Buying a house - not married

[Adulting2021]

Me and my fiancé are looking to buy our first house together.
We have been together 12 years and have a 4yo DD.
Currently rent, DF has 2 buy to let's, one has sold and the next will be for sale shortly. The money made from these with what he has saved will be the deposit for our forever home.
Now, we're not married and we do not have a mirror will. Am I right in thinking if this house is to be in both of our names I should push for one of the above?
We got engaged after being together for 2 years but then getting married just never appealed to us for many reasons. I would feel bad to push this purely because we are getting a joint mortgage.
Advise very welcome.

Again life insurance can be changed at anytime. You are relying on him being kind. If you were to separate all of this would be meaningless. If he was to die you are not next of kin. Legally this even applies in hospital’s terms next of kin being updated with news.

You're completely unprotected and vulnerable if you're not married. The alternative is to put the house in joint names so that if you split up in the future, you're not left homeless on the streets. Set up your own pension scheme as well as getting yourself named as beneficiary of his.

OP You might find this accurate, impartial summary of the legal differences between marriage /civil partnership and living together helpful:

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

Myself and DH didn’t get married until we were expecting DC2 and part of that was I was fed up of being asked all the time if I was the mother due to my different surname.
Once married I kept my original surname for work etc and only really started using my married name about 5 years later.
I’m now mid 50s and in the past year 3 sets of good friend have secretly got married after being together for years, I believe that tax implications/inheritance have been a driving force in their decision to finally get married, as you get older you want to make sure you have things tied down for yourself and your children.

Big implications for IHT if not married. I never see why it’s so important not to marry. It doesn’t have to be anything lavish or expensive. We know couples who have got round to it eventually but more who didn’t marry and split up. That’s more common.

Thanks for the most recent posts. Looks like marriage is the most sensible offer.

@PresentingPercy it was never so important to not marry but I feel like we should both really want to rather than both be impartial. We were young when we got engaged.

You were not so casual about a child though, who you now need to think about. I don’t see it as a big deal in terms of wanting it desperately. It’s a “need to” issue. Common sense. If you love each other, why not? In many respects it’s easier than not bothering when you have property and responsibilities.

I’ve been married 21 years
I never wear a ring
I’ve never changed my name
My ID and bank accounts passports driving licence is still in my maiden name
But I have that little piece of paper that gives me some protection if I need it

@megafish sadly the government changed that about 5 years ago. The payments only last for a few years now.

@Adulting2021

Thanks for the reply *@hamnarajan*

Yes, we're not bothered about getting married at the moment so wouldn't want to just for the sake of it. It wouldn't change anything in our relationship. I just read so many threads about if the man leaving and then I'd be homeless. I don't for one minute think that would happen but..

Anyway, choose your decision wisely dear. My blessings are with you!

More people walk away from non married life than they do from marriage.

Wills, pensions and life insurance can be altered at any time without your knowledge. Even married he can give away his share of the house in his will to someone else.

Until my husband died I had to make sure everything on my end was iron clad Incase I died first. Divorce wasn’t an option as I had better off on paper and he would have got more than what he took when we split.