Buying/ selling stress

[Teafirst]

Hi, I think I'm mainly after a handhold/ advice as I am just so done with all the stress.

We are relocating - DHs work has closed his office and you either took redundancy or relocated to a regional hub. Fine, we can do this - I'm a SAHM to 2 DS after being made redundant at the end of my mat leave in 2019.. We can move to nearer family so all good.

Our house is Edwardian terrace, clean, decorated but not done up - so no extension/ loft conversion. We price accordingly.

Put house on market - end Oct. Accept offer in a week
Drags on, but we're assured all is proceeding. Surveys, gas and electric checks all good. Day of exchange, our buyers buyer pulls out.
Put house back on market. Accept offer in a week - lower offer as first time buyer with massive deposit so no chain.

Her surveyor tears our house to shreds, apparently we have damp/ rot/ all manner of issues. We're stunned, but obviously get a specialist in to investigate - tiny bit if damp by patio can be treated. But she's not happy, wants to come in and have all floorboards up. I've said enough is enough. Either she buys it or doesn't. No word back from EA yet.

In meantime (November - just before tier 4 & Lockdown) we've had an offer accepted on a nice new build where we need to be - but they've been waiting in us to exchange and I'm guessing will pull out if this drags on. I'm wondering if our solicitor will be able to help if they do pull out.

I'm so done, I just want this sorted - selling when we've tried to meant we'd catch the stamp duty break, if we have to start again we'll lose that. I'm tired and unreasonable I know

I know in the grand scheme of things right now this is minor, but to me right now it's not and I'm just stuck in a process where there's not a whole lot I can do which is frustrating.

As I said handholds/ gentle advice gratefully received.

Handhold OP, sounds typical of a first time buyer to be honest, try not to panic. We have recently moved, it’s so bloody stressful, surely it’s about time the whole moving process had a complete overhaul. Good luck
I hope you move soon, we got there in the end and you will too.

Agree it's a nightmare. I'm moving 70 miles for new school, offer accepted on my house, made offer on house i want to buy. I ask agent if seller will vacate regardless of finding new home and told she will, so order searches and get survey done, only to be told the following day she needs to port her mortgage so will not move until she finds somewhere.
At the same tme I was told my buyers sale was quite far down the line only to be told actually they've only just asked for searches. It has taken my buyer seven weeks to book their surveyor.
And so I may end up renting in London, spending thousands, I have dogs so not easy, all because the system here is not binding and no timelines in place. Everyone in limbo, but you can't live in limbo.

Handhold from me as well, Teafirst. We are moving for the 5th time in about 7 years (one move to rented, one relocation that didn't work out, etc etc, can't seem to get it right) and it doesn't get any less stressful, you never get used to the uncertainty. I think the worst thing is the lack of control over the process, you are totally in someone else's hands and especially after your first experience you just wait for another bolt out of the blue happening at any moment so you can't relax.

We are at the stage of having sold our house, had an offer accepted on one we want, short chain. But people are weird and do unexpected things, so you never know what is going to happen.

I always try and think that if one thing goes wrong, then maybe that's our 'disaster' for now and other things will work out to balance out. Best of luck with your move anyway!