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Original poster

Moving dilemma

18 replies

Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 12:40

We are totally stuck whether or not to move. Motivating factor is the local secondary, which is bad. We can't get into any other school where we currently live. Could pay for private but it would destroy our retirement. But, we really like the county we are in, can afford a big house with a good quality of life and have great neighbours. We live near some lovely countryside and beaches.

We could move to be nearer my DHs family, to a v expensive area with great schools. We would be nearer friends and family generally and could just about get a big enough house (we have 4 DC!), but we don't particularly like the area other than being closer to family. It would solve the school problem.

So, do we move and accept all the downsides, or say put and accept that the school will be a bit shit?

OP posts:
Ladyof · 06/04/2021 12:50

How bad is the school? Really bad or just not the best?

My daughter goes to a school which isnt great but to be honest she is doing really well there and sometimes it is down to the child and if they want to learn they will learn anywhere.

What are colleges like near you?

CellophaneFlower · 06/04/2021 12:50

How old are your children and what's making you decide the school is rubbish?

Original poster
Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 12:55

Oldest child is 9. School has always had a bad reputation locally and has generally quite a rough crowd. Results aren't as terrible as they could be, but it doesn't offer much extra like sport/art and the teaching is very uninspiring. We know a few kids who are just serving their time there! My DH is a teacher so he has a good insight into local schools. Particularly concerned because my eldest is not one of those 'bright kids who will do well anywhere' types. He struggles with motivation unless the lesson is really engaging.

OP posts:
dotdashdashdash · 06/04/2021 12:55

How bad is the school? Could you pay for tutors instead?

Original poster
Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 12:56

Colleges also not great unfortunately.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 12:58

X-post @dotdashdashdash. Yes we could, but I don't know if my eldest will be motivated enough to do a lot of work on top of school. Also concerned that he could be quite distracted/led astray by other kids. Younger DC not sure, they might fare better.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 12:59

@Ladyof my worry is about the ones who don't want to learn

OP posts:
maxelly · 06/04/2021 13:01

Hmm tough one, don't think there's a single right answer TBH. Personally I put a very high value on education so if local school is def that bad I'd either stay put and pay for private or move, I'm guessing with 4 x DC moving must be the cheaper option, that's going to be the thick end of half a million to put 4 kids through 7 years private school each even at a private school at the cheaper end of the spectrum and before extras and helping out with uni costs etc? And the trouble is that even if the local school improves drastically by the time your younger ones start, if the older ones have gone private it'll be difficult to send the others to the local comp...

What are the approximate sums, how much more expensive would a 'big enough' house in DH's family area as opposed to current property, how much extra mortgage would you take out - do remember that unlike paying private school fees, at least with the extra capital repayments on a bigger mortgage you will be building equity you'll get back someday? Any possibility of a compromise, a move to a 3rd area with reasonable schools but not as expensive as DH's family area, or would that be worst of both worlds?

I guess ultimately if you move it only needs to be for 10ish years (assuming your eldest is imminently starting secondary and your youngest is a toddler) - once you secure school place for the youngest via sibling priority or similar you can move away, maybe back to current area albeit they'll then have a longer commute to school. I know that will feel like a really long time now but it isn't forever or for the rest of your lives, you should be able to ditch the big expensive house and get a lovely retirement downsize near the beach once the school years are over?

CellophaneFlower · 06/04/2021 13:02

I feel your pain, that's a tough choice. I can see the school issue is a big deal for you though, and not sure you'd be content if you stayed put. Is moving to a totally different area an option? In an area you like but with better schools?

ClaryFairchild · 06/04/2021 13:04

Are there no other choices to move to? Still in your county but within catchment to a good school?

Original poster
Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 13:09

We could move to a third area, but it would be a total upheaval and no friends or family. Or we could move within the county to a better catchment, but we'd probably have to live in a city that we don't really like to do this. So downsides to these options but still possible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 13:11

Really appreciate the responses. I can see that maybe we have to move and see it as a ten-year thing rather than forever, but appreciate other perspectives, especially if you think I'm over-blowing the school issue. Education is important to us but I'm wary of disregarding everything else.

OP posts:
Banjobollo · 06/04/2021 17:42

We’re in the same boat as you and it’s such a hard decision! We’ve actually just put our house on the market and had offers straightaway but still not sure where we want to move...there are compromises with all the areas we are considering and we love our current house. It would be very easy to just stay and take a chance with the school but the results really aren’t good. My only advice would be don’t leave it until the last minute like we have...

Sprig1 · 06/04/2021 17:51

Instead of moving nearer family can you move just a short distance so that you are still close to the things you like about your current area but have access to a better school?

Sprig1 · 06/04/2021 17:52

Instead of moving nearer family can you move just a short distance so that you are still close to the things you like about your current area but have access to a better school?

Sprig1 · 06/04/2021 17:52

Instead of moving nearer family can you move just a short distance so that you are still close to the things you like about your current area but have access to a better school?

Sprig1 · 06/04/2021 17:53

Instead of moving nearer family can you move just a short distance so that you are still close to the things you like about your current area but have access to a better school?

Sprig1 · 06/04/2021 17:55

Sorry! It said it hadn't posted!

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