Buying a house with Generalised Anxiety Disorder

[dinkydino123]

Hi. I hope this isn't the wrong place for this thread but I was wondering if anyone with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) had experience with the house buying process and could share anything they found helpful? We have been looking for a year and have found a few houses but I've found my anxiety paralysing and I've never been able to proceed. I'm a FTB and so terrified of something going wrong, it being a bad buy etc. We've found somewhere and had an offer accepted (the furthest we've got!) and I really want to proceed and move forward in a positive way (especially for the sake of my super patient partner). So if anyone here has similar experiences and managed to overcome/cope with their GAD in these circumstances, I would love you to share below.

Hmmm -

I'm very similar and have been trying to move for 7 years now. As you say the anxiety is paralysing. We're not FTB - second time buyers instead.

I didn't actually realise it was my anxiety stopping us from moving until I read your post. I've always thought circumstances were against us. They're not easy - but everyone else I know whose wanted to move has done in the last 7 years. It's only us who've been completely stuck.

I can't think of any solutions. But it might help you to imagine being stuck still in another 7 years time. Try not to be in my position. Take a deep breath and jump. I'm trying to do the same.

My first house was a new build. They’re not definitely ‘a good buy’ but it came with a warranty, lots of people were buying on the estate, I felt like I wasn’t the only one making a bad decision (if it did turn out to be a mistake) and it felt like I had options if we faced issues

I researched the area, and worked out that it was unlikely house prices would drop, even if they didn’t rise.
And in a worst case scenario that I couldn’t ever sell the house, it was a lovely home, albeit not my dream house, and I would be happy there.

I then worked out my finances in all eventualities and got good insurance

Basically lowering all my risks, and rationalising not catastrophising

That’s what works for me, but whatever you normally do to manage your anxiety you can apply here.

It’s still stressful for anyone to buy a house so don’t be too harsh on yourself

I would definitely engage a broker. I could not eat or sleep or think about anything else for three weeks incase I could not get the mortgage approval. My broker held my hand and really helped. In the end I had to wait and trust the mortgage process.

The offering for a house was awful too but at least that was sorted in a day.

Onto the searches stage now still feeling something will go wrong. Trying to trust the awful process again.

@dinkydino123
I'm similar to you. Been looking for ages but kept making excuses instead of taking the plunge. Brexit, covid, price crash blah. Now I've finally taken a now or never approach and made an offer that's been accepted. Today I was reading through the legal stuff and feeling very anxious about all the paperwork and decluttering and the task ahead. I don't have any answers but wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling like this. I'm kicking myself for not acting sooner which is edging me on.

I’m the same. Mine is more to do with location and making another wrong move and all the upheaval with schools and getting that right too. It’s absolutely paralysing. Weirdly it’s been 7 years for me too. Stuck renting for years. Viewed god knows how many houses and schools and still stuck. I’ve had a few panic attacks about the situation. I’m now on anti depressants and speaking to someone! I find meditation and cbt helpful to a point and trying to make light of it all to put it into context. Just need to make a decision now and do something. The agony of not doing anything is becoming worse than the fear of doing it.

Hello, I don’t have GAD but am definitely anxious/a worrier, and it was worse as a FTB

I think sharing your worries with sane/level headed friends who own property so have been through this helps a lot

Lower your risk with insurance etc

Buy somewhere where you know the area and type of property well

When you are in: get to know your neighbours so you can understand from them more about how the houses are constructed too. Staying on good terms with people you are buying from so they can give you info you might need after you’ve bought would be helpful too

As PP has said, think about negatives of where you are that are making you move ...

What kind of property are you buying/ when was it built?
If you are Anxious you are more likely to worry about the survey so discuss that with friends

Re the financial side: look into affordability if interest rates go up etc so you know if you could manage or not. I worried about that as a FTB but ten years of low interest rates & the government propping up homeowners in general show that was misplaced worry

I’ve had a lot of misplaced/excessive worry about homeownership tbh so I sympathise.

One motivator: the feeling of owning and living in my 1st home was better than I could ever have imagined!

Can only echo comments above. So many excuses of why not to move, and now several years later I am no further forward for no real reason. We didn't go to our maximum budget. I was very adamant that I only wanted to put down 10% deposit so we had x amount of money still in savings which meant we couldn't go to our max - but we were agreed on that. Used a mortgage broker. I think may use a packing service too (not much more than normal moving service), just to take even more stress out. We are buying older house which needs a bit of work, but we have a plan of what we are going to do and when which helps. House came with compromises which were difficult for me to accept at first (and made me quite stressed and kicked off a few weeks of random panic attacks), but I have come to accept those and see the benefits that outweigh them. I also think by accepting that this is a stressful process and recognising it has helped me be prepared and lessened anxiety.
I am definitely in a more positive place about moving now.

I too suffer with anxiety.

Use a mortgage broker, chances of getting approval first time maximised as they are only going to want to put you forward to those lender who will lend to you and your circumstances.

Ask everyone you know about their experience with the conveyancer/ solicitors they used. We found an ace one who replies within a few hours by email and is very proactive. Having an online case tracker so I can see the milestones being ticked off as helped.

Buying with the stamp duty deadline is giving me major wobbles..... time/deadlines/being late is a major trigger for me.

As other have said don’t over extend what you can afford, don’t join in the estate agents games. If it went to sealed bids we’d put in what we thought it was worth to us and walked away. Surveys always throw up the worst - it’s their job to point absolutely everything that may go wrong with a house.

I do a lot of research prior to visiting a house, look at flood risk, planning applications, local schools, street view, Rightmove sold prices, Zoopla estimated prices.... it means we don’t go and see a lot of properties, but you only need to find one you like that you can make your own and love!

Good luck.

Job number one is finding a good mortgage broker. Ours was amazing, got us a great mortgage and has very much held our hand throughout. Responds to emails even on weekends. We're now recommending him to our friends.

Try to have a list of wants for your property, and would be nice if it hads. We've made a couple of compromises over the area we move to, because we can get the kind of house we want there within our budget.

House buying is stressful, this is only our second time buying in 15 years and I'm hanging by my fingernails to be done before the stamp duty deadline.

Hi, I have acute anxiety which is directly linked to houses. I would recommend that you still trust your instinct. If there are warning signs, don't proceed. It's very easy to think you are just being over-anxious and ignore those warning signs - don't!

I would keep it objective, do as much research upfront, don't listen to anything estate agents say and if your solicitor gives you advice on any matters that arise during the purchase, ask them to put it in writing so you can rely on it later down the line.

Check with the builders to see if they mixed it into the cement?

Otherwise you need a house therapist

It's a trip all right! Generally though, houses are the safest investment you can make and you're losing money all the time you're renting. Your mortgage company will not let you buy it for more than it's worth and you can get a homebuyers survey that will highlight any potential issues.

oh jeez I too suffer with this. not first time buyers but being wanting to move for a while, can finally afford moving costs and now house prices have gone insane and need to renew our term by august so possible stuck in a term for two years. Had estate agents round in jan was so close to putting it up then backed out, so scared of moving and having bad neighbours or surveyors saying there's things wrong with our house that we don't know about, basically anything had I can think off. Sorry no help but your not alone in how you feel

Hello everyone - thank you all for your lovely comments. It's reassuring that I'm not the only one who feels like this and I will definitely take some of your tips on board so thank you!

Just came across this one. I'm the same, put off buying a place for years as I have crippling anxiety around my finances despite being very good with money. In the end, decided to buy a smaller house than I ideally wanted, but big enough for the next few years. This helped me get over that first hurdle. Might not be possible for everyone, but for me it was about taking that baby step.