WWYD - To buy alone?

[EhLov]

As with all of life's biggest decisions, I'm throwing this out to the mumsnet women.

I'm currently renting a very nice house, inner city, walkable to great school, nice neighbours, cafes and high street on our doorstep, rent paid for by boyfriend/The Dad of our 3 children (all under 5). It's all a very good situation.

But I am conscious every day that its not ours. Mainly, for my children, its not theirs.

I'd like to buy instead. I've been asking The Dad to apply/buy for 5 years (since children arrived) and he's dragged his heels this long.

He's in no hurry to buy (he earns well but is self employed, poorly organised, and I think afraid of a decline. I have little faith in any application he'd submit and am reluctant to tie my name to it)

He is further dissuaded by the fact that anything we can buy will be 100% worse than where we are: given that what we're in now is about as good as it gets. We couldn't afford to buy at the standard we're renting.

I can afford to buy alone.
But what I can buy is smaller, scruffier, and in a worse area than where we are now. I would have to drive to shops, school, work etc. and the whole decision would likely lead to a separation with me and The Dad.

I'm increasingly tempted to just go it alone, buy what I want, and invite him to just 'come along' if he wishes. I know he wouldn't because he would not live where I can afford, so we'd likely split up.

It would, on paper, be worsening our children's lives. But their home would then be theirs.

And I would be financially independent. Which is always safer / wiser, no?

I'm also heavily, heavily reluctant to sign up to a joint mortgage. He is disorganised and woefully ill prepared with financial matters, and petty in arguments (so wouldn't just split the property amicably if we split up) I feel I'd be putting myself in a dangerous position where half of my housing would be reliant on him.

Would you:

1. Buy alone in a worse area
2. Buy together in a better area
3. Carry on renting and stop stressing about ownership?

Personally I would purchase a house on a normal mortgage, stay where i was was, and then let the house out without the mortgage providers knowledge.

I appreciate this is wrong. But it's what I would do. For investment purposes.

I agree with Pinkdelight3 and others, that the whole language of your posts is just bizarre.
You talk about your partner, and the father of your dc, as if he is a lodger.

You don't seem to have any emotional attachment in the relationship. Which , IMO, makes it even more important to start putting down some financial roots and taking control yourself.
If it were me, I would want the security of knowing me and my dc had our own place to live, if we ended up on our own, which, given the very casual way your partner is mentioned, and you say "if he would come along" etc., doesn't seem an unlikely possibility.

It just seems odd to be talking about this so dispassionately as if it were just about a choice between two living arrangements, and not about your relationship, which seems the more crucial thing, to my mind.

Is he submitting self assessments every year? Does he have an accountant?

Some red flags here - are you sure he has been filing and paying his taxes every year?
If he has not.....then you need to protect yourself and your finances as he could be in a lot of trouble and definitely won't be paying the rent on an expensive house anyway.

If he has been filing self assessment and paying his taxes then he'll have the necessary paperwork to apply for a mortgage.

It doesn't quite seem to add up at the moment