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Original poster

If you live in a semi or terrace .....

54 replies

mayblossominapril · 25/04/2021 00:09

and an attached neighbours 3 year old woke up screaming and crying a few times per week between 11pm and 2am, would you be able to hear said child and how much would it bother you?

OP posts:
Changingwiththetimes · 25/04/2021 00:12

Probably be able to hear as there will be no other noises at that time. It would be annoying, but that's kids for you - I'm sure no one would like that child to not cry as much as the parents!

Changingwiththetimes · 25/04/2021 00:13

And if you are that parent, sympathies!

Original poster
mayblossominapril · 25/04/2021 00:15

I should add the crying can last a good hour

OP posts:
RoseMartha · 25/04/2021 00:17

I used to be a parent of such a three year old. Who is autistic.

I was constantly apologising to the neighbours when they complained.

I am still apologising to the neighbours but we now live in a flat and the dc are now teens.

All I can say that as the parent I felt very bad for my neighbours.

indiakulfi · 25/04/2021 00:17

Yes. We are a quiet house and I can hear every word of our neighbours conversations.

EvilOnion · 25/04/2021 00:30

We could in my last home, didn't bother me tbh. Not much that could be done - I knew the family well so I knew the situation.

They would also have to deal with it from ours - my youngest had the most bizarre screaming episodes which were put down to night terrors for quite a while around that age. She would scream, sob and throw herself around for anything between 10 minutes to an hour and there was nothing we could do to stop it. I felt terrible!

Do you have concerns for the child or is it just about the noise?

LadyBugg · 25/04/2021 00:50

We are in a terrace and we have one of those 3 year olds. The neighbours claim to hear nothing from him! I hear quite clearly their 6ft teenagers thundering up and down the stairs but I would also pretend not to if they asked Grin

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 25/04/2021 00:51

In my old house I would have heard every beat of this. I would have been annoyed initially - no-one likes being woken up in the middle of the night - but then I would have remembered DS went through a year of terrible night terrors that had the whole house up nightly and distressed him and me enormously, so then I'd remember my compassion, roll over and try to get back to sleep.

Shrivelled · 25/04/2021 01:02

My neighbours joked about my DC’s night screaming as they could hear it, but never actually complained. We can hear the neighbours turning on a light switch so the noise definitely travels!

Beebumble2 · 25/04/2021 07:05

A situation like that would be stressful enough for the parents without the added stress of worrying about neighbours. I wouldn’t complain, but might buy myself earplugs.

starbrightstarlight8888 · 25/04/2021 07:24

I used to live in a terrace and yes I heard the child next door screaming at night. It was awful and made me feel ill if it was a few nights in a row with unbroken sleep but I didn't complain to the parents.

I now live in a detached , couldn't go through that again.

WhoEatsPopTarts · 25/04/2021 07:27

I’m in a semi and can hear my neighbour depending which room they’re in. If I was woken by crying at night I’d be pissed off.

LakeShoreD · 25/04/2021 07:42

I imagine that anyone regularly woken by loud noise from next door would be annoyed. Not that I’d mention it to the parents though- I can’t imagine they enjoy sleepless nights and hearing their child scream for hours so I’m sure they are doing whatever they can to get their child back to sleep. Thankfully our terrace seems to have pretty good sound insulation as we don’t hear next door’s 3 kids except in the garden.

Imnotbent · 25/04/2021 07:43

I would hear if I didn’t wear ear plugs which I can’t when my grandchildren stay. One of my DGC used to cry a lot, loudly and was difficult to settle, how their neighbours didn’t complain or phone social services I don’t know.

Are you concerned for the child or is it more that it disturbs your sleep?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 25/04/2021 07:47

I used to hear my neighbours baby. I just felt sympathetic. I'm sure they could hear our toddler as well.
(Between us we had a baby, a 1yo, 2yo, 3yo and 5yo.)

Coachee · 25/04/2021 07:51

We rarely hear our neighbours except the occasional sneeze, or sometimes the tv, phone or loud laughter if our house is otherwise silent. Both sides are retired.

We have a three year old and she went through a phase from 1.5 - 2.5 of getting very upset at nighttime wakes. They definitely heard it. I felt so bad.

Hmmph · 25/04/2021 07:54

I would hear child screaming and it would bother me as to why, especially if it went on for so long. I would be woken and be grumpy from broken nights.

However, I’d also understand it wasn’t deliberate and couldn’t be helped/prevented if I was told it was night terrors. If I wasn’t told anything, I would be worried about the child and might report it.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 25/04/2021 08:08

Are you our neighbour?! If so, it's more than a few times a week, it's every night; I can hear it so clearly that I've gotten up in the night before to go to the crying child only to realise it's YOURS, and whilst until recently we've had nothing but sympathy because god knows we've been there (our two long past that stage thankfully!), it is starting to grate a lot, especially as it's quite often clearly just temper and she's old enough now to be taught to use her words!

Also, whatever she was banging against the radiator this morning before 7am was obnoxiously loud and you really should've stopped her sooner!!

And breath...Confused

Solina · 25/04/2021 08:09

We live next to a screaming child. Can hear it and it is daily. Don't always wake us up as the child is older so mostly day time/evening but if we do get woken up it is normally very early morning.

It is very annoying but I would never dream of complaining about it. The neighbours are lovely and have apologised to us but we always tell them it is ok. It is just part and parcel of living next to people.

That said, can't wait to buy a detached house Grin

PeppaPan · 25/04/2021 08:10

Night terrors! Poor child and poor parents.

2 words OP: Be kind.

Earplugs are your friend here.

Muststopeating · 25/04/2021 08:11

@Hmmph

I would hear child screaming and it would bother me as to why, especially if it went on for so long. I would be woken and be grumpy from broken nights.

However, I’d also understand it wasn’t deliberate and couldn’t be helped/prevented if I was told it was night terrors. If I wasn’t told anything, I would be worried about the child and might report it.

So you would report a child that wakes in the night to SS if the parents didn't think to come and justify said crying to you???

My god am I glad I live in the back end of beyond.

My kids sleep well (thank goodness) but DS had a stage of waking up completely hysterical and no amount of cuddling, ssshing, singing, water, etc could calm him. I still haven't figured out whether it was night terrors but he still sometimes wakes up like this after a nap.

OP I'm afraid if this does annoy you then YOU need to solve that yourself. Earplugs, change bedrooms, move. But there is nothing you can reasonably expect the parents to do. Quite sure they don't enjoy it either. If someone had a miracle way to make small children sleep then they'd be a millionaire (note the massive market that already exists in sleep advice/sleep aids).

NoBetterthanSheShouldBe · 25/04/2021 08:13

I would be able to hear it but would probably sleep through it.

I wouldn’t complain, I’d hope they were sleep training and it would all be over in a few weeks.

Trinacham · 25/04/2021 08:14

Mid terrace here.
I don't think I would hear it as we never hear anything, apart from DIY, when he's drilling into our adjoining wall. Neighbour on the other side we hear nothing ever. I always wonder if children lived next door would we hear, but that is more likely going to be us making the noise in the next few years! It does worry me a little whether the neighbours will hear and mind.

It would bother me a little as we work full time and I need my full sleep, but I would also understand that it is a child, and they do that.

Hmmph · 25/04/2021 08:23

So you would report a child that wakes in the night to SS if the parents didn't think to come and justify said crying to you???

I would be concerned about a child (toddler not baby) screaming for an hour or so in the middle of the night regularly, yes. If I didn’t know why they were screaming (because I was unable to ask the parents) and depending on what I saw/ heard in relation to the child in the daytime, yes I would consider calling because I was worried about the child’s welfare.

If I was the parent of the toddler, I would apologise to neighbours and tell them the child was having night terrors. People are much more understanding and forgiving if you apologise and explain to them.

Ansjovis · 25/04/2021 08:27

I live in the middle of a group of three, built early 2000s. Across both sides three babies have been born in the time we've lived here and we've heard absolutely nothing. However, we used to live in a 1960s house and you could hear absolutely everything from next door. If we were able to hear regular screaming and crying in the night yes it would bother me but I'd invest in the best earplugs I could get and try and have as much sympathy with the parent as I could.