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Original poster

how far would u go to get a house?

20 replies

lovecamping · 11/11/2007 08:34

i know its probably unreasonable, but i'm wanting us to mortgage ourselves to the hil to get the house that i want (half our monthly income on the mortgage). and its beginning to really upset me because it looks unlikely ....

so how far would you go, have you gone to get the house that you love??

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 11/11/2007 08:38

you need to think about what will happen if interest rates rise again

how much would you be able to stand financially?

Original poster
lovecamping · 11/11/2007 08:41

i dont know really, its all dh's money. he's reluctant and would rather lose the house, but i cant. it is a house for the long term, we would not need to move again.

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 11/11/2007 08:45

Even if you didn't need to move again, does this house need lots of work done/maintenance?

You need to ask DH about the finances - if he is reluctant then you need to sit down with a budget and figure out why

FWIW, on a big mortgage if rates go up, then it can be another £x amount per month extra coming out and on a fixed income this can present problems

CantSleepWontSleep · 11/11/2007 08:49

When I bought my first house, the mortgage was half my monthly income, but it was a fairly new house so maintenance was low, and I was still training as an accountant, so knew that my salary would increase significantly over the following couple of years, thus easing the burden. What are the chances of your incomes increasing in the near future?

Original poster
lovecamping · 11/11/2007 08:50

the house is has been really well maintained, loads of storage, huge garden and we would never need to do anything to it. it really is perfect for us.

dh gets a bonus every year so that would go into the mortgage if interest rates went up..

dh thinks we spends loads at the moment and thinks we would not be able to cut down - i disagree, i know i'll be able to spend less

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 11/11/2007 08:54

you both have to love the house you want to buy!

sit down with your DH with a budget and discuss it

if you do go for it, then you need to ask about how often boiler has been maintained etc, does it need re-wiring (have a full survey) so you don't have any nasty surprises that can cost a lot

noddyholder · 11/11/2007 09:02

It is only a house think about the rest of your life too!Prices are on the way down aswell Maybe not a crash but a reduction so why not wait a bit and then he will feel more confident.Are you really prepared to completely change your lifestyle?No houses never need anything doing to them don't be fooled!We took on a huge mortgage to buy a house to get ds into a particular school I thought I would be prepared to make all teh sacrifices going as it was a big house in a posh road but when you are in on a winter night on the sofa with your family you really could be anywhere!We sold it after a year as we could see that holidays would be a thing of the past and every penny was tied up in it!

CantSleepWontSleep · 11/11/2007 09:02

and can we have a link to the house so that we can see if it really is gorgeous or not .

Original poster
lovecamping · 11/11/2007 09:07

have tried to find it but cant seem to. we had a full survey and its all came back fine. we do have some savings also.

its so hard, so much of my emotions seem to be tied to getting this house. cant seem to even think about not getting the house

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 11/11/2007 09:12

please try not to get too attached (easier said than done, i know)

Original poster
lovecamping · 11/11/2007 09:39

its been a bad year for me and i've attached so much to getting this house, somehow if we got it, there would something to look forward to.

dh thinks its perfect for us too but is more detached. whereas it think it would immediately improve our day to day life.

god its so hard ...

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 11/11/2007 09:44

i think men and women view things like this differently (generalisation alert)

Me and DH are on our 4th move in (just under) 6 years - i sobbed bitter tears when we left our old house, DH was totally dry eyed!

sounds like this house is much more than a house - perhaps you need to talk through this with your DH

getting in over your heads financially will not ultimately improve your day to day life

FWIW, i am in the long process of trying to buy a house and am constantly trying to stop myself "mentally moving in"

Original poster
lovecamping · 11/11/2007 09:48

i've tried talking to him, but he's not a big talker ... emotionally stunted (?)

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 11/11/2007 09:49

he may find it hard to talk, as he knows you love the house so much and doesn't want to disapoint you if he says you can't go for it

noddyholder · 11/11/2007 09:52

The things that really change and improve your life are not material but inside you.Have you thought about why you are getting so attached to something that atm belongs to someone else?You have no proof that your life will bwe better in this house Same life different wallpaper!

inthegutter · 11/11/2007 10:08

lovecamping - the house does sound lovely but I agree with noddyholder that the things that really make your life what you want it to be are not material goods. If you set yourself up to expect the house to provide the entire answer to all life's problems, you're going to be disappointed. You also mention that it would be DH's earnings funding this hugely expensive lifestyle. If he is reluctant you must listen to him. Maybe he feels a huge unspoken pressure to provide what you want him to provide. This is the kind of scenario that could have big repurcussions. If he is working long hours in a demanding job (you don't say what he does but I guess he must be fairly high powered from your post) then maybe the last thing he needs is the pressure of paying half his earnings on the mortgage, Maybe he needs to have holidays/days out/other things more than the house.

Sidge · 11/11/2007 14:47

"we would never need to do anything to it"

Houses ALWAYS need things doing to them, even new houses take maintenance. It might not need major work now but houses are expensive, and things need doing which can cost big bucks.

I would be very wary of having a mortgage half our monthly income. If rates go up, even slightly, you are stuffed.

Original poster
lovecamping · 11/11/2007 19:53

I know you are all right ladies. its a huge risk and its alot to expect of dh. its very hard to detach myself from this house.

OP posts:
Original poster
lovecamping · 11/11/2007 22:40

we've just had a look at our finances and we can do it!!! it wont be half our monthly income and dh is comfortable with the figures.

we've got a fixed rate for 5 yrs on the mortgage so thats a little relief and we've got some savings for anything that needs doing.

now we've just to go get a buyer for our house...

thank you ladies for all your advice - it really put things into prospective for me ... there are a few other issues that has caused me to view it more than a house (baby was premature, sister died and my general inability to cope with a very active toddler) its been a tough year

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 12/11/2007 11:44

sounds like you have had a tough year
fingers crossed for you ...

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