wise MNers - private purchase and EA valuations - advice please

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NC. Our elderly NDN have just announced that they are going to downsize and we have expressed an interest in their property (we'd like to knock both houses together to make one). It needs gutting and doesn't have storage heaters, never mind central heating. They have just had it valued at £50k less than our perfectly liveable in house with a garden double the size of theirs....and central heating. We think that if it goes on the open market it will eventually sell for about £100k less than the asking price. We would be prepared to pay £50k less in cash. Knocking both houses together to make one certainly won't be a money making experience....if we live in the house for 10 years we will probably break even...but we love the area and this would be our forever home. BUT, we aren't prepared to pay what the EA have suggested and now feel like we are stuck.....we think we can still end up with the house but only after its sat on the market for 6 months and they've dropped the price significantly and got really pissed off with us in the process. There is very little on the market where we are and similarly priced properties are recently updated; similar properties i.e. needing significant investment are £100-150k less. How would you navigate this to keep relations as harmonious as possible...and end up with the house?

The problem started when you asked the estate agent to 'value' the property. Unless he charged a fee, it was a market appraisal - he told the neighbours what he could get for it IHO. Estate Agents want the instruction, they are not going to give low figures.

If you seek out a RICS surveyor to give you a valuation you will get a different answer. But you would have to pay about £800. Now the neighbours have an idea of what it could sell for, you will have to cough up if you want it badly.

The NDN had the EA appraise their own house, did they not?

When we interviewed EAs last autumn they were all pretty close in what they suggested as a marketing price, and what they thought we could achieve. And they all gave evidence to explain that. We got asking less about 4%.

You said the house is worth more to you than anyone else. You can't know that.

Why would they sell to you for £100k less than the market appraisal when you don't exactly have your pick of houses that would allow you to implement your plan?