Very stressed about mortgage application. Can someone talk me down.

[Fuckadoodledoooo]

Applying in Dh name only as I don't work at mo as baby is 6 months (and when I did it was min wage and zero hour contracts, all eaten up by childcare anyway), so it was easier to take me out of the equation.

We want to buy a house for £172,500. Dh parents have basically given him his inheritance early as a deposit of £26,000.

Dh earns 31k. We have no debts at all, our credit card was paid off in January with some savings.

Only debt is his student loan which is 27k.

Our bills come to £560 per month, 3 children (one is now 18).

Only other income is £500 a month universal credit, most of which is housing element as we are renting so we didn't even take that into account as we wouldn't be getting it if we bought - although obviously they (habito) have seen it on bank statement so asked.

Going through Habito, we were turned down by everyone bar TSB because of his student debt.

We are now just waiting in Limbo to see if they will actually give us the mortgage for 147k. I'm terrified it won't happen. We've been in shitty rented houses for so long. We moved 120 miles last year to a cheaper part of the country so we could maybe buy.

Dh has a really secure job that he's been in for 8 years - it's quite a high up position but the pay is a joke as it's for a local authority. He's been working remotely for two years, so he doesn't need to
Change job even though we are 120 miles away. He only has to go in twice a month for meetings.

I'm so, so sick of renting. We've been given notice three times over the years as landlords have wanted to sell, and have lived in some awful places. Current rental we are constantly scrubbing black mould from the walls.

The mortgage he was offered would be £300 cheaper than our rent.

I know that no one has a crystal ball. I'm just clutching at straws trying to get some reassurance!

I'd really recommend an independent mortgage advisor, mine was absolutely brilliant and worked wonders with our very tight figures

We're with Santander, we earn slightly more than your husband combined (£35K), both have student debt and no benefits except child benefit and managed to borrow £163K

Could you up your deposit to 15%? A lot more lenders will accept you at that level

Can you share your search criteria? Maybe we can help with looking?

Or wait until I get a job - (will probably go back to care work when the baby is nearing one, will need to work nights again to save on childcare, it's a fucking killer to be honest I did it from when my now 7 year old was one).*

Thing is you don't need to do it forever, if you genuinely think you'll be fine covering the mortgage on just your husband's income, you need to do the job long enough to be out of probation and have 3 months wage slips to show the provider.

Please do however bear in mind that buying the house is only the start. I completely underestimated the amount of maintenance it would need. I would be budgeting for an absolute minimum of setting aside £8k a year to stay on top of things breaking, needing replacing. We're only in March and so far we've replaced the washer, had someone out to mend a drain, and now we've had a failure in the roof that's going to cost £6.5k to put right and we need to do this urgently as right now water comes into the house when it rains, and this is on a standard construction 1960s bungalow. We've easily spent £50k in the 10 years we've been here just keeping our house in decent condition.

Please do however bear in mind that buying the house is only the start. I completely underestimated the amount of maintenance it would need. I would be budgeting for an absolute minimum of setting aside £8k a year to stay on top of things breaking, needing replacing. We're only in March and so far we've replaced the washer, had someone out to mend a drain, and now we've had a failure in the roof that's going to cost £6.5k to put right and we need to do this urgently as right now water comes into the house when it rains, and this is on a standard construction 1960s bungalow. We've easily spent £50k in the 10 years we've been here just keeping our house in decent condition

This is very very unusual, most people do not need to spend eight grand a year maintaining their property. Yes things go wrong, but if you buy a well maintained house, and keep on top of things, then it should be no where near this annually. I’ve owned homes for nearly thirty years and I’ve never ever had to spend anything like this annually.

Oh I know there could be problems, I had houses with my ex h in my early 20s. Only one problem with a roof though but that as because he wouldn't pay a couple of hundred quid to replace some tiles so it got worse.

But I can't live my life on what ifs. I have own a ca but it could blow up tomorrow, my mum was dead by my age after being diagnosed with cancer at 39 - what if that happens to me in the next couple of years?

So we have to at least try and take a risk on something at some point.

Ca means car, not cat if anyone was confused. I do hope I never have a cat that blows up.

We'll just see how this one pans out. Not holding out any great hope though.

We'll get another rental and see where life has taken us in a couple of years.

To be blunt 'seeing where life takes you' is why you're in this position. Seize control. Ok so two bedders don't have a living room you could use. They'll have lofts though which can be boarded out cheaply. Bedrooms can be partitioned cheaply. Even a 11ft square master bedroom could be split. Think outside the box and be more proactive!

Whereabouts are you looking OP? If you can share rough area maybe we can look and see what might work. Sometimes someone else can help you think outside the box. Knowing there are other options would make you feel more in control.

@titchy

To be blunt 'seeing where life takes you' is why you're in this position. Seize control. Ok so two bedders don't have a living room you could use. They'll have lofts though which can be boarded out cheaply. Bedrooms can be partitioned cheaply. Even a 11ft square master bedroom could be split. Think outside the box and be more proactive!

I meant see where it takes us with work, Ds job, where we can move to. There are so many variables at play.

Maybe in two years we can move further north to a cheaper place once Ds is settled in his police apprenticeship and my elderly relative has either agreed to go into a care home or has passed away.

I wasn't being as passive at that sounded. I'm under huge amounts of stress with my relative at the moment as well. I have to factor them into this as well as pressure from adult social care is mounting (a whole other shitshow).

We were in a much better position years ago for various reasons, we wanted to move away to a cheaper area then by Ds dad stopped us. It was only when he was 16 he stopped wanting to see him and stopped caring where we took him which is why we stuck it out in London for so long.

I don't want to say where I am - I don't name change often enough and I've put up some information recently where a quick search would tell a lot about me. Maybe I'm paranoid and this is a much bigger site than it was when I first joined when Ds was little but it's always in the back of my head!

@titchy

To be blunt 'seeing where life takes you' is why you're in this position. Seize control. Ok so two bedders don't have a living room you could use. They'll have lofts though which can be boarded out cheaply. Bedrooms can be partitioned cheaply. Even a 11ft square master bedroom could be split. Think outside the box and be more proactive!

Yes we are looking at all options, believe me.

The house we like doesn't have enough room at the mo but an internal garage that has been partially converted into a room already but work was abandoned. Luckily we've moved back to the area where Dh is originally from and so he knows a lot of people still, so we know a builder who will help out massively and would only ask for materials to do it (one of Dh very close friends).

So yes, a smaller house would work if we could re jig things cheaply.

I'm honestly not being difficult. It's just a crap situation when I have to factor in my relative and his commode/can't walk upstairs. But like I said, that's a whole other issue.

And we are trying to seize control - this is so new. Two weeks ago it wasn't even on the radar until PIL stepped in to help me as I'm finding it all hard to cope with.

OP, have you considered shared ownership? Not as good as owning outright but more security than renting. Plus you can work your way up to owning 100% of the property when you're in a better financial position.

I'm going through Barclays at the moment -they said they lend to 5.5 x salary

The only thing that scares about shared ownership is that I've heard horror stories about people trying to see them.

There are some new build properties here offering shared ownership but you have to demonstrate ties with the area. We have only lived here a year. Dh is from here, but spent 15 years living in London (and still works there).

So we have looked in as far as that. But that could be the next step if we can find ones that don't stipulate ties to the area.

Sell them, not see them.

Like I said, this is all new. Never dreamed that PIL would offer to help with a deposit. It was just a hope that we could find somewhere to tie in with when tenancy ends here, time wise now is when you'd look.

@Fuckadoodledoooo

The only thing that scares about shared ownership is that I've heard horror stories about people trying to see them.

There are some new build properties here offering shared ownership but you have to demonstrate ties with the area. We have only lived here a year. Dh is from here, but spent 15 years living in London (and still works there).

So we have looked in as far as that. But that could be the next step if we can find ones that don't stipulate ties to the area.

I would look into this further, don't think the local thing should rule you out completely, particularly as your DH probably has family ties in the area? Also, different organisations have different eligibility criteria too.

Of course there are drawbacks too, as you state, selling on is one of the cons. In your position though, I would think the pros outweigh the cons. Good luck.

As well as SO, have you looked at HTB? Are you both first time buyers?

Thank you and yes, we wouldn't rule it out and it's something I will look into further.

It compounds the situation that my landlord lives two doors down. Part of the reason life is difficult at the moment is that we had to leave my relative behind in London (we had no choice but to move when we did, I got ill and there was no sick pay, it would have turned into a huge mess so we got out while we were still ok money wise). They have deteriorated considerably since then and the landlord won't let them stay overnight here more than once a month (his house so I respect that).

So we collect him for a weekend once every 5 weeks (sat night stay, he's in our bubble as he sees no one else and nor do we). The landlord will knock at our door on a Sunday afternoon to make sure he's leaving and will stand and watch as we get him in the car etc.

For someone with deteriorating mental health this makes things worse for my relative.

If we had our own house, there would be no one looking over my shoulder if he wanted to stay for a few days at a time once a month, things would be easier on me and better for him.

He's refusing to move to a care home as he's scared we will move areas and leave him again. If we owned a place, he would be more willing.

I'm unbelievably stressed by it all. It's just me, no other family to help.

@changingnames786

As well as SO, have you looked at HTB? Are you both first time buyers?

Dh is, I'm not (bought a house with ex 20 years ago).

He has discussed it all with Habito. I've read all the chats this morning and I'm not all that chuffed with them.

I found some local mortgage brokers. I'm going to get Dh to speak to them - but we should wait until TSB Inevitably say no?

My eye has been off the ball I'll admit. I take care of all the finances, this is new to Dh. I've just been so bloody busy trying to put one foot in front of another.

OMG I can't believe your landlord! What a dick. Not surprised you need to get out of there.

@mrboingboing

OMG I can't believe your landlord! What a dick. Not surprised you need to get out of there.

He's not the worst we've had over the years! He's quite tame compared to some of them.

You definitely need to speak to a good Independent Financial Advisor ( not one tied to a particular lender).