeks before I got massive cold feet, looked at other houses, thought about staying put etc...

Fast forward: I love ❤️ my new house, went to the old place to pick up mail - what a dump! Moving is very stressful and I had a few sleepless nights, but it has been so worth it!

Thanks @DespairingHomeowner , again the rational part of me knows the gains outweigh the losses, but so can't seem to shake the middle of the night anxiety. Think I may have a session of hypnotherapy to help.

And also @zippyswife your move is for good practical reasons that your family will all benefit from. I don't think we can ever get it all, and there has to be compromise somewhere.

I looked again at the local market today and there are houses and land with possibly a better view, but they are all much smaller than what we have just now, so no gain.

We moved a few months back, so stressful at every stage, but we got there and it was worth it. Never met anyone yet that moves home and finds it a breeze. Good luck OP, I hope all works out well for you.