How did you know it was 'the one?'

[Ladyof]

I've been looking for houses about 8 months now, liked lots of them and seen potential but felt like we were compromising on certain things, the latest one ticks all boxes apart from the bedrooms are quite small. I dont know whether to go for it or hang fire for something else.

We have quite a specific list of wants and needs and I am willing to compromise on things although obviously finding something which met them all would be perfect.

Everyone keeps saying I will know when I've viewed the right house so I'm thinking well I've liked them but didnt feel like I knew it was the one. Does this mean I havent found the one?

Hope that makes sense. How did you feel? This will hopefully be our last house before we retire so I want to get it right.

OP, if you have a list of specifics, stick to them. Don’t compromise. But you will need to increase your budget. You can’t do both. I would wait and raise the budget than compromise.

DH and I have bought two houses. One of them, yes, I did get a "this is the one" feeling. The other was more of a practical "this ticks most of the boxes for what we need right now" decision. I think maybe it was because the practical one was a new build - it's harder to feel passionate about a house that's very similar to all the others around it. But both houses worked well for us and we were very happy in both. So I don't think you need the "this is the one" feeling.

We have been looking for a similar about of time and have viewed lots of places. We found one house where we had that immediate 'this is the one feeling'. But we didn't get it as despite offering over asking, someone else came in with an insane offer that we couldn't match. So even finding 'the one' isn't a guarantee. My feeling now is to find a house we really like and try to make it 'the one' over time.

Or current house, certainly.
We have lived here for 4 years and still love it.
Will love it even more once we get the kitchen sorted

You’ll feel it.

I felt it in my first house.

When we were viewing last year, we put offers on a couple of houses that were fine, ticked lots of boxes, but didn’t spark the love. I would’ve been perfectly happy to live in them.

But when they fell through and we got to this one i knew. Was making doe eyes and doing heart signs with my hands like a teenager at DH as soon as the agent turned his back to open the front door properly (I loved the tiles on the porch floor and they hadn’t been in the photos!)

Oh, obviously this house was way over our accepted budget but I had to make it happen because it was The One.

If you’re not in a rush and it’s a long term move, hold off until you feel it.

With my last 2 houses, we had looked at enough houses in our search area to know the types of housing stock available and which had the best proportions / plot size for us. But then we’ve always bought fixer uppers so our focus has been on overall footprint / potential rather than current layout, decor, and condition.

Have bought 3 properties and with 2 I knew straight away and they worked for me. The one where I talked myself into it was a total nightmare and a huge regret as well as a financial drain.

I definitely agree with going with your gut feeling as well as your list of what you need in a property. I think your subconscious helps but we don't always know why.

Think it depends - if you're wanting the ready-made perfect house, and have the budget to match, then yes, I imagine you might want to feel the love as soon as you walk in.

Our budget has meant we've never been in that position unfortunately, we've always bought houses that we've needed to make into "the one" if you see what I mean. I did walk into our current house and think yes, this has the potential to become a perfect home, but it was more of a head decision rather than a heart decision.

I think there is too much emphasis on "forever home" and "wow factor" on property programmes, leading us to think we somehow deserve that perfect home, and that anything less than a (fully modernised) Georgian rectory is selling ourselves short.

Even if your budget is millions, there will always be some little niggle that's blighting the picture. The bigger the budget, the bigger the wishlist.

We went for the worst house in the best street. I can't say I love our house, but I love the road!

Generally there is always compromise. Often people count themselves off the property ladder for ever because they are always waiting for the perfect house.

Yes you can save up more and go bigger, but you’re risking the market doesn’t increase faster than you save and you end up with less than you could have originally got.

I think if you’re fully aligned with the type of property you can afford then you will fall in love and know it’s the one. But if you’re hankering after something you can’t afford it will never ever happen for you.

I knew it was the one. It wasn't perfect. Needed work and slightly out of ideal location.

But be aware of what you want vs what your budget is. Are you being realistic in holding out?

We had accepted an offer on ours and our buyers were keen to move ASAP so we needed to get on with it. We made offers on 2 houses we liked, both turned down. This was the next house we saw that we liked. Not “the one”, just the one we liked and could afford and was for sale at the right time. Love it here, haven’t regretted the move for one minute.

Agree with pp, it depends on whether your budget is realistic for what you want.

We bought our current house because it ticked every box. Detached, good-sized bedrooms, large driveway, south facing garden. But the compromise was that it needed a tonne of work. It was the only way we could afford it.

You say that with this house the bedrooms are small - would there be any way to change this? Could you remodel/extend? If not, maybe it’s not the right house.

Lots of things can be changed, but I wouldn’t buy a house if I couldn’t easily change what I wanted.

Mine was the one without question. Fell in love with the photos and as I walked up the drive I wanted to live here. Made an offer walking back up the drive. More than I had planned to pay but not much. And worth every penny. I still adore my house

I don't get this feeling because I'm naturally quite a positive person, so I can see a house and start to imagine us living there, planning etc. Having moved 8 times in as many years I am used to working with that I have got. So I'm bad for compromising a bit too much tbh! That said, we always make it work! Not sure if that's a help or not, but very happy with our current house but wouldn't say I got "the feeling" any more than the 2 other houses we nearly bought last year that I'm sure would have worked well too.

I bought houses that were in the right location, would work for our family and were within budget. I've never fallen in love and felt a house was "the one" but because we buy houses which need work (I like older houses, would never buy a new build), I've fallen in love with them as we've done them. Our current house was bought because it was all that was available in budget in the village we needed to move to before DH deployed in 2 months time. We've been here 5 years, completely changed the house and are about to start another major project to add two extensions. I love the place now because it's ours and we've a lot of happy memories here and decor which makes us smile.

Surprised by the amount of comments saying there will be 'the one'.

We've owned and rented lots of properties, sometimes at short notice, so had to take what was available. I've 'never' had a feeling of a particular house being 'the one' when I was viewing. Of the 2 favourite houses that I've lived in, both had features that I considered undesirable when viewing. But I was totally converted after living in them.

The only 2 things I wouldn't compromise on is location, if somewhere feels off then walk away. If the house also has a bad feel I'd walk away, I'm not remotely woo, but I have viewed houses that have made feel uneasy for no discernible reason.

It's easier to have a "dealbreaker" list, and stick to that, rather than chase the ideal house which only exists on television or in films, and only then because they have pieced together one's house's interior with the exterior of another and sited them in an altogether different location.

Sorry, no idea why I've put never in quotation marks.

Both times I bought a home i walked in and just knew it was meant to be mine. both times i actually ended up compromising on the size a bit especially of the bedrooms. But why do i need a humongous bedroom anyway

@SusannaSpider

Surprised by the amount of comments saying there will be 'the one'.

We've owned and rented lots of properties, sometimes at short notice, so had to take what was available. I've 'never' had a feeling of a particular house being 'the one' when I was viewing. Of the 2 favourite houses that I've lived in, both had features that I considered undesirable when viewing. But I was totally converted after living in them.

The only 2 things I wouldn't compromise on is location, if somewhere feels off then walk away. If the house also has a bad feel I'd walk away, I'm not remotely woo, but I have viewed houses that have made feel uneasy for no discernible reason.

We are humans, we like to make an emotional connection or the cost of it all seems too daunting. I adore my house but objectively, I'd be as happy in a thousand others, if not happier. Same as soul mates. People like to feel Gary from Slough is "the one" but realistically, Derek from Hull is probably just as good.

Agree with pp, it depends on whether your budget is realistic for what you want

This. If you’re always looking at more expensive properties, or what other people you know have, or even rent more than you can afford to buy, then often no property comes up to scratch. And there will never ever be the one.

If however you’re realistic about what you can afford then it’s likely you’ll find the one.

Op for example, you say the bedrooms are too smal in this one. Too small in comparison to what? Other houses you could buy or what you’d want. Because the latter could be something you can’t afford

Secondly having a “list” and looking for the perfect house, exclaiming you’re willing to compromise, yet never doing so, is simoly ensuring you don’t buy, maybe ever. Because the market could get away from you. You’ve already likely missed out on thr stamp duty break, and it’s going to cost you thousands more, you could have been in yout own home by now and using that money to make changes to make it more your style, new decor, new garden furniture, new furniture, landscaping, new kitchen worktops, new bathroom etc.

Instead you still don’t have a home, and every day it’s costing you more, becayse it’s likely the bubble will burst when lock down is over, and the warmer weather is on us and house prices will increase.

Our first house, I loved from the moment I stepped inside and was quite emotional. FF about 8 months later and actually a lot of the things I'd been happy to compromise on began to annoy me...we moved 13 months after we bought it.

Our second (current and likely long term home) neither of us loved on first viewing but I kept thinking about it, it ticked all our boxes and because I wasn't emotionally attached we put in a cheeky offer which paid off. I love it now.

Thanks for your replies.

My budget is definitely reasonable as I've seen houses that tick all boxes well within my budget over the last few years, what is more difficult is I am wanting one of 3 estates and on these estate the houses rarely go for sale.

The one I have seen is on the estate. Nothing we can do about room sizes as no room to extend sadly.

It is a real mix of people who say you'll know its the one and others who say if it works with what you want you will make it the one!!