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How to get past embarrassment of house

14 replies

StareIntotheMaggotDrawer · 08/03/2021 21:27

There are parts of my house that are ‘done up’ but there are parts which I feel really embarrassed about. It’s not just big jobs like an old kitchen or bathroom, that I can kind of deal with, but it’s just full of unfinished jobs, and rushed diy jobs that look shit, wall and woodwork paint unfinished and splodges of paint where I’ve tried to do what I can in little time and not taken care. Gaps in skirting, missing threshold strips. There are also bodge jobs by the previous owners which doesn’t help.

Dp has a chronic illness and we both work full time. I try to do what I can myself but on my days off running my own errands and looking after a relative. Dp illness is unpredictable, so even when we book time off specifically to get some of the jobs finished, he can be unable to help or I end up having to do things for relative so still nothing ever gets completed.

I’ve finally given up on diy because of time and would rather just get someone to do it but I just dread having people in my house. It is irrational but I feel embarrassed to even have tradesmen round to do things because of the state of it.

I feel like the big jobs like kitchen and bathroom are expected but it’s all these smaller half done jobs just look awful. Wfh probably doesn’t help because I am just staring at it day in day out, and my mind is just going round in circles. ‘I want to get X sorted but I can’t until Y is finished off, but then people will see Z’

I know it’s just down to me to get over it but how?

OP posts:
ChameleonClara · 08/03/2021 21:33

Tradespeople see all sorts.

Also they don't know how long you've lived there.

I would start with something small and just do that.

Flowers good luck

WhistlingBrooks · 08/03/2021 21:35

Are you describing my house, op? Yeah, same here. Some day it will get finished but till then I'll just hold my breath and keep calm and carry on.

Porridgeoat · 08/03/2021 21:55

They will be used to much worse. Bite the bullet, it will be easier once you’ve started

SweatyBetty20 · 08/03/2021 21:59

Handyman to tick some off? You’d be surprised with the range of things they can do. And I’m sure they won’t judge - rather they’ll know tradies who can do any of the bigger jobs that the handyman can’t.

arthurdaly · 08/03/2021 23:05

As others have said the trade see allsorts! I should know because my husband is a builder and the untidy bits have only just been finished now we're selling the house.

MaryIsA · 09/03/2021 07:37

I did this with a house I rent out. Tenants left it in a state and I was embarrassed to get anyone in 8n case the thought I’d let it like that.

Got a handyman in to fix curtain rails back up, sort out sealant, mend knocks in walls, looked so much better. Then a coat of paint. Looks like new.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/03/2021 07:40

Just bite the bullet and book someone to come in and do the smaller jobs. Ask on Facebook for a local recommendation and book them for a week. Make sure you have a supply of paint etc in, and just write them a list. They wont care what state your home is in!

yearinyearout · 09/03/2021 07:48

I'd get a general handyman round, they'll be able to sort all those little jobs out. You'll feel so much better when it's done!

muddledmidget · 09/03/2021 08:11

I feel the same, I look in every room of my house and see something unfinished or rushed. I have 2 weeks off work now, so am going to do as much as I can, and then I think a tiler/plasterer will be needed. I'm hoping my husband will agree to a decorator too, as I just want the house finished. We both work 60 hour weeks, are exhausted, and barely keep up with the house work, yet he feels we should spend our sodding holiday doing decorating rather than the money we earn that is currently just sitting in a bank account as there's nowhere to spend it

TiddleTaddleTat · 09/03/2021 11:44

Same here, OP. The suggestion of a handyman is a good one. I might try that, although can be difficult for me with noise etc as I am also WFH and have a chronic illness too. it feels really good when you tick off some jobs - eg I managed to finish our bathroom by painting the door frame and a cupboard the other day. Took a weekend, I took my time. So happy it's done. But yeah, most of my house is a state.

BrieAndChilli · 09/03/2021 12:08

i was like this in our last house. We rented and it just got shabbier and shabbier as the landlord didnt do any up keep and there sonly so much time and money you want to chuck at something as a renter. it go to the point where i wouldnt have anyone round or invite anyone in.

We have just bought a house and are redecorating. its not perfect as we arent experienced enough but it will look ok and nice and fresh and clean so I'm happy.

murbblurb · 09/03/2021 12:58

don't be embarrassed, why should you be? A decent handyman will take a great pride not only in doing the job but in making your house a happier place. Get on the phone!

Whatalottachocca · 09/03/2021 13:01

You don't need to feel embarrassed. When I visit someone, I go to see them, not their house. Things which are noticeable to you probably won't even register with anyone else.

Kitkat151 · 09/03/2021 13:11

Make a snagging list of everything that needs doing then get a handyman to give you an idea of how long it would take to achieve and then pay him to do.....they usually charge a day rate....could have all those little jobs done in no time....don’t be embarrassed

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