I really need help narrowing down this list

[donaldbump]

I’ve posted on here many times and this is the last time I do this as we have to make a decision and get on with our lives!
Currently in commuter belt surrey. I’ve not jelled with it because:- I can hear the motorway constantly, I find it a bit bland, there isn’t much to do, can be quite stuffy and Tory, have to drive 30-45 mins to visit somewhere decent eg good countryside or into London. I also have negative associations with it as had difficult early years with baby here. Anyway on the positives I like:- nice community, safe, easy to park, enough essential shops, commute fine. Kids like it.
I feel we’d all benefit from a bit more to do. And def for kids when they are teens. I like the idea of an attraction that we use after school like a big river or park for some reason. Also essential is schools - we can go private, I’d like somewhere that isn’t too far away. If they can walk to school amazing. somewhere a bit arty perhaps though not a deal breaker, nice green space/nature on doorstep. We need to be in London 1-2 week so this has opened up options. I’d love a period home with large garden. I’d rather a bigger non overlooked garden than a period home though.
I’m currently unsure whether to move further out or back into London. The other issue is where our parents are - southwest and East Anglia! I think if my parents were further west we would move to Bristol/Bath in a heartbeat but it’s just too far from my mum.
So we’ve come up with these but I need to decide:-
Tun Wells - worried it’s still a bit bland/Tory
Petersham/Teddington - chose here as plane noise not so bad and still villagey. But it’s really expensive and Teddington is suburbia. Will it still be a bit bland?
Lewes/Hove - more my cup of tea but know no one and I can’t figure out the schools. Either seem dire or super elite (Brighton College).
Woodbridge - near mum and seems to tick most boxes but v quiet and commute bad. No friends there.
Countryside somewhere - but where? Could afford a bigger place but would it be too quiet? I keep trying to find a village near a city but can’t!!
Somewhere completely different - I’ve had Sunbury, Berkhamsted, Cambridge, Winchester mentioned but do not know them at all. And I think that might be a step too far as felt wobbly about all this for years.
If you’ve made it this far thank you. I’ve become
V scared of this move as I think I’m associating it with making the wrong move before so finding it all very overwhelming. We need to sort this out as we are renting and got school deadlines coming up.

Teddington has just been rated one of the best places to live hasn't it? I used to work there back in the 80s and I remember the Tesco running out of milk on Friday nights (those were the days of half day closings too). Anyway it has come on leaps and bounds. A lot if shops and not too far from Richmond or Kingston or London (I used to cycle to work from Putney).
I think it sounds like you want to be in or very near a sizable town with quick links to a city.
I love Cambridge and Winchester is also top for great places to live in pols. But perhaps rent before you buy? It is tricky with kids though as you really don't want them to just start to get settled when you decide to move again.

What's your budget and what are you looking for in terms of bedrooms/bathrooms?

I’d move back into London - what’s your budget? Can you move in further? Richmond? Kew? Wimbledon? Barnes? (Common, Parks, River, wetlands centre etc) easy commute, good schools, and all of London accessible for things to do with good public transport which is awesome for teenagers.

I feel some sympathy- we moved to surrey surburbs with small kids and I just didn’t fit in at all - we have moved to a different country and are back with 30 mins walk of the city centre and it’s been so much easier to find ‘my people’ here.

What about Petersfield or Winchester?

I love West Bridgford in Nottingham but they may be a bit too far away if you work in London unless you can mainly work from home?

What's your budget? i'd be wary of SW London suburbs if you are worried about plane noise, if Heathrow manage to open another terminal its going to get even worse.

Sherborne St John - village near Basingstoke; Sanderstead or Warlingham - villages close to Croydon

What’s your budget?

I was going to suggest Petersfield as well. Good for the SW, countryside, London work commute.

Petersfield, haslemere, Farnham or goldalming would all fit your criteria and have v good schools. Or dorking is a bit more arty.

Your situation is so difficult because you can't really compare the places in your list. I think you need to really work out exactly what you want or find a focus e.g. schools which will narrow the search.

However, I think you are going to find most of the places outside London not dissimilar to where you are now (apart from Lewes/Hove). I think it sounds like you actually are yearning to be somewhere like Petersham/Teddington etc. Can you afford what you want there? What schools would work? What do your children like? Do you think they would love London (especially as they get older) or want to be close to lots of outdoor activities (in which case definitely out of London).

We moved from SW London to somewhere mentioned above specifically for a school as were floundering around trying to work out where to move to as needed a change for a few reasons. It is working for us... but I do expect us to move back to somewhere like Petersfield in 10/15 years though...

Thanks. I’ve been reluctant to head further southwest as I’m not sure Surrey really suits me iyswim. Also further from my mum. I love the South Downs though. I’ll go and have a look at Petersfield. We have around £1.5-7m max. I’m battling with wanting to be back in London but also wanting to have space and outdoorsy stuff to do for me and kids. Hence the list is so varied. Maybe I should try and just make it work where we are.

We choose Petersham as it’s got Grey Court but also can try for grammars and selective privates so a good choice. Plus it’s slightly off the flight path but still just about walkable to Richmond station. Similar for other places - all have good schools (except Hove/Lewes which I can’t quite work out)

Where we are the kids will have to commute for schools but there is a good choice within half hour.

I was going to say Guildford. I’m totally thrown by Woodbridge on your list. That doesn’t seem to fit with your needs.

However, having seen your budget, I would go for Richmond / Kew. The gardens alone would be amazing.

I would move near Brighton

I would recommend Saffron Walden. It's also easy to get onto the A11 and then A14 to get to Woodbridge fairly quickly.

Woodbridge is just because it’s near my mum and on a train line. I think the commute is just too long though. And really I love Suffolk but just for a visit.

Canterbury? Three private schools and a couple of grammars. The high speed to London is just over an hour. It's big enough to have shops and things going on, but small enough to be able to get out and about. The main downside is that there are a lot of tourists, but it is a place which is special enough to have people come from all over the world to see it.

I actually think Petersham might be perfect from what you say (and I have lived in a few of the places mentioned above!).

Farnham, Guildford.. there is a place called Frensham ponds with an amazing arty private school, loads of private schools in that area. And the ponds are go-to activity place.

Worth a visit for a look around if nothing else.

Will your kids want ‘outdoorsy’ as teens?

With your budget I’d move to Herne Hill in London. Right on the edge of Brockwell Park and the Lido, walkable to Dulwich Park, near to Sydenham Woods, Crystal Palace Park etc. Walkable to the Ritzy and Brixton’s new theatre, tons for teens to do, teeming with good private schools, and Charter and Kingsdale for state. Farmers and artisan market at the weekend.

It depends really exactly what activities you want to be doing regularly like say once a week.

We moved walkable to a school and that has worked very well for us with teenagers as lots of activities are also based there, we are rural and there's lots of areas with not much to do but we seem to be the centre of everything.

I would think a lot about activities for you and the children / your husband - are there some that can only be done in London, some that need a city or can you do them from anywhere that say has a river.

Location wise I think Cambridge could be good, commutable to London, excellent schools and not too far from your Mum and a river which you can punt, canoe, row on everyday in non covid times.

Somewhere like this in walkable to excellent schools, train stations, river, centre of Cambridge but more private than in the centre. It's a bit over budget but been on a year so think you could get in within your budget - no idea how the pricing is other than presumably over priced atm as been on so long.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/89726321#/

Botanical gardens are walkable and college backs are beautiful and lots of countryside around, can drive to see seals in Norfolk on weekends and see your Mum. Woodbridge I think would be too far from things. Lewes I know people who moved there who love it but its far from your Mum, think they have good schools but not sure where and may be state. I love the area around Kew / Richmond and would look at Teddington. Tunbridge Wells not sure will be sufficiently different though like it.

My kids idea of heaven would be this one and I would love it to but dread to think of the running costs but you would have no issue getting children to come to yours for playdates:

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/100477205#/

We had family in Teddington and I seriously miss their beautiful house there! They moved out to Farnham and doubled the size of the house for the same money.

You can get a lot with your budget if you go a little further out!

Thanks all. Really helpful. Will reply tomorrow.

I used to live in Petersham as a teen and I remember the planes flying so low that I could spot our house from a plane! So there definitely is plane noise. Still remember the excitement when the Concorde used to fly past!
But plane noise was worse in places like Richmond Green where planes were even lower.
Lovely area though!