New neighbours want us to go halves on a new fence. AIBU to say No?

[Walkingtheplank]

We've been in our house for 10 years.

Our neighbour was a lovely old man with a very unkempt garden with a ramshackle fence between us. I believe it belonged to next door but we paid to have it replaced as neighbour didnt see value in a new fence which he couldn't see thoug his overgrown garden.

He has since moved on and we have new neighbours. Last year during lockdown we had their neighbours doubling the size of the house. The builders were awful, using the fence as a urinal and in parts have built their patio under my fence, damaging the fence and killing my plants. In the spirit of good neighbourly relations I've said nothing about this (builders were their relatives).

Now the new neighbours, who seem friendly, want us to go halves on a new fence when the existing one is fine as it is - not great as its 10 years old but fine enough).

I don't want to pay as
a) as far as I know, it's not our responsibility. I think it is their fence.
b) it's not a pressing need
c) I dont want to pay their family to build it - the wooden side gate they made is a travesty
d) I have plants on our side that might be damaged - and was about to buy new ones to replace the ones killed by their builder last year.

To put in financial context, we're broke. DH was unemployed for most of last year and our current outgoings exceed our income. I'm looking to stop my self-employed work that fitted around the children and applying for less flexible salaried roles to improve our situation. Currently debating whether we can afford for DD to have dental braces which we just missed NHS qualification for.
The new plants I was about to buy were going to be the first 'extra' thing I bought for me in a year. Had to scrape by eeking out the existing seeds I had last year whilst obnoxious builders destroyed any semblance of it being a nice place to be last year during lockdown.

I've told DH to say no but he clearly wants to keep the peace with the neighbours. On their other side they've got a high garish orange-ish high fence as opposed to our silvered not too high fence.

I guess my question is would it be so outrageous to decline to share the cost? Would you think very badly of neighbours who declined? And would you punish them by putting up a monstrous fence as punishment?

I would just explain that things are very tight just now, and you just can’t.

If you want to maintain some control, you could say hopefully next year to stop them putting up something awful.

I know this isn’t a very helpful question but why on earth didn’t you raise the issues over the summer with them? It is possible to have these discussions politely.

Anyway, if you say maybe next year, it gives you the opportunity to say that you found the last set of builders difficult, what with the peeing, plant killing and patio spillage so you’d like to use someone different this time.

I hope things get better for you OP. 💐

The builders were awful, using the fence as a urinal and in parts have built their patio under my fence, damaging the fence and killing my plants. In the spirit of good neighbourly relations I've said nothing about this (builders were their relatives)

Why on earth didn't you say anything! Good neighbourly relations, seriously?

Say no. If their family are doing the work they’ll massively inflate the cost, tell you how much “half” is and you’ll actually be paying the full cost of it. Old trick.

Dont assume neighbours or their builders will take any notice of your wishes.
My mums new neighbour and builders asked if they could trim an over hanging small tree in her garden. She said yes, to be neighbourly.
They cut down two of her trees completely.
Her neighbour is a throughly horrible man, which is a shame, as she’d had two sets of lovely next door neighbours there, over the years.

We didn't say anything over the summer as the neighbours were in another country and hadn't moved in yet. No way to tell them what was happening at the time.

It doesn’t matter who owns the fence really , the bottom line is you are happy with the existing fence so if they want a new one they have to pay for it . The only relevance is whether the existing fence is completely on the boundary line or on your side in which case they would have to put their new fence beside it on their side IYSWIM .

Generally speaking if you stand at the back of the house and look out, the fence on the left belongs to you and you are responsible for its upkeep, the fence on the right belongs to your neighbour.
It does depend which side of the world you live on though.

I would say that you'd rather wait until it's actually a necessity. If it's very secure and sound then it would be silly to change it.

Even if you are responsible for the fence (and there is no evidence of this) nobody has a legal right to force to to renew it or to contribute to the cost. You can leave your property unfenced if you feel like it (unless, perhaps, you keep tigers or goats in the garden).

If the neighbours own the fence it must be on their land. If you own it it must be on yours. They do not have the right to dig post holes in your garden.

have a look at the "deeds" of your house, and your neighbours, on Land registry gov uk

(not one of the scammers on "org" or "co uk" or "com"

There is probably a plan diagram, and if you are lucky there will be "T" marks on the boundaries.

You do not have to be the owner to get the plans so you can get all your neighbours if you like.

@morninglive

Generally speaking if you stand at the back of the house and look out, the fence on the left belongs to you and you are responsible for its upkeep, the fence on the right belongs to your neighbour. I should say boundary, as it can be a wall etc. So if its there fence they pay all costs, if its yours and you are happy with it, it can be left.

myth, sorry.

OP, re your passionflower. I know you don't intend having a new fence, but... climbers can usually be saved by gently removing their hold on the fence and laying them down backwards away from the fence. As long as the roots aren't damaged by the fencers, it can be re-attached to the fence once it's been replaced. I have certainly had success doing this with both a climbing rose and a honeysuckle.

Just say no for now because there's nothing wrong with it

Thank you everyone who replied.

DH is now agreed that we won't make a financial contribution - I think pointing put out that if we can't afford DD's braces it is insane to fund an unnecessary fence.

What he hadn't old me is that the neighbour specifically said he wants to increase the height of the fence - which I specifically don't want to do. Their nasty orange mega fence on the other side is so ugly and I don't want that as my view.

The angle of the fence in relation to our lounge is such that as I sit on my sofa now, it's the fence I see. I'm going to need a lot of extra shrubs to cover it up.

The more I think of it, the more outraged I am that they think they can remove a perfectly good fence that we paid for. I'd be happy to compromise by adding some trellis for height but they'd have to pay for that as it's for their benefit not ours. But if what they want is naff bright orange and over bearing then I don't see that there is a compromise to be had.

Anyway, DH now knows that there is no way he can offer to pay without getting it in the neck from me!

We are going through this, there is no left or right belonging to anyone, according to our solicitor it's shared and we pay half each.
Irrespective of what's on the deeds.
We have similar neighbours, broken paths, subsiding, overgrown 20ft bushes and trees. Not looked after their property at all.

we had a brick wall to one side and most definitely joint. Next door lovely woman absolutely could not afford to pay 1/2 of wall - so we did it whilst builders in and bought her some plants where they were spoiled. But this was - the brick wall was bowed and might have fallen over - so not an aesthetic thing more a pragmatic / safety thing. If the fence is safe then I would say no need to pay @Walkingtheplank and then as you say - aesthetics.

Hope all goes well

There is no way I would have allowed the patio to extend under the fence!