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Selling, buying and 32 weeks pregnant...

8 replies

ECK23 · 11/05/2021 13:23

Hi everyone,

I've been trawling MN for weeks now closely reading into a number of threads regarding this topic and I'm at my wits end, very emotional and at a loss of what to do as this is slowly eating me up.

It's the classic tale of falling pregnant (I'm 32 weeks), selling our London flat and moving out to the countryside, back to where we grew up. I was blissfully dismissive of the fact that other people have issues with selling and buying but it couldn't POSSIBLY happen to my husband and I! No, we're far too organised and motivated, as was our buyer and vendors. Ah, my sweet, delusional, poor past self...

First of all, we had sold our flat and purchased a new property in mid-Feb 21. Our FTB is very motivated and eager move in and we were aiming for a completion at the beginning of June to get settled in time for the baby's arrival. The stamp duty holiday extension was a very welcome bonus. Our vendors had said (the old chestnut) that they would move into rented accommodation so as not to hold up the chain which was obviously very appealing to us and they also wanted to beat the stamp duty holiday when that had been announced.

Where to begin. After a very fast start with documents and emails being sent thick and fast and things being solved very quickly, there was a lull which my husband and I didn't think much of because we assumed the conveyancers were beavering away in the background and had given us ETA's on search results etc.

Rewind 6 weeks ago and we came to the realisation that our vendors solicitor and ours had been in an ongoing chain about not receiving some of our documents... these documents had been sent to an unmonitored email box. Absolutely appalling. Then, our vendors were being chased for a Leasehold form, despite it being a Freehold property. They refused to fill this form out as they didn't see the need to. This form issue took 4 weeks and they still haven't filled this form out, so our solicitor has gone onto raise enquires anyway. I mean, just have a go at filling the form out. It looked insanely easy.

We found out on Friday that our vendors onward purchase has fallen through as their vendor did not want to move into rented accommodation. We in turn asked them to honour their (albeit verbal) suggestion of moving into rented and they have said they would find it difficult with three teenage children. It seems a bit rich to force their own vendor to move into rented and not want to do it yourself. We offered them more money to see if that sways them in anyway to move out and complete before the 30th June and we're just waiting on our slow EA to get back to us. Apparently their first reaction to this was a bit shaky, but they are continuing to mull it over.

Oh and our Local Authority Searches are still not back after TEN WEEKS.

My stress levels are through the roof and the constant chasing and worrying has turned into a full time job in itself, on top of my actual full time job which is non-stop, being 32 weeks pregnant and trying (really trying) to stay zen and prepare for my baby's arrival. I just have no idea what is going to happen and that frightens me. It's not how I wanted my maternity journey to go. This is also a dreadful thing to say, but I am sick of family and friends calling and texting everyday asking me what's going on and how am I doing etc... I just want to wallow in my worry alone! I feel selfish and sick for saying that as they are so well meaning and concerned, but I don't want to talk to anyone until I have some sort of good-ish news! I'm desperate to meet my baby and already feel guilty for not having any idea what is going to happen to our living arrangements.

We would move into rental ourselves, but with the uncertainty of our vendors movement and with a lack of properties we like in the area (we really like the house we've purchased) plus the baby arriving, it's just too much for my brain to consider at the moment. We also don't want to lose our buyer as we found our flat hard to sell. I thought this would make us attractive buyers and they wouldn't want to lose us. It's not super ideal to live with family. I want to be in a baby-moon as a family of three for a few months.

The search results taking this long to come back takes the biscuit and there is 0 urgency from our conveyancer to actually do anything, but this won't be news to anyone who has bought a house. The stamp duty is also an enormous saving if we can complete by 30th June.

So, I guess what I'm asking is:

  1. AIBU to offer our vendors more money for them to move out? That money would help with rent and the stamp duty they will now have to pay. Plus, does it make them attractive buyers for when they find somewhere else? Any similar stories would be welcome.
  2. Soothing words of advice for a HIGHLY stressed pregnant lady!
  3. How to stick a rocket up our solicitors backside to keep going and going. I feel like we're so close to getting far enough ahead that our vendors won't want to lose us... I know the search results aren't her fault, but HONESTLY. TEN WEEKS?! Any one else had that?
  4. If it all falls through... what to do?! Keep trucking on I suppose. I really, really don't want to lose this house :(
  5. We can't lose our lovely buyer and he's already been so patient.

This will look like a complete mess when I create this conversation, so huge apologies and I hope someone will be able to get through this without snoring. The process of buying a house in this country is absolutely beyond incomprehensibly broken.

OP posts:
Andthenanothercupoftea · 11/05/2021 16:44

I don't have any answers for you but wanted to share that I understand the stress you're feeling - I'm 26 weeks pregnant and we're only at memorandum of sale stage so this is like looking into a scary crystal ball!!

Moving house is stressful, having a baby is stressful and not knowing where you'll be bringing that baby home to is super stressful.

You'll be limited in your ability to move things forward (searches are taking ages everywhere) all you can do is check in regularly with the solicitors to keep things on track. Maybe speak to your estate agent and see what they recommend? They might be able to chat to the censor's estate agent about them moving to rented - they will both have the incentive of their completion fee.

Good luck.

readytosell · 11/05/2021 16:58

Gosh, really feel for you, I read these forums and various others online around the property market and it seems you are far from unique at the moment sadly.

The problem is a lot of areas the rental market is really hot as well, so it isn't always that easy. For me it would be an absolute last resort, as it seems to be for a lot of people. I must admit I personally would be more persuadable with your suggestion of a wad of cash to help me on my decision, but my circumstances are my own, and everyone is different.

I'd definitely get speaking to your agent to speak to your sellers agent, they often can be the ones to get the informal conversations rolling. Even if your sellers absolutely refuse to move into rental, at least you will know where you stand.

SpnBaby1967 · 11/05/2021 19:25

I feel your pain and I'm not even pregnant (I do have 3 kids though) and just want a date to work towards! I cant even plan how to pack a family sized house up without having a date to work towards as I darent pack something thinking it'll only be for a couple of weeks and then find it's much longer.

We also want to be in before the stamp duty holiday ends. We started this whole process just a month ago, and already it feels too long. Our searches came back today thankfully.

Heronwatcher · 11/05/2021 20:08

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to have offered money for them to move out of the house, however I would say that it seems like there is a reasonable chance that they still won’t go. In this case you’re going to have to either reconcile yourself to renting, or potentially lose your buyer. If you really love the house you’re trying to buy then I would say it might be worth moving into a rental yourself for six months so that the people you’re buying from have chance to find something. I do think it is probably easier to rent with a new baby than with three teenage children who are probably still in school and might be doing exams et cetera, although I agree they should never have said they would rent If they weren’t prepared to. Could you perhaps think outside the box, for example would it be possible to rent somewhere close to your parents so that you can help with the new baby or with your other half’s parents. Or could you take a rental outside the immediate area so that you get to see a new area for six months. Obviously this depends on your circumstances with work. I think it always comes down to a balance of how much you like the new house and how much inconvenience you’re prepared to go to to get it. Just bear in mind though that the market is crazy at the moment and there may not be much else for a little while if you do decide to pull out of your onward purchase, so in the long term you taking a 6 month rental might be the least bad option. You could also ask your solicitor whether there is a chance of exchanging contracts soon and then leaving a longer gap to complete? We rented last year for 6 months between houses with 2 kids and a dog and it was actually fine.

Changingwiththetimes · 12/05/2021 20:11

If your flat was tricky to sell suck it up and move in with family or rent. Honestly what is it about baby moon? I've got four kids and really it doesn't exist. I personally found babyhood very boring and quite lonely and would have loved to have been living with family for support and company.
And call up your conveyancer and ask her to do everything that needs doing while waiting for searches (and a bit of chasing the council perhaps, and if they knew it would take this long why didn't they order a personal search)?
I offered to give my vendor money to rent so I could make stamp duty deadline but he won't move until he finds a place to buy - though the EA initially told me he would go into rental so I ordered the survey etc. I have planned this move for two years as my daughter is moving school, so there is a time pressure (I'm also at exchange point on my sale). Once my seller's agent started sending me listings for other properties and offered no reassurance that the seller was definitely going to sell I decided I'd waited long enough and started looking. And have found another property, chain free.

ECK23 · 14/05/2021 00:44

Thanks so much everyone - I really appreciate the feedback and you taking the time to contribute!

Our vendors did indeed come back to decline our offer, but their purchase is now back on as their vendor changed their mind on the condition that our vendors wait for her to find somewhere. What a day of emails it was yesterday! This vendor lives alone in an enormous house and is costing us all thousands of pounds in stamp duty (she sounds like an absolute princess) but there you are. Obviously you can't force someone to move out of their home, I'm just bitter.

I'm very concerned about this vendors motivation, so I think we're just going to keep at this for a while longer and keep looking to see what else comes up. We'll likely have to rent. Sadly it might mean missing out on our lovely house and letting our vendors down, but something has to give eventually if no one wants to compromise.

Any ideas for short term let ideas welcome!

OP posts:
SavannahLands · 14/05/2021 02:49

You may find a Local AirB&B that will give you a decent discount on a Holiday let place if you sign up for longer than the standard holiday break.

Good Luck, l know full well what a nightmare this can be having recently sold a Property ourselves.

seaduck · 15/05/2021 15:54

This is tough, OP, I feel your pain. In November, we moved after a highly stressful conveyancing process that nearly fell through at the last minute. At 39 weeks, we still aren't even sure it would go ahead. When we moved, we had a 2 week old and 2 older children. The last part of my pregnancy was very stressful as dates were passed around, I didn't care when the date was, I just needed to know when so I could feel settled and know where I would be living when baby arrived and that I wouldn't be giving birth on moving day. At one point, completion date was set for 2 days after my due date! Thankfully it worked out, I spent weeks packing in advance before baby arrived so that when she did I knew we were at least sorted, we had my dad around to help, albeit not loads of help because of lockdown but we managed. I'm nearly over the stress of that period. (nearly Grin)

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