Sold, but nothing to buy. When to throw in the towel? [Title edited at OP's request]

[umbel]

We sold in February to FTB and had an offer accepted on our onward property in March. Subsequently our vendor pulled out and the market went nuts and now we don’t know what to do.

Our buyers have indicated that are willing to hang on until late August(!) and once we have an onward purchase we could move in with a friend (a risk, I know, but one we would take). Friend would not really want us to move in if things were still open ended.

The problem is, our search area is really quite small and there has been nothing even remotely suitable come up, and with prices rocketing, we may no longer be able to afford what we need even if something does come up. We are moving for reasons of space.

I feel really stuck. Should we hold our nerve and keep waiting and hoping, or just forget the whole thing and try again in a year or two? We could certainly save more. But what about our poor patient buyers? I feel sick at the idea of letting them down, but being in limbo is really starting to grind me down.

Think outside the box.

Go to auctions and get building/renovation quotes/timelines for fixer uppers.

If you can't compromise on location you might have to compromise elsewhere.

Then if you have to let your buyers down then you really can say you've tried everything.

We were in a similar position where the house we were buying had issues so had to pull out. Couldn't find anything and so we decided to take the house off the market. It's good to have the pressure lifted.

In your position, just tell the buyers what the situation is so at least they can plan. They may still wait? Or they may look for something else but at least they know x

Take a step back, and put on a business head not an emotional one. If you won't compromise your area, then as above you need to compromise other ways - and one of those compromises may be to hold back.

I think people worry way, way too much about offending or letting down buyers or sellers. That's nice and human, but ultimately you have to put yourself first. Anyone buying and selling needs to go into it with eyes wide open what can happen. So don't beat yourself up whatever decision you take.

We are in the same boat OP.

We have been really strict with ourselves about the compromises we are and aren't willing to make. We view anything which could meet our criteria. But if it comes to it, we will just have to pull out of our sale. I will feel awful for our buyers but we can't uproot our kids for a property which doesn't meet our needs. It's a horrible position to be in and I sympathise!

The same happened to us, we are currently in rental waiting (hoping) for our purchase to go through. We found our house by flyering all the roads we liked where the houses fit our criteria

Have a look at the feeling overwhelmed by the market thread. Lots of people in the same boat as you. Even if it doesn’t do much in terms of solving your problem, you’ll at least feel less alone and see you’re a victim of the market like many others.

Thanks all for your kind replies.

We have tried leafleting to no avail (yet). We’ve looked round dumps and at properties outside of the area. We’ve thought about moving somewhere the same size as where we are now with the intention of moving on again soon. I really do feel we have tried our best. We are currently mortgage free so staying would at least mean being able to save more (and maybe catch up with the hike in prices).

I think we will set a date and try to be upfront with our buyers about the situation. I’m guessing they too will find it difficult to find somewhere else so maybe we will both end up trying again once this madness passes. Who knows, maybe the vendors who pulled out on us will be willing to try again then too!

Being able to put a date on the decision does feel better. Im not good with uncertainty. I’m too scared to move into rented (or with the friend if they’d have us with no onward purchase). We don’t HAVE to move, so I feel the risk is too great.

I am going to take the time to be grateful for what we do have. We are lucky enough to have a beautiful home right now. It could be so much harder.

Please let your buyers know as soon as you decide, and even that you are considering staying put.
My seller is still.looking after accepting my offer in February. I'm moving some distance and do not have the option of waiting much longer. His solicitor has gone silent for a month and even his estate agent has started sending me new listings.
I just wish he'd had been up front from the beginning. I was told he would go in to rental so went ahead and had an expensive survey, spent hours redesigning the kitchen, got tile samples and even got a builder lined up because I thought we'd be moving in soon. I don't even now if he still plans to sell at all (I've asked but did not get a response other than he's still looking).
I can't wait so have started looking and think I've found an alternative. But I've wasted months and I'm pretty resentful.

@Changingwiththetimes that’s fair comment. Having had a purchase pulled from us, we know how awful it is. We have always said we would move out and complete the sale if we had an onward purchase in the pipeline so to speak. They knew that when they offered. They have said they would like to be in by September. No harm in laying it out clearly again though, rather than letting things drift on and just waiting and hoping. I doubt they have much idea about why we are finding it so difficult to find a house. They may wish to look elsewhere, they may wish to wait and save more - who knows. They are FTB and have been trying to buy on this estate for a while I believe.