Stay and extend, or bungalow

[BondiRescueHoppo]

We live in social housing, DD1 (disabled), DD2 and I. We currently live in a smallish house but big enough for us - nice size bedrooms etc. Following an OT assessment we have been offered the opportunity to either extend to build a downstairs bedroom and bathroom for DD1, or be rehoused in a 3 bedroom bungalow. There are a number of these being built in our town, for which we are pretty much top priority.

However. DD2 does not want to move to a bungalow as she knows the rooms will be smaller and she will have less privacy. DD1 doesn't mind either way.

I feel for DD2 as she has compromised a lot over the years due to DD1's needs, and I don't want her to start resenting her. However, our house now isn't perfect and the idea of moving to a brand new building is very appealing.

Has anyone been in a similar predicament and would be willing to share any advice please?

How old is DD2 and how long is she likely to be living at home. This should be about your long term plan.

Obviously you can’t change room size, so that’s a relevant factor, but why will there be less privacy? We live in a bungalow (now with loft conversion) and there was no change in privacy from the 3 storey townhouse we rented before

I'd go for the downstairs extension. Family life in a bungalow isn't ideal IMHO. But in the end you need to try and make the best decision for your own family. On the other hand If the bungalow is going to be bigger then it's certainly worth considering.

DD2 is 14 and I think she is worried about being overheard whilst on the phone with her friends - which is currently non stop!

I think she's also got her eye on what will become the spare bedroom upstairs... However that has now got me wondering if we will have to pay the bedroom tax if we stay here as technically we will have 4 bedrooms when we only need 3.

I love bungalows! I've bought two in my life already and I'm mid 30s. Some people worry about the stigma attached to them but I find them brilliant to live in and there are easy ways to address the privacy issue, if there is one.
I don't think the rooms will be tiny in social housing, I think it's stricter in terms of what they can class as a bedroom than the private sector?
I understand wanting not to upset your DD, but she will not be with you forever and this sounds like it could be a forever home for you and your disabled DC? She will probably forget about her objections when you have moved in. Is there a way you could appease her? Ie tell her she can have the pick of bedrooms?
Another point is that living through building work at home is not easy. We are essentially forced into it as we could not afford a house which is 'done' but if I could, I would move in to an immaculate new/newly developed house.

I would totally take the bungalow, you probably won’t get an opportunity like this again and it sounds like by far the best for you and your DD1. Teens are very self absorbed and I think DD2 needs to recognise that her needs/wants are not the only priority. In a similar situation I found an older family member having a chat really helped them see it from the other side.

I really wouldn’t want the disruption of building work, it is enormously disruptive at the best of times and your concern about bedroom tax is also valid.

I live in a bungalow with three teens.

It’s much easier than a house!

Yes you can hear ‘sounds’ on them in the phone but they can put music on low and still be heard.

The heating bills would be cheaper, you can plug the vacuum in and do the whole house, downside, there’s no bannister to dry the washing!

Can you wait and view the bungalow?

Can you take her to visit one to see? So she can visualise it.

I would be concerned about bedroom tax too. I don't know if there are exceptions for these situations though, it's worth asking the Council. I would also ask what happens when DD2 eventually moves out, if you stay if the current house and have 2 empty bedrooms, will you be penalised?

All very good points, many thanks. We have placed a bid for one of the bungalows - there are 5 available and we are currently no 6, so I guess we can at least go and view them. I hope they allow me to take DDs to view as well, as I think with Covid times they only allow 1.

@BammBamm you're correct in that it will probably be a forever home for DD1 and I, and that is a huge pulling point. Lol about the no bannister/washing issie

@Evenstar I hope I havent gave the wrong impression of DD2, she is a very lovely and conisderate child who often misses out because of DD1 - yet she never complains. I do understand what you are saying though, and I am going to get her grandma to have a chat with her later about it, as grandma's dad has just moved in to a bungalow and is finding life a lot easier!

@SushiGo I will definitely ask about the bedroom tax if and when I get offered a new property in order to make an informed decision about staying put. Being taxed on one spare room may be doable, but two definitely not!

Good luck OP. I hope it all works out for you.

💐@BondiRescueHoppo I am sure your DD is lovely, just all teens can be a bit like that (veteran of 5 here 😂)

Good luck with the viewing and bid

I love bungalows. You use the space so much more efficiently that multi storey houses. I say go for it.

As the bungalows are being newly built, they'll be better insulated so bills will be lower and it will be warmer, too. Plus they usually have bigger gardens, if that's something that is important to you.

Bedroom tax is a really good point, and maybe if you had 2 spare rooms you'd end up moving again to a smaller property. I don't know how old you are, but a bungalow is something that you know will be suitable for both your daughter but also you as you get older.

Hopefully you'll be able to come up with some sort of arrangement with your daughter, maybe giving her the best bedroom or the one furthest away from the main living area as a compromise.

My main concern with a bungalow would be having the bedroom window open at night. my schoolfriend lived in a bungalow(prefab),, and she woke up one night to see a man exposing himself. My own worry would be my cat (and her friends) paying me nocturnal visits.

Most people don’t have issues as described above!

I would take the bungalow. The rooms can be used for all sorts of things, surely? Home office/quiet room for homework? Dining room? Hobby room? As the rooms are mostly on the same level, who says they are bedrooms? Make sure this a designated as three bedrooms and give DD2 her space. Often siblings to disabled DC have it tough and she will always have responsibilities after you have gone! So sell the opportunities to her regarding space and room use.

Just been editing my watched threads list and came across my old thread re possible moving to accomodate DD so though I would provide an update.

Before the bungalows were finished a council builder came out to assess our house for an extension and sadly ruled it out due to points of entry/exit/drains etc. I say sadly...

Fortunately for us we were then bumped up to top of the list, and I was happy enough to be moved anywhere within DD2 school bus routes, a gorgeous 2 bedroom house with massive downstairs extension for bedroom and wetroom came up, and we got it! It is so lovely here, house is still a 3 bedroom so no bedroom tax until DD2 eventually moves out, it is walking distance for DD2 school bus stop, a lot closer to her school for when she stays after school. Plus, DD1 has a gorgeous room with french doors out in to the garden - which is fully wheelchair accessible.

I feel very blessed and a belated thank you to those posters who helped me decide on my options

What a lovely update (didn't see the original thread and didn't notice the dates till I got to the end).