Extend or refurb

[PurBal]

We're about to complete on our new home. We know it needs some work as it hasn't been updated since the nineties but we can't afford to do everything we want in one go. I'm pregnant so financially it could take a few years to achieve everything.

Option 1: extend. There is currently no utility area and the washing machine is in the porch. There is an outbuilding we could connect to the house to create a utility / boot room and downstairs loo (there isn't one at present) and possibly include a shower creating a second bathroom. The property is rural and we are avid hikers so not having to traipse mud through the house appeals, as does having adequate washing facilities once baby arrives. Would use all our budget to do this.

Option 2: refurb. Kitchen and bathroom plus new flooring and redecoration throughout. The kitchen is poorly designed with undercounter integrated fridge freezer, not enough storage for pantry items (current, single, owner uses the cupboard under the stairs), freestanding cooker isn't full size (>60cm). Best described as "higgledy piggledy". Even with redesign I'm not sure we could fit in a washing machine. Similarly the whole house needs updating, carpets are threadbare in places, bathroom is 25 years old, wallpaper peeling in places (and not to our taste). We would also probably have enough in the budget to replace our car. We love our car but it's a 3 door mini cooper and we would like a family car in the future. I worry that the kitchen and car could frustrate us and become issues fairly quickly.

What would you do? Thanks in advance for you help. We flit from one to the other.

I'd refurb. Get it out the way before the baby comes. I think you'd regret it if you extended first. Can you share pics?

I'd also seriously consider prioritising a bigger car, when are you due? Have you bought a pram? One might not fit in your current boot anyone. And it's a real pain having to climb to put a baby seat in the back of a car - those things are heavy and awkward!

I think order of priority for me would be -

Kitchen (it's done and out the way with)
Car
Bathroom (if it really does need replacing ASAP)
Living area
Baby bedroom
Your bedroom

Could you plumb in a washing machine in the kitchen, for now, until you build a utility, and then replace it with a dishwasher?

@NachoNachoMan thanks for your reply.

I would rather not share pictures but can do a floorplan (a bit of a technophobe so may be a while).

Due early July, first baby. We've not bought a pram but have been looking for neat ones to fit in the tiny car. Also seen advice to get baby in through the boot (may not be practical if I end up having a ECS or complications). I've found the pram researching process really tough, everyone says "buy one for your lifestyle" and I honestly can't think of how a pram would fit with our lifestyle at all. We're hikers. Prams can't go over styles so will need a carrier. When we shop we take backpacks to carry everything to keep our hands free. I envisage the pram living in the car and we will carry baby more than push. DH can carry 20kg easily, 15kg is my limit but I don't know how things will play out. For context: the closest shop (for essentials) is over flat fields (but with two styles) in less than 5 minutes or around the roads, including going down into the valley and back up again in 15.

Bathroom needs refreshing so tbh we could live with it.

Hadn't thought of plumbing in a washing machine for the time being and switching to a dishwasher - I like it! Thanks.

I think making the house liveable as it is will be great for your mood and make it nicer when you have the baby there. Make what is there nice and live in it for a bit. You may find your priorities changes as you live in the house and work out what you need as parents rather than a couple.

We lived in ours for a year before drawing the plans up. It helped to know where the light fell and how we actually used it. Fundamentally we are doing the same thing as we planned - creating a new kitchen diner/downstairs loo and utility, but doing it on a different side of the house than we thought we would.

We've realised where we were going to put the utility is actually the sunniest spot in the garden which gets the evening light and love sitting there in the evening.

And we got someone in to put a dishwasher in the kitchen by taking out a cupboard and have now moved the washing machine into the kitchen - till the building work is done. It's a bit all over the place but liveable.

But we had the washing machine and dryer in the outhouse for a year and it was fine.

What an exciting time for you, new house and a new baby!

I think it's really difficult to envisage life with a baby before you have one! Your priorities change, too, and what's important now might change when you have a baby, and again as they grow older. Baby carriers are great up until they are about 1, but they do get quite heavy and not as comfy when they're not a tiny cuddled close to you, but there is an awkward time between them getting too big to carry but can't walk for long enough not to have a pram, but it's one of those things you figure out as you go along and go with what works best for your family. Plus they need a lot of stuff when you go out, spare clothes, nappies, bottles & milk/breast pads, so it's easier to have a pram to put a changing back on the back. I'd say be open to realising what you thought and what reality is like might be quite different. But honestly, it really is no fun climbing to a baby seat in the back of a car - I would keep some funds back maybe consider purchasing a car if you do decide you need a bigger one?

As for your house, I'd focus on having somewhere comfortable to relax and a pleasant place to cook. You don't want to be without a kitchen with a new baby. and it's lovely but tiring having a baby, and you want somewhere to enjoy you baby and somewhere safe for them as they grow up, so I'd definitely have your living room ready, too.

If I could stretch the budget, I would extend + fix the kitchen. Having a good kitchen & good laundry space / boot room are both really really useful with a baby. Other bits of decor / bathroom etc can happen later and at a slower pace.

And if you are keen on hiking, get an Ergo sling and don't bother with a buggy at all. you might never need one.

Hmmm, it’s a tough choice - more space VS a more functional existing space. How long do you plan to stay in this house? If you’ll be there a long time, I’d probably do kitchen and refurb now, so you can live in a nice space whilst you save / build equity for the extension.

Then again, increasing floor space with an extension might add value and get you to your funding goal for the refurb faster, if you are able to remortgage once it’s done and release equity.

Coukd you put the washing machine in the outhouse as it is without doing a major job on it? We had that growing up, complete with clothesline. It worked well specially the sheltered clothesline

I think refurb rather than extend. Kitchen will be expensive but a pleasant and functional kitchen while you're at home all the time with a new baby is a necessity. Likewise the living room. You'll be on the couch a lot! But that needn't be expensive, laminate flooring can be laid by a competent diyer and you can spend whatever you like on it really, it comes in all price points, easy to keep clean when your baby starts crawling. Paint a pretty colour, your current TV and sofa, maybe splash out on a rug/curtains/cushions to tie it together. Same for your bedroom.
Pleasant clean and functional in the rooms you will be spending most of time is your priority for now I would think.

@MaryIsA thanks for your reply, I think waiting and seeing how things go for a bit is a good idea, actually living with it as opposed to thinking about living with it.

@NachoNachoMan thanks for your insight. I think that because I've never had a pram before it's difficult to see life with one. But yes things change and we're open to that. FWIW I've spent hours trying to understand the benefit of muslins for exactly the same reason: I've never needed them in my life before . I think you're right about the car, I've been trying to convince myself it will be fine.

@parietal doing both the extension and the kitchen would be the ideal, but ultimately comes down to finish and quotes. It may be doable, but it could be too tight.

@SheWouldNever the house could well be our "forever" home. It might not be of course but I would imagine at least 10 years. I do think remortgage could be an option when the time comes.

@7Days sadly the outhouse is a bit of a mess. There is electricity and plumbing out there but the roof needs replacing. One end is currently used as a wood store and the other is a fairly generous outside toilet but I don't think it's been used in over 50 years. "Pleasant clean and functional" in the current spaces does speak to me.

I'm not very good at replacing things we already have. Eg our divan bed came from a friend and is ancient but I'd rather spend the money on something we don't already have than on replacing the bed. And I think this attitude is filtering through to our decision making process, especially with the car for example.

Oh you'll be great once the baby comes, and soon get into the swing of things. What works for one family doesn't necessarily work for another. The amount of information and advice out there is so overwhelming, and I think especially at the moment when it's hard to sample things as shops aren't open. When my first was born I tried out all the prams etc in Mothercare and Toys R Us... Neither of which are around now - I can imagine it's quite hard without actually being able to look at things in person!

Muslin cloths

• over the shoulder when burping a baby - they quite often sick all their milk up, and muslins will protect your clothes and them can use to wipe the baby's mouth
• can be used as bibs when you've forgotten to pack one
• tuck into your top when breastfeeding to give you a bit of cover if you feel a bit exposed
• lay baby onto a muslin on top of a cold changing mat when out and about
• can be used to mop up all manor of bodily fluids from top and bottom end, I used to shove one in my kids beds when they had a snotty nose but were too young to leave with tissues
• lay baby on top of one in a pram if they are sicky to keep the mattress dry

I'm sure you'll come up with other uses ☺️

If you aren't sure what you should do, be very careful about doing anything now as you may make a mistake and end up having to re-do. 90's isn't that old. If the electrics and plumbing are ok, give the whole place a coat of paint and a deep clean, then live in it for 6 months/a year. As a PP said, you really get to see how how you use your house, where the light falls, where you want sockets etc. and you may want to extend (and may have more money if you wait) or change spaces in a different way.

I think by your thoughts about the car and getting the baby in from the boot (!!!!), you haven't fully realised just how life changing having a baby is. You will probably use your space completely differently once they have arrived.

Concentrate on getting in, getting it clean and relaxed, have the baby and let everything evolve. I wouldn't want to do a renovation while pregnant or with a new baby, far too stressful!

I also sold my beloved two door car a week before I was due as finally realised it wouldn't work... and didn't regret it. In just bought the same car again but with 4 doors now my children are older!

I would refresh the kitchen if it's really bad. You do need to have a space for the washer though. I had MOUNTAINS of laundry when DS was a baby. Could a unit come out for the washer to go in?

The outhouse sounds as if it's on its last legs so it would be expensive to make good or rebuild. However, it would be a good place to store stuff like the stroller?

I've got a mini and I doubt I could get a baby, stroller and groceries in it.

I honestly think the car is a priority. You may not use it much (as you walk) but when you do....being able to get the car seat in and out easily and fit your husband in with you and a pram/pushchair will be a priority.

As for a pushchair - if you aren't going to use it loads then get a lie flat stroller (think Maclaren techno) suitable from birth - the Downside is usually that you can't clip a car seat on but the upside is how small it will fold....but it will still be too long for a mini.

I was surprised when I tried to get baby seats in the corsca how much space they needed....the seat in front had to be pushed forward to make space. We coped for a while but we had a larger car to pack for a holiday.

As for the rest....how much would it cost to do up the outbuilding as that sounds like a good start....for a few thousand you can probably make that water tight, get the loo working again and you create space. Then you can live in the rest until you make a decision.

(As for why you want a buggy....hopefully you will make some mummy friends and pushing the babies for a walk is a great bonding exercise. - don't worry that it isn't what you would class a walk...e.g. a stroll through the park....but just think support company and solidarity with others going through a new baby as you do).

I honestly think living rurally that in your position I would prioritise an adequate car and life with the rest for now until you’re living there. As long as it’s clean then you can gradually do the house up how you want it over the years.

All I see on here are posts from country dwelling parents saying how much they rely on their car as public transport is so poor. Enjoying hiking is all very well when you’re just a couple and thinking of it as a leisure thing or just going to the shops as a couple but what happens when you need to take your poorly child to the GP or for a hospital appointment? Will you need a childminder or nursery? You’ll have less choice if it has to be in walking distance. Do you intend to go to baby groups or things like swimming classes? The rounds of birthday parties will happen sooner than you think and they won’t all be a walk away, but you will still need a car seat.

You probably haven’t considered how sloooow young children walk. And how soon they get tired. And quickly they become heavy. And how soon the amount of shopping that you need to carry/fit in your boot increases. Etc etc.

I didn’t realise all of this before I had my own children.

I agree with previous poster. Move in. Live there for a bit and consider what you really need short term and long term, what your funds will look like long term too. You’re viewing things with the funds you have right now.

Personally though, I’d extend. Having extra space can help ease pressure on a too small space. Someplace for your muddy shoes (not tripping over them when you want to use the washing machine in existing porch), perhaps store the pram and keeping washing out if the way appeals to me. Planned well, your utility/mud room could possibly have extra storage you need in short term while you plan your ideal kitchen.

@CurlyhairedAssassin

I honestly think living rurally that in your position I would prioritise an adequate car and life with the rest for now until you’re living there. As long as it’s clean then you can gradually do the house up how you want it over the years.

All I see on here are posts from country dwelling parents saying how much they rely on their car as public transport is so poor. Enjoying hiking is all very well when you’re just a couple and thinking of it as a leisure thing or just going to the shops as a couple but what happens when you need to take your poorly child to the GP or for a hospital appointment? Will you need a childminder or nursery? You’ll have less choice if it has to be in walking distance. Do you intend to go to baby groups or things like swimming classes? The rounds of birthday parties will happen sooner than you think and they won’t all be a walk away, but you will still need a car seat.

You probably haven’t considered how sloooow young children walk. And how soon they get tired. And quickly they become heavy. And how soon the amount of shopping that you need to carry/fit in your boot increases. Etc etc.

I didn’t realise all of this before I had my own children.

Allllll of this! I was hopelessly naive when I had my first born and was of the opinion that the baby would just have to fit in with my lifestyle. Consequently I ended up with quite severe postnatal anxiety as I couldn't comprehend how many sacrifices I was having to make and how much my life had changed. I really think a reliable, spacious 4 door car with a big boot should be your priority.

@parietal

If I could stretch the budget, I would extend + fix the kitchen. Having a good kitchen & good laundry space / boot room are both really really useful with a baby. Other bits of decor / bathroom etc can happen later and at a slower pace.

And if you are keen on hiking, get an Ergo sling and don't bother with a buggy at all. you might never need one.

Came on to say exactly this. These are what in would prioritise A functional kitchen and downstairs bathroom would be the priority for me

I'd make the current space as lovely as possible before the baby comes. It's very hard to get anything done with babies and kids around and any upheaval at that time is stressful- to me anyway.