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Neighbour dispute pls advise

12 replies

littleHen84 · 26/03/2021 10:42

Hello, we had a wall approx 4 foot high the length of the garden and upto the back of the house. It was in a state of disrepair, weeds and tree roots had grown through from next doors side causing bricks to spall and huge chunks of render to come off. When our Son started walking we broached next door to start an open discussion on how to fix the problem. My partner offered to remove a large part of the render and see if bricks could be replaced and how structurally sound the wall was, this was not possible. It was also causing alot of damage to our property as water was getting behind the wall. So more talks where had, it was hard going nothing suggested was seemingly what next door wanted. We made it clear we would pay the only option was to take the wall down and replace with a fence. it cost us about £2,500. There has been lots of upset and anguish, we have always had good intentions and been open and discussed everything. One episode after alot of conversations i perhaps was a little short with them. I was in the garden and heard next door speaking to there neighbour as they are now erecting a fence a comment was made about us, i thought it was an opportunity to clear the air/apologise if upset has been caused. It well and truly blew up in my face about really minor issues, i don't know how to put this right or if its too far gone. It seems a shame to live side by side with an air of tension its not in my nature to be this way.

OP posts:
Chumleymouse · 26/03/2021 11:09

Just wipe some dog shit under the handle on their car . Some neighbours are real arses , we had one like this once everything was too much hassle even though they didn’t have to do anything or pay anything , just ignore them and move on , you sound too nice 😀

littleHen84 · 26/03/2021 12:56

Thank you for your reply, i've been feeling really anxious about it and not sleeping. I think its when you don't know what you've done to cause such a reaction, feel self conscious even going into the garden. I am
sure there will be another crisis to avert there attention soon Smile

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Midlifephoenix · 26/03/2021 13:43

Was it a shared wall? I bought a house with crumbling brick walls on both sides. I had young children and dogs. It was not clear on the deeds who was responsible for which side, so I wrote to both neighbours, introducing myself and how happy we were to be moving to the neighbourhood and did they know? I suggested we pay half each. One side was a 95 year old woman who was happy for me to replace the wall but could not afford to help pay for it; the other neighbour slammed the door in my face and said he had contacted his lawyers!! I had no idea why he thought he needed to escalate it - I had written the letter and when I didn't hear back had popped around with my 6 year old daughter to introduce ourselves in person. He barely even looked at me just said 'I've contacted my lawyer - that's what you get with that attitude'! Bam! I was mortified and felt awful that my daughter witnessed it.
He then came around and told a workman that it was my wall my responsibility. So I paid for both sides (and had the good side facing me, which is not the convention). I've never spoken to that man since (been here 8 years now), though his wife is ok.

sarahc336 · 26/03/2021 13:50

Op you sound nothing but friendly and professional in the matter, I suspect they'd have had something to say about any matter you had to broach with them. Don't give them any more of your time, life's too short snd hey also sound like gossips, best to be avoided inthink, chin up xx

littleHen84 · 26/03/2021 14:03

Midlifephoenix wow how do these people get by in life being so awful? That sounds like such a lovely calm friendly approach! Blimey people will always suprise me! I wonder what it is about garden walls that sends people skywards? Grin

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user1471538283 · 26/03/2021 18:09

Have nothing to do with them. They are neither friend nor family. After my last experience of neighbours I will never even speak to any of them

TobyHouseMan · 26/03/2021 20:22

Whatever you're neighbours are like be very grateful you don't have the utter low-life turds we do.

littleHen84 · 27/03/2021 10:03

Thank you for your replys its sad to hear so many people have rubbish neughbours, i will just ignore from now on feel like my anxiety about it is dwindling as the days pass.

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littleHen84 · 27/03/2021 10:04

Tobyhouseman sorry to hear that it sounds like a tough situation

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Wimp · 05/04/2021 23:01

Hi I was wondering if anyone has any advice? We have been pestered since we moved into our property by our neighbour. They have overpriced a wall by £4000 and after us questioning the price, they have admitted to the builders trying to help them out financially. The wife and her friends look over our garden fence and did this a lot in lockdown it’s hard to have people over. Now they keep hassling us about our tree?

We pulled out of a party wall agreement a year ago due to the fact they admitted to their builders being fraudulent and also wanting us to pay 50% for a fence that belonged to them. Now our tree which they have absolutely butchered they want to discuss more in person??? Shall we just ignore them? I’m so stressed and my anxiety is off the charts ! X

Lollypop4 · 05/04/2021 23:07

I would'nt speak to them, they sound like arseholes enjoy your new wall and garden.

As for pp.
If the tree is on your side and you believe it isnt an issue, tell the neighbour you are'nt doing anything with it.

Wimp · 05/04/2021 23:32

They really are unbelievable but my husband keeps being text by her husband. Shall we continue to ignore?
The tree they are claiming is damaging their lawn by blocking sunlight and damaging their shed.
Thanks for your response I just wish I could pick this up legally. I’ve just had a baby too and he picks up on my anxiety and they harass us at least once a month and I have anxiety when leaving the house.

We can’t afford to move either!

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