HELP! To sell up or not to sell up??!

[GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal]

I just typed out a really long post with all of the backstory and issues and emotions involved, and Mumsnet bloody are it before I could post it!

This is the short version - we love our tiny Victorian terrace, which is in a fabulous, central location and a friendly community, but the DC have only tiny bedrooms, which is going to become more of an issue as they get older (they're 9 and 7); and it's just generally too small, and we're in a bit of a black hole as far as secondary schools are concerned. Our best bet would be the two local single sex schools - we have a DD and a DS - but they're not guaranteed and we're not sure we want them at single sex schools.

Moving out to the suburbs would get us a bigger house, more space, and would put us closer to the excellent co-Ed schools. But we'd have to run a second car (and pay for extortionate station parking), DH's commute would get even longer, and instead of living in the bustling, pretty city centre, which we love, we'd be on a fairly soulless estate with nothing much around us.

Over Easter we decided to bite the billet, and have appointed an Estate Agent, but I'm having massive second thoughts. I love our little house, I'm more worried at the thought it might sell than it might not!

We can't extend it any further than we already have, and as well as the kids' tiny bedrooms there's no study or quiet area for DH and he's going to be WFH more often in the future, so that may become an issue.

It feels like a head over heart issue, and I really don't know what to do. Please advise, wise Mumsnetters!

The girls school would be an asset if we knew she'd definitely get jn, but she'd have missed out (just) on distance twice in the last four years, so it's by no means guaranteed.

Unless DS has a major charge of personality by Y6 I can't see him suiting the boys' school at all. Even our current head, who went their himself said "it suits some boys very well, and others not at all, and at the moment he's very much of the latter type."

I've been calling our outdoor space a garden, but it's really only a courtyard, and it's tiny. It has room for a small patio set and a few pots, but not much else.

If we stay long term we'd have to look into converting the loft. I had thought about losing the box room to stairs to the loft room, and putting a study area underneath them. That way we'll still have only 3 bedrooms, but they'll all be (small) doubles.

My main concern would be the schools. Sounds like a bit of a risk where you are now. However, there's no immediate rush - you could take your time.

Estates do vary. Lots of new build estates around here and some are more aesthetically pleasing and 'leafy' than others. It takes time to build a community. For us, space is important. For our children to have a decent space that is their own, so they can have their friends over is important and more so as they get older.

You could always view the move as a long term but temporary move and go back to a smaller house once kids are older and have left.

The estates we'd be considering are not new builds, they're 60s/70s, so not the prettiest. There are a couple of new build estates, but the houses themselves are actually pretty small inside - I don't want to pay over the odds for something not much bigger and a lot less convenient than we've got, just because it's new!

Quite a few houses on our street have gone on the market lately. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing if trying to sell ours? Several of them sold very quickly.

So I've just found out something about the admission rules for both the co-eds we'd be interested in: both state that if applying under "nearest school" rule, you have to have been resident at that address for a minimum of 12 months at time of application.

This means to get either of them we'd have to have sold, found a house near one of the schools, and be in it by 31st October. Is that even possible? It doesn't seem possible - the amount we'd be looking for our property would put it beyond most first time buyers, so we'd likely end up in a chain.

If not possible it seems like we'd be better off staying put and hoping we get the girls school for DD.

I think you could move in time.

What’s currently up for sale in the estates that would give you access to the co-ed schools?

IMO it’s it worth moving for space. It just becomes storage for Stuff - and it’s stuff you don’t love or need anyway.

So if boils down to schools.

You could rent your current house out and rent in the new catchment in time for Oct if that’s what you wanted. If you hated living in the ‘burbs - you could move back to you old house as per any school criteria - or you could wait to see if she gets the city centre option and then decide to apply late to the ‘burb one if this process was allowed.

Schools are more important IMHO.

I agree with PP that big space just accumulates more stuff.

So, after a conversation with a friend with older children who gave two very useful pieces of advice (1:if we stay where we are we'll almost certainly get the excellent girls' school for DD, 2: concentrate on the child who's moving up to secondary, as you'll drive yourself mad if you worry about the younger child too, and so much might change by the time it's their turn), we had pretty much decided to stay put.

But both DC have been talking, wistfully, about wishing they had a bigger house and garden. DS was just saying he wishes our garden was big enough for a swing! I'm worried staying put because we like the house and love the location is a selfish thing to do? And moving to a bigger house but staying in this area would be difficult because city centre houses here are so expensive!

I think you have loads of time to suck it and see with a 7 year old. Your DD could get the good city centre school and if you needed to move in 4 years for your DS then she could commute into school.

Sounds like they have an lovely established community which is more important than a swing!

Could you use the money you were planning to use moving on more weekend breaks or a camper van etc with the kids?

I think the trouble is that, once you live somewhere with everything on your doorstep and fabulous neighbours, it is hard to get excited about having to jump in a car for everything.

Are there no parks nearby with swings?

Admittedly Covid has messed up DC's social lives but mine rarely had people "to play". After the age of 10/11. They go into town, swimming, bike rides....

I would look again at a room in the roof. I've seen some really good ones with Juliet balcony velux etc. Get yourself a good architect.