Thank you @MerryAnton
Your insight and that also of @SecretOfChange have helped me navigate a bottleneck of confusion immeasurably.
@MerryAnton - everything you say makes total logical sense. But, alas, it's not quite as straight forward as that..
Renting a 3 bed in this area (NW London albeit next to north circular) would in fact eat my entire monthly salary. So the idea would be to rent the shittest 2 bed I could find, and get a sofa bed for myself. Even then, barely affordable. Clearly, the whole point of this is to get back onto the ladder and thus would need to protect capital. 12 months of renting could dent that big time and leave me "priced out." As @SecretOfChange pointed out, there's actually no guarantee what the market will do and whether being chain free will truly offer me a nice soft landing place. I am working off various unknowns and assumptions with that one.
Also, as I have realised throughout life - money is not our only commodity. Our other key commodities eg Energy / Time / Equilibrium and Inner Wellbeing are also at stake, with what would be a massive, single handed disruption to undertake a single handed interim rental move. I would pay heavily in those too. Plus it's never just rent - deposits always get taken (in my experience, agency fees, move costs etc).
My current place is far from suitable. BUT, it is
- safe
- clean
- familiar to my kids
- pretty low cost to run
I simply cannot say the same for a rental flat. I rushed about madly yesterday doing 6 viewings for rentals. My spirit slowly became more and more despondent as I was passing junkies on exposed stairwells etc (not quite, but you get the picture), and did the maths of how much we'd have left to live on each month.
So, all that considered, and I like what you say @MerryAnton re time constraints, I believe with the help of insightful strangers I have navigated a way how to tackle this, and a way I feel comfortable with.
My offer was made contingent on a timeline. I accepted on that basis. But there was an original recognition that I may not meet that timeline, hence why the buyer built a 'missed deadline penalty' into the negotiation. Although at the time I sort of thought WTF, now, in fact, I am thinking this could be my saving grace.
Because this actually gives me grounds to go back and make this into a Timeline Negotiation of two equally invested parties, rather than that cringingly difficult phone call feeling full of guilt and nerves and loss of face to say I am pulling out.
As you rightly point out, the time constraint here caused me to cut corners.
I have TRIED to meet the timeline. Fact if, my buyer is buying from someone who is not chain free - but has 3 DC settled in local schools. In the buyers and agents minds they thought pressure and the threat of a penalty would make me become chain free. Whereas at this point the penalty is looking like the preferable and most attractive option. It would also be cheaper than 12 months rental/ cheaper than a full aborted agency fee / and mean I can remain in my current place while finding onward purchase. There is a risk buyer would pull out, BUT, that's ok. I have realised interim rental is now out of the question.
I have TRIED to meet the timeline imposed. I have offered on 2 places that didn't work out. I have incurred my own abortive fees. I have advanced the conveyancing process and had to pull out. I have spent 2 days racing around the murkiest corners of NW Lon passing junkies on stairwells trying to find a 2 bed rental I can afford.
It's just not happening.
Plan is - phone agent on Monday. Not act guilty or sheepish or contrite. I have been busting my balls here. Explain the TRUTH - I have lost out on an onward purchase through my fault of my own and incurred abortive fees, and I cannot afford to rent without being priced out and mortgage figures are tight, I would lose deposit and not be able to get back onto ladder.
So, I'd very much like to take the buyer up on the penalty they cleverly input to the negotiation. I expect they wont be happy and will want to impose a further onward timeline - which is ok - BUT it means I am negotiating using THEIR original terms - NOT making myself liable for aborts by pulling out.
And there is a chance buyer would "agree" and I remain in current place with a somewhat lower purchase price on it, but the MASSIVE saving of not having to rent, and the time to find onward purchase (not to mention the other saving which is my essential mental equilibrium).
Buyer has already invested. His penalty recognised the chance I may not meet his timeline. I will be transparent, professional, forthright and clear - I would now like to take him up on this penalty (which is in fact an offer, not a penalty in my new way of thinking - because it enables me theoretically to retain buyer and gain TIME - which is what I need).
How does that sound?
@MerryAnton - I am sorry to hear of your 4 year mistake due to time constraints. Happy to hear the tale if you care to share.
I do appreciate also this thread has entirely shifted from a Building Reg issue.
And also, that place I was considering buying had a 86 year lease - which would have been on me to extend adding another c.20/ 30k into mortgage, if manageable for me, and one of the other bedrooms was teeny tiny and really part of a utility space (single bed and not much more). Not expecting a palace by any means on my budget, but actually, the lease, the compromise on not one but two bedrooms - the niggles are too many and clearly time was the pressure point.