AIBU to ask a new buyer to book a survey before I pull out of existing sale?

[CatAndHisKit]

Just wanted to check what's the usual order of events when the existing buyer is a CF and has lied about being a cash buyr, now needs a mortgage but hasn't done a thing for weeks towards that.
He still clains to the agent (when he deigns to answer calls) that they will be prceeding, I assume waiting for loan apprival - but it's been MONTHS now.

So we went back on the market and a cash buyer is interested (who viewed previuosly), offered the same as current one - both are getting a bit of a discount as I had a higher offer from someone in a chain.
He's provided proof of funds but said he'll be dong a structural survey (current one didn't bother but has done the searches a while back).

I want to be sure that the new one will proceed after survey (Victorian house so always niggles) before saying a final No to the current one. I did say i'll go with him if he doesn't pull out after survey. But he is stalling as doesnt like that I haven't officially pulled out - though we did tell buyer one that we are likely to go with a new cash buyer unless he exchanges to deadline this week. Which he's not doing.

I'm in a catch 22, as I don't want to wai weeks for survey, then he might pull out, when possibly the old one could be ready in that time. I've asked him to at least give me dates for the survey but he's not budging that he wants to prceed and is keen - but that I need to officially pull out.
Who's right here - I think I'll have to agree to pull out as I don't trust my buyer anymore, but I don't want to feel like I was being reasonable to wait for survey, yet pushed into it before then. Sick and tired of being at the mercy of various buyers by now!

He's right I think.

He needs to know you're going to sell to him and not change your mind if the other one suddenly starts to move faster.

You need to ditch the first buyer regardless.

What would you do if you were the second buyer? If it was me I'd be hesitant to spend money in this situation.

If I was your new buyer there is no way I would spend hundreds of pounds on a survey when there's a chance your first buyer might come through and exchange this week, that would be really stupid of him? Also re: a date for survey, for our survey we had to sign the contract for the survey to book in the date, effectively committing to spending the money.

I think you need to ditch the first buyer, otherwise you would be wasting the second buyers time (and money) if your first buyer is suddenly able to exchange in the next week or two.

I did say that once he spends the money, I'll be selling to him unless HE pulls out after the survey. I thought you don' t pay for the survey at the time of booking - but can't remember if you pay a deposit and whether that's refundable if survey is cancelled.

The old buyer has to exchange immediately for me to consider him - we've given him two weeks which expires on Friday but he's not responding to confirm it will happen so I assume not.

I did emphasise to new buyer that it's not the case of him spending money - just even finding out when his surveyor is available. If it's weeks ahead then I thought he won;t be paying yet, and gives a few more days to the current buyer.

I@m just still worried that new buyer ma change gis mind / try for a discount after survey even though the price is more than fair, and we'vo not let anyone else view the house even though there is a list of people - just because he's cash and keen.

But you are right that I could as well ditch the 1st buyer who has been stringing me along for 4 months (but did the searches which was confusing). Purely as I had enough of the stress and uncertainty.

The other thing is, when a vendor pulls out how likely is hte buyer to agree to sell his searches? I mean it's obviuosly his fault I ve pulled out but last I've heard, he was resentful. So no chance of selling his searches (and getting gis money back)?.

Apple I've bought three times myself, and did the survey before paying anything to solicitors (though had one lined up), so that's not so much of an issue.

I think YABU. If I was your second buyer, I wouldn't be having a survey done until you had properly accepted my offer, and that means you're not still agreeing to sell the property to some one else I'm afraid. I would be having a survey done too. Even as a cash buyer (which I have been) I wouldn't buy a house without one. I have an Edwardian house so understand your worry as there are always some level of issues, but you need to take the next step here.

I did thus: i viewed a property andxwas told there was another accepted offer but if I was in position to exchange in a week they would go with me (this is not under current delays). So paid extra got searches and survey done was all ready to go then on the appointed day they exchanged with the other buyers! So no way of i was your second buyer would i accept anything other than a formal withdrawal from your previous buyers. And it's odd to have a survey done without engaging a solicitor- that's the first thing you do surely?
You also cannot ask for any sort of guarantees that they will agree to buy your house regardless of what the survey says - that goes against the whole point of being able to pull out before exchange. You are trying to have it all to your advantage and sadly it just doesn't work that way.