Am I stupid to move over bad neighbours?

[starsandstuff]

Me and my husband live in a little terraced house which we love. It’s tiny but we’ve done a lot to it and it’s perfect for us (no kids) apart from a lack of storage but we improvise. But the walls are very thin and on one side we have horrible neighbours who party at night and sit out drinking on their flat roof on sunny days, totally overlooking our backyard so if we’re sitting out we have to see them as well as listen to them loudly talk shite and drink and do coke. (Nothing wrong with those things per se, just not what I want to deal with in my own home.) They rent and I’ve contacted the landlord numerous times to be told that there’s nothing they can do - “tenants have rights” - and neither the police or council have been any use. Landlord also said their son will be going to Uni in 5 years and he’ll be living there so even if these ones go then there will be students living there and I definitely can’t complain to their mother if she’s not interested now.

So we finally decided we had enough and out our house up for sale. The prices are crazy here at the minute in the area we want, so we currently have a large offer on a nice semi with a back garden. But I don’t actually know if I want to move. I’ve just got a promotion at work but I’ve hit the ceiling of how far I can (and would want to) go wage wise so I’ll be making the biggest investment I ever will and I don’t know if it’s worth it. The new house will be fully £100k more than ours to buy an extra tiny box room and a garden, but we love the area we live in and we don’t want to move far and houses don’t come up that often there. The inside is nice - parts of it aren’t as bright as ours - but the upstairs is smaller. But they’ve done a lot of work to it so we could pretty much just move straight in. We have a ton of viewers coming to ours next week and the agent says it’ll sell fast and I feel really rushed in to things. I like the new house but don’t love it, but it’s a better street and presumably will have less shitehawkery from the neighbours. But I love our house and would be happy to stay there, but even if these neighbours move out it’s always going to be a terrace with the potential for having loud people basically in the room next door. So part of me says keep wearing earplugs and just deal with it and part says just go and learn to love the new place and even if it’s too much money we’re not planning on ever moving anywhere else. I think I want to be told that I won’t regret moving to a (slightly) bigger house with a definitely lovely garden (also rare where we are) and that you moved from a terrace and now adore the peace and quiet. Any thoughts?

I do not understand how you have had an offer accepted on a property you want to buy when your's has not sold yet?
That aside I do not blame you and it must be a difficult decision to move from a home you love essentially because of the neighbours.
I now live in a semi after being detached for years and the walls are thin.
My attached neighbour's are middle aged nd when it is just the two of them...wel basically I think they do not talk. However their daughter and her young child live with them and the screaming and shouting gets me down. How one child can cause so much noise is beyond me and I can hear her from wherever I am in the house.
I too am considering moving, one minute I think 'better the devil you know' and I am worried about having thin walls and noisy neighbours again. The only way is detached but that cannot happen unfortunately.

They'll only be attached to neighbours on one side @GreyhoundG1rl, halving the chance of noisy next door at any one time. Three bedroom semis with good gardens aren't the most attractive proposition for most student BTL's, and even if OP does get landed with crappy adjoining neighbours at some point they'll still have a property worth 100k more than their current place to sell and buy something else.

Is there no landlord licence system where you live..??..there is in our borough and these issues are not as bad as used to be....i luckily have great neighbours so never had issues except with the rich chavs opposite who inherited even more money so they moved out !

Oh do move! I moved because of horrendous neighbours and plan to buy a detached. I will be taking on a bigger mortgage but my health was in pieces leaving our old house.

Lived in a amazing characterful very old (1850) terraced house which everyone who stepped over the threshold loved and gushed about. Tiny yard. But gorgeous ceiling heights, features, and neighbours both sides who drove me nuts and like you had no end in sight.

Took a deep breath and moved one street away to a newer detached house but still crammed - close neighbours with dogs, loud cars, garden parties till late and general annoyance. 5 years later we’ve moved again, to a house with no more size but a bigger plot and space between us and the next. So far so good.

I still have strong feeling for that lovely terraced house. My babies were born there. But no matter how much I loved it other stuff tainted that. When the neighbours were on holiday it was like a different world. House 2 showed me detached isn’t always the answer either. We regret that move. But it was better.

For me it was about area. And research. We sat in our car here many times after our offer was accepted. Warm days. Cold days. Bank holidays. Rush hour. We just wanted to see what the behaviour was like. We talked to all the neighbours . We asked if they’ve ever been kept awake through parties, or noisy dogs, and we made sure the versions added up. We had at least 10 discussions.

It’s a massive commitment. Buying into a semi nearby doesn’t necessarily absolve the issues. I think you should move but do your research very carefully.

^^. Very wise post.

Do it.
I had no idea how much my noisy neighbour (opposite, would you believe) had destroyed my mental health until I moved.

I would move too, in a heartbeat. But blundering into another potential disaster would be heartbreaking for op. She needs to arm herself with as much information as possible, not jump in feet first.

I used to live in a house with not nice neighbours. We moved (not because of the neighbours).

We have lovely neighbours at our new house. It makes a huge difference to our overall enjoyment of our property. If noise had been a problem, I would have been at the end of my tether. The environment you live in does affect your wellbeing.

We used to have noisy neighbours and when we moved I realised how much stress was released by not being worried about their noise and being kept up. It’s hard when you like your house but even if those neighbours had moved (we lived in a flat) I think I’d always have been worried about new noisy neighbours moving in

I didn’t move because of unpleasant neighbours, there were other reasons and this was a move borne out of desirability not necessity, BUT having moved to a house with absolutely wonderful neighbours (who then moved to the country but we’re still friends, and the new people who moved in are also super-lovely), it made a huge difference to how much we love living in the new house.

Ha @Cailleach1 I’ve realised I’ve said pretty much exactly the same thing as you.

It's absolutely not stupid if it's important to you and it's making you unhappy and uncomfortable. You're so lucky you're in a position to move. My OH has been made redundant twice in the last 12 months and is very cautious by nature anyway so even though he has a new job, it'll be at least a year before he'll consider moving. We live in a tiny terraced house in London and a young couple moved next to us last July. The DIY noise has been pretty brutal at times but kind of understandable I guess. The worst thing is the guy who moved in is incredibly noisy, he's heavy footed and seemingly never fucking still, constantly slamming doors and cupboards. He can't just talk normally, he has to SHOUT. He works shifts so it's like an explosion of noise every time he gets home from work. They've also carried on entertaining during lockdown and I'm very fearful of when restrictions are lifted as they'll probably have loads of noisy parties and take over the back garden which was my refuge and saviour last summer when I was furloughed. He's out there now hammering while it snows!
OH just says it doesn't really bother him but we row about it often. I just feel really trapped, so it's brilliant you are able to get away if you want. I'd say go for it.

**He can't just talk normally, he has to SHOUT.

Omg this! Even when they’re not actively partying (which they’re actually doing as we speak) the guy shouts constantly. I’m like your house is as tiny as ours, no one is ever more than 6 feet away from you just frigging speak normally!! And he regularly has screaming arguments with people - his girlfriend (whose laugh makes me want to stab myself in the ears) and various family members. Honestly, this thread has really helped me. The fact that I can get away is a real privilege and I should be grateful. Our offer isn’t accepted yet, we’re bidding against someone else. We were thinking that if they outbid us again maybe we should leave it (that’s where I was at writing this post) but now actually I’m praying they accept ours! It will be subject to ours being sold but I bought it cheaply and there’s a lot of equity in it so we’ll have a very big deposit and the agent said the fact that it’s not actually sold yet won’t be an issue as we’ll just be in a chain (I’ve never sold a house before, and this will only be the second I’ve bought, so I thought that was all fairly standard?) Anyway fingers crossed now that I actually really want it!!

It’s sooo worth it! I lived in a terrace with a continuous baby’s on one side and a family with 2 teenage boys on the other.
Either the baby would be crying or the family on the other side would be arguing.

@Mykittensmittens

Lived in a amazing characterful very old (1850) terraced house which everyone who stepped over the threshold loved and gushed about. Tiny yard. But gorgeous ceiling heights, features, and neighbours both sides who drove me nuts and like you had no end in sight.

Took a deep breath and moved one street away to a newer detached house but still crammed - close neighbours with dogs, loud cars, garden parties till late and general annoyance. 5 years later we’ve moved again, to a house with no more size but a bigger plot and space between us and the next. So far so good.

I still have strong feeling for that lovely terraced house. My babies were born there. But no matter how much I loved it other stuff tainted that. When the neighbours were on holiday it was like a different world. House 2 showed me detached isn’t always the answer either. We regret that move. But it was better.

For me it was about area. And research. We sat in our car here many times after our offer was accepted. Warm days. Cold days. Bank holidays. Rush hour. We just wanted to see what the behaviour was like. We talked to all the neighbours . We asked if they’ve ever been kept awake through parties, or noisy dogs, and we made sure the versions added up. We had at least 10 discussions.

It’s a massive commitment. Buying into a semi nearby doesn’t necessarily absolve the issues. I think you should move but do your research very carefully.

I feel a bit like this, which I realise is going against the grain of the thread. We moved from a tiny terrace which I adored - honestly, the moment I set foot in it I just knew it was 'my' house - to a bigger semi. We needed the space, it was a practical move. But I miss that house horribly, and I do a bit hate this current house. (Not helped by the fact that our current neighbours are noisy idiots, and our previous ones were lovely.)

I suppose what I'm saying is the grass isn't always greener. We had to move - needed more space - but I do regret it and am sad to be living here now. Think carefully before moving to a house you don't love, if that's what you currently have.

This has helped me as well, @starsandstuff. I can't move but at least I feel like I'm not BU, it's hard when your OH doesn't really get it. I really hope it all goes well for you and you get sorted.

We moved because of the neighbours, we moved into a detached house and the sense of peace is lovely. I didn't realise how stressed I felt until we'd moved. Much much happier now.

I moved because of annoying neighbours... its about 2 weeks in to new home & I can FINALLY relax. Worth it for me...

I've moved because of bad neighbours before now. [I've had problems with some too but not enough to move house, it's been manageable]. It seems an obvious thing to do if you can if it's not too disruptive or causing financial difficulties. One's mental health has to be priority.

I've had problems living in detached places though...not with noise but very unpleasant personalities]... and happy in a semi now. But if my [good] neighbour moves and I get a problem with the new neighbour I will go.

I have the opposite issue, my house isn't perfect but it's in a really nice location and I have excellent neighbours who aren't going anywhere.

This is my situation too. I live in a small terrace in London, which presumably has very thick walls as I never ever hear our neighbours! They’re all genuinely lovely people too and I feel so lucky to have them. I’m thinking of moving but am too worried that we will end up with awful neighbours, so keep putting it off. I think I’ll stay where I am!

I also don’t understand why people think detached houses are the be all and end all. If you live in a detached property that’s near to other detached properties, you can still have a nightmare with neighbours if they’re noisy in their gardens.

I’m really quite passionate about this issue and you’ll often find me on threads about neighbours as (as I said upthread) it ended up making me move from a house i genuinely loved.

But you are right @lllllllllll detached doesn’t solve. Unless it’s detached and distanced. Our interim detached move was fine inside, in the winter, with the windows shut. The minute the sun came out so did the wankers. It’s just the lack of social awareness and the total ignorance that other people may not want to hear your music/precious dog/conversations/TVs etc.

We left behind in the terrace a couple who had their radio on 14 hours a day, 9 months of the year. My back door and her back door were 10ft apart and faced each other. Yeah yeah it’s ‘daytime’ noise - so what?? Well, maybe I want to be in my kitchen NOT hearing your radio and NOT boiling with my windows shut? And she did a lot of noisy daytime shagging. And had a lot of dinner parties. And a fucking piano. Which she let the kids at the dinner parties play. Like Les Dawson.

And in the detached we were surrounded. I felt so penned in. I couldn’t ever sit in my garden without hearing so much stuff - endless, hours and hours every day of this totally uncontrolled terrier yapping. With unfettered dog flap door access. I went to the bin: barked. I put the washing out: barked. I opened a window: barked. Scraped a chair: barked. Postman: barked. Plane: barked. Another dog: barked. A voice: barked. Just thinking about it now makes me grit my teeth. And it’s owners were shouters. One would spend HOURS every day in the garden listening to some crappy sports thing and the other would just shout entire conversations from the house. I dreamt of smashing that radio to pieces. And that would clash beautifully with a radio from another direction, or all night parties, post-pub ‘comebacks’....and outdoor TVs - which genius in a suburban area would ever think they’re okay? And most of this stuff can be done with headphones in but people just don’t bother?

Anyway, I can feel my blood pressure going up! I just stop!!

Not stupid but in order to be fair to the people buying your house you should let them know the neighbour situation. Otherwise you are just tricking them into the same situation you are in now and that is wrong.

@MrsKingfisher

We moved because of the neighbours, we moved into a detached house and the sense of peace is lovely. I didn't realise how stressed I felt until we'd moved. Much much happier now.

How do you think the people who bought your house are getting on? I hope you let them know the situation before they bought it.