Planning to start family, should we stay in current home or move before kids arrive?

[Rosestar123]

Hello,

My partner and I (27 & 28) currently live in Walderslade, Medway. We were FTBs in May 2018. At the moment, we have a low mortgage £560pm at 2.19%.
We bought the house under our max budget, we were keen not to outstretch ourselves and wanted somewhere could add equity too. Due to the low mortgage, we are able to save £1.5k a month currently (after bills, fun things, etc paid). Bought for £170k - houses on street with the same layout have sold between £185-197K over the last 2 years.

It is an end of terrace, 2 allocated parking spaces to the side of the house, big garden, 2 bedrooms but a very small living space. Our downstairs is one open plan rectangle, which is our kitchen, dining, living and my home office (homeworker due to COVID). So I am feeling very squished! Which hasn't helped from working from home the last year and being in the same room. And its only me, my OH and dog living here.

We are planning on getting married in August 21 (fingers crossed) and then plans to start a family shortly after.
For context, we are both public sector workers, and no large pay increases on the horizon! I am the main earner, which will have an impact on our take-home pay when I do go on mat leave.
We are paying for the wedding ourselves and currently paying off all our credit cards so come August we will be married and have no wedding or credit card debt! We will then begin the house saving in earnest.

The question we have been toying with, should we stay where we are and have kids here and move in 2/3 years.
Or move next year to somewhere bigger prior to kids.

OH feels it's better to stay where we are, save as much as we can (due to low mortgage v. income), and says move after we have 1st child. That way we can move to forever home and I not turn around a few years later and want to move again to somewhere bigger (which he has a fair point). He thinks that a lower mortgage means when I go on mat leave I can be off for longer as we'd have smaller overheads etc.

However, I feel the space is too small for a family, worried that we will feel on top of each other and that if we spend the next 2 years saving, by the time we do move we will have been outpriced to what we want. Is it worth to have ££ sitting in the bank when it could be best put to use invested in property? If we were going to move, the mortgage advisor says that we'd roughly be lent a max £335,000. We'd need to add a deposit on top which we'd get from equity and savings. But that's looking at mortgage payments circa £1,200.
Ideally would like a 4-bed detached house, garden, and family living space. So I'm worried that getting what I wanted for our current budget is pushing it and if house prices rise even more we will have to go for somewhere smaller.

Thank you! Appreciate any thoughts.

Picture attached of floorplan of the current house.

It's actually really nice having young kids in a small space as you can always hear where they are! You just need to be good at decluttering.

Agree re garden room / summer house for extra space.

Our kids are 6 and 9 and we are only just considering moving from a similar sized property (maybe slightly bigger than yours).

I would stay put and save and then when you move you only have to do it once.

What are you doing with the 1.5 k a month you're saving currently? If the answer is spending it on a wedding I'd seriously reconsider if that would be better spent paying down the mortgage/using it for the house move.

Hi all thank you for your comments. I really appreciate the real world examples!

I’m in a different situation than my friends who when they bought 1st time round maxed their budget so have the 3bed and space for kids. I feel a bit silly for not doing that, but my intentions were to get equity to spring board to somewhere bigger sooner, hence the focus on forever home. I imagine what I mean is somewhere we’d stay for a long time but I have no doubts life happens and we might have to move again!

I do like the idea of building space in garden for office, which would make downstairs more liveable.

For me if downstairs space was bigger then a 3 bed is fine. My OH was brought up never having his own room, hence the wish of going for a 4 bed. Future proofing for 2 potential DCs (if we are lucky to be able to have them)

I also have this fear that once we have kids we will just get stuck where we are!

Mixed thoughts. Appreciate all views it helps me to think of the pros and cons. Especially the strain on finances with childcare costs (how does anyone do it!)

Work wise I’m hoping that our salaries will increase as we get promotions hopefully as we get older ... but with this economy might just have to plan for staying where we are salary wise!

Just to add, as noted in post - currently the monthly 1.5k savings has gone towards wedding and paying off credit cards (all 0% interest). Our wedding we are paying for ourselves and is around £7k all in. It’s not the cheapest but we still wanted something special. So after wedding we will be debt free (no wedding debt or credit card debt ). After August I suppose the choice is putting all £1.5k in savings or on overpaying mortgage (or a bit of both).

Move first.

We bought our house as a childless couple and knew we'd want to move eventually but thought we'd be able to live there as a family of 4 for a good few years. Two things that changed our mind:

1. The realisation we wanted to move before applying for schools for our eldest. If your next house will be very local to your current one, this might not be a consideration, but otherwise you're either looking at a longer school run (we wanted one that was walkable) or settling your child in one school and then uprooting them when you move.

1. Second pregnancy was twins. Total shock - none in the family, no risk factors for it, but it happens!

So we've found ourselves applying for a bigger mortgage with 3 sets of childcare fees counting against us. Which is really frustrating, because we know that's temporary - a few years ago we would have been allowed a much bigger mortgage and in another few years we will too - but unfortunately we need to more now

You plus 2 kids in their own room each is still only a 3 bed......

Most of my friends have moved since having kids. Some for space, some for job opportunities, some for relationship reasons.

Of those that haven't they were usually I'm a minimum of a 3 bed with enough space or space to extend - think 2 loos, some have an ensuite, nice garden.

We stayed in our 3 bed with 3 kids until we couldn't (- we were trapped by finances....hence one of the reasons I would have preferred to move pre-kids.)
Only one loo among 5 is not enough!!

My friend was in a house with the same floor plan, it was tiny, maybe your rooms are bigger. But they have only just moved now their kids are 5 and 3. Judging by the (big) house they’ve moved to, I assume they could have moved earlier as it’s quite a step up. So they obviously didn’t find it too bad. But there is absolutely no way I personally could homeschool and work from home in that space! Just never know what is going to happen so if I was you I would definitely have a firm moving plan, but TTC now.

Is there any scope to extend to create a larger kitchen/downstairs bathroom? If it was a two storey extension you could also have an extra bedroom.

Considering any potential children are still away off I would stay where I was and then maybe move sometime after child one was born when you know a bit more around childcare commitments and costs

My youngest is starting school in September we have a £1000 mortgage he has his 30 hours funding and yet our childcare bill this month is still 500 quid it’s not easy some months there is Little spare when unexpected costs come up I’d save save save while you can

Oh and why jump into a four bed why not just get a three bed with good sized bedrooms?

As others have mentioned, once you have childcare costs then the amount you can borrow for a mortgage will be reduced. Move now, then if you really want to move again you can do so once the kids are in school and your childcare bill is lower.

Personally I’d over pay your present mortgage so that the debt was paid off fast with the minimum interest. I’d aim to do all my pregnancies in your current cheaper house as I’d rather live quite minimally while going through each maternity leave.

I’ve attached an image showing payment of 2k per month with the mortgage paid off in 8 years. Please note how little interest is paid on the house as a result.

Alternatively I’d look for a forever home which needs work, so cheaper

You could also consider moving to a larger property than you have now, but choosing something with potential. So if the dream is a 4 bed detached, then look at a smaller three bed with the option to extend.
That way you cover all bases. You have a bigger home you could raise a couple of children in, if you decide to stay put you can. If you love the house and location, but need more space, you can release some equity / use or combine savings, to do an extension for the extra living space and bedroom. Or you can still trade up and move somewhere already done. But you aren’t then on a tight deadline to move.
In our street they all started life as 3 bed semis. Perfectly ok to raise a family and some are still 3 bed semis (including my own). Others are now 4 or 5 beds, extensions built, garages removed. They’ve been renovated in just about every combination possible. It’s very much a live here for years kind of road. If we decide we need to move for schools (our local school hasn’t been doing great but that could change) then we will, but otherwise we have plans to extend ours for when we need more space and stay in the long term.
So maybe look at that as another potential. Obviously location and schools are still a factor, you can’t change that. But otherwise there may be a middle ground if you have the appetite for it. It will also let you see how you like to live before committing to larger expenses.

I would say your current house looks very small for a family with a new baby if you have the option to move. It wouldn't be impossible, but if you have the option to move somewhere bigger before a baby, then I would. I agree with a PP, to jump from this to four bed detached may be a big jump and you may need to have an inbetween house - somewhere cheaper (but bigger than current) while children are pre school and big childcare expense, then the big house when they are both in school - that tends to be how lots of people around here do it.

Just looking at your title I was going to say move. However seeing the figures you give I wouldn't. I think £1.2k mortgage is too much. I would probably go for something in between
Perhaps a three bed (detached?) in a good catchment area with the possibility to build an extension for a fourth bedroom further down the line should you wish to and afford to.
This way you would have more space as you wish, and not need to move post kids. You d also get the mortgage sorted before childcare kicks in.
I personally wouldn't spend that much on a wedding but I guess it s all very personal.

Not read all the suggestions but I think you need a halfway house. A 2 bed terrace is a big difference to a 4 bed house. You might struggle to afford a 4 bed on your salaries if you go back to work and are paying childcare etc. Also you have to think about what will happen if interest rates rise in the future, they are very low now but Ilyou also have to be able to afford the house if they go up a lot.

I’d move now to a good size 3 bed semi with the aim to live there for around 5 years. No need for a detached or a 4 bed right now. You could then even have two DCs in that time and still not have outgrown the house. Then move to the forever house once kids are starting school and your childcare bills are lower.

Another thing to consider which I know is not very nice to think about, is that there’s no guarantee you will be able to conceive. A good friend of mine made a similar move not long after getting married (big family house, family area etc) and it took them 4 years and 2 rounds of IVF to conceive. They obviously had no idea they would struggle but she said the house was a constant reminder of what they didn’t have, they had even picked out which room would be the nursery etc and it was really difficult for her. Pick a house that works for you now as well as one that would work if you had kids.

Hi thank you for all the thoughts. I do need to factor in potential childcare costs (which seem crippling!). Perhaps as mentioned an in-between house 3 bed with room to extend. But in the meantime start to over pay mortgage whilst we think about what we really need!

Just to say that if you still have credit card debt then you should pay this off before overpaying your mortgage. Your mortgage is only at 2% interest and most credit cards are a lot higher than this unless you have a 0% promo period still on your card.

I would also caution against overpaying your mortgage if you need to save up for maternity leave and moving expenses. Once you’ve paid that money into your mortgage you can’t get it back and it would be better to be able to use cash for your wedding, your maternity leave shortfall if needed and your moving costs than to overpay your mortgage and then not have enough cash to cover all these things within the next couple of years.

We were in the same situation and decided to move, albeit to a larger 3 bed with good size bedrooms.

My logic was that if we reduced working hours after starting a family, and factoring in childcare, we weren't as likely to be able to borrow the mortgage amount we needed. It worked out that our new mortgage isn't actually that much larger than the old one as the rates have dropped a lot lower than when we bought our first house and we had more equity so could yet a better deal. The stamp duty holiday was also a bonus.

We moved in October and I'm now 16 weeks pregnant and really glad that we did! Your house looks similar to our old one in that there isnt a huge amount of storage or places to tuck things away like a pram, toys etc.

Agree with PPs that a compromise to a larger 3 bed is a good idea. Best of luck!

In terms of extention, I've also got a garden office. At these crazy times it really saved my nervous system. I got this one summerhouse24.co.uk/small-garden-room-noah/
Though I have found cheaper options after I otdered, the buiding is of good quality and looks stylish, so I guess it was a good deal

@Rosestar123 you need to move. From someone in same situation as you. Almost exactly same size, floor plan. We were meant to move go on market last January, TTC at same time as it can take ages - didn’t work like that, had baby in November. Buying and selling takes a lot longer. Now we’re desperately trying to move.

It doesn’t work like how your DH wants. FTB type properties don’t increase in value in proportion with family homes near good schools which have huge demand. We could have afforded on our road a couple of years ago, now we have to look at completely different areas. You have to go up the ladder, otherwise you’ll be priced out of the medium. Especially as lots of new builds and HTB scheme targeted at FTB, make properties like ours less desirable.

Look at your house, walk around and ask:

• where would I put the bassinet for day naps downstairs?
• where would I store the pushchair, car seat? (We keep ours in the car boot)
• where would the bouncer/high seat bumbo go?
• where would the cot go, is there room for a crib side sleeper like snuzpod or next to me?

We’ve been fine and made it work, but if you have the money move now. It’s also a huge mental load trying to move, view and everything with a baby, if you can move to a 3 bed home near a good primary school now and you’ll be set for 10 years at least and it’ll be a house where the value will increase and allow you to jump again.

However having read through your posts, your savings aren’t actually savings they’re covering debt and wedding? I would prioritise clearing those first. What about cash for stamp duty, estate agent fees, surveyor fees, removal company, solicitor fees (double what you paid last time, one set of fees for sale and another for purchase). Having read that, I’d say save the costs of the move so all your equity goes to onwards purchase would be my advice.

Good luck! We have a tiny home but we’re happy with our baby. But it’s very frustrating our house having only gone up a certain amount and houses we wanted to jump to gone up ten times that.

Oh whoops just realised I’ve revived an old thread. How’s it going @Rosestar123?

I would move before baby/babies. Yes you don't need loads of stuff, but actually you might want loads of stuff for your baby. Just stupid things like having enough space to have a pram in the house without tripping over it, and a bouncy chair in the living room.

my initial instinct is move, however with the big garden (toddler big enough?), id need to ask; what is the area like for baby groups, walking, facilities etc is everything accessable?

if so then i would stay. Being able to have a safety net with your savings and kids is amazing.