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Do you regret buying your house?

34 replies

onthecraggyside · 21/02/2021 10:56

Does anyone else feel like this about their house?

We moved in 6+ years ago with the very naive thought that this house would be our forever home and would only be a very small project, (redecorating mostly). In reality it is a money pit and renovations are still very much ongoing.
I don’t like the area anymore, and DH commutes 2hrs per day to and from his work, so it’s not even particularly convenient for that.
The DCs are settled at a good school, and like the area, so moving isn’t really an option (youngest DC has just started primary school), but I often find myself on rightmove hoping that ‘the dream house’ will come up somewhere, and justify uprooting everyone...

Money still needs to be spent on the house, (which we still need to save up for), and I flit between wanting to renovate to suit us, or to renovate in a style that will resell most easily. I also often wonder whether it’s worth spending any money on the house at all, and whether saving for another house would be a better option.

Our DCs have only ever known living in a house mid renovation, and we’ve put lots of other things on hold to try and facilitate the renovations. We have always seemed unlucky and have had numerous issues with tradespeople.

That being said, I am attached to the house, because of the memories with the DCs mostly, and the dream I had when we moved in of what it could have been (before I knew about all the issues), so I am just like a broken record continually flitting between love and hate. I’ve had many many conversations with DH about it, and most of the time there is no answer really. We did once decide we were going to move, but I then instantly worried that we would accidentally move to somewhere worse, and I would regret moving and uprooting the DCs, so we stayed put.

I just feel like buying this house has had some positives, but has largely tainted our lives since we bought it, and I now regret buying it in the first place.

I wonder if any one else has felt/ is feeling like this? And if you’ve managed to rationalise it and move forward in some way?

OP posts:
PanickedBuyer · 22/02/2021 22:27

I may be about to be in the same situation (buying a house I’m not 100 per cent sure about), but I loved my current flat when I bought it... so much so that I used to be late for work as I’d primp cushions and admire the rooms when I should have been heading to station 😂

Also talking to my mum earlier- who sold up family house to move 2 years ago, she says she loves house more and more each day (we all like it too)

I get being attached to a house, but I think it happens to adults more than kids! And you move past it once you start enjoying being in a house that meets your needs better

Times have changed and needs change, but in your situation doesn’t sound like you like your place that much, so I’d move unless finances are the issue

StareIntotheMaggotDrawer · 22/02/2021 23:12

Yes I do, and I also feel the house is tainted now so even work needed is done, I feel like I won’t be able to get past the shit show it was.

We bought it 5 years ago, and I was aware that it needed a lot of work. We did the basics and had it replastered, rewired and new floor when we moved in. What’s left is a new kitchen, bathroom, patio, and the front needs sorting out.

The bigger jobs were expected but it is the more smaller or straightforward jobs that have really ruined it for me. The previous owners bodged things I didn’t know you could bodge so every time we get try to tick a smaller, cheaper job off the list, it just creates more work and ends up looking worse than before. For example a section of the patio is a mixture of old kitchen tiles and some sort of vinyl. Only uncovered as part of a smaller ‘quick’ job.

At the front of the house, there were some old reflective panels screwed in to the brick. I can’t remember why we took them down, I think it might have been to do with capping a gas pipe near it, but it revealed whole missing bricks and there are some sort of clear plastic bags filled with what looks like cloth stuffed into the gaps.

There are lots of odd things like this, which individually don’t seem like much but when there are so many odd things it is very wearing.

What has really had the worst impact though is the back garden.

The garden is a decent size, and it looked nice on at face value but I have pulled out 3-4 skips worth of bricks, concrete slabs, and rubble (large pieces) from the soil. Also asbestos and iron. Most of it was buried at surface level, with just a layer or two of soil over it, enough to not be visible but not deep enough to be ignored. It was all along the borders, all around the back.

Over time, weeds and ivy roots tangled up around it all in in the ground. I have spent the last two summers pulling it all out. Many of the existing shrubs etc were damaged in the process, and there are still little bits of broken rock embedded in the grass which makes mowing a deathtrap, because they fling around.

It actually hurt to straighten my feet for months last year because of the impact of trying to push in a shovel and hitting concrete every time.

We’ve got just about one last skip full to get rid of, now that the weather is picking up but because I was spending much of my free time in the nicer months digging out the rubble, the rest of the garden has become badly neglected and I really can’t face starting all over again, trying to make it nice. Can’t afford to outsource it though as we have the other big jobs to get done.

We are finally in a position to get some of the bigger jobs done, and I have spent years looking at ideas, saving images of this and that, but now that we can do it I think a) what’s the point and b) what on earth are we going to find when we rip out the existing kitchen or bathroom.

The only, and I mean only good thing about it is the surroundings. Behind us there are council bungalows, so even though our street is mainly terraces, we are not overlooked from the back, and we know it will always be quiet from that side.

Our neighbours are all nice and I feel safe for the most part, not just from crime but from all of the nightmare neighbour stories you hear, which was one of my biggest worries as a FTB.

Also, I like older houses with good sized, established gardens but I honestly don’t know how I could be sure that the garden situation wouldn’t happen again at the next house. I can barely bring myself to pull out a weed now, let alone any more concrete😂

I would post pictures of the before and after, and all of the shit we have pulled out but I’m honestly ashamed. One of the neighbours told me it used to be called the junkyard, when the previous owners were here because the garden was always full of shit so at least I don’t feel judged, as they know it’s not our doing!

(So sorry for the novel, but I needed this)

IamwhoIsayIam · 23/02/2021 11:01

@user1471538283 - I'm really hoping that's not the house you are currently selling as that sounds exactly the same list of home improvements as the current owners did to the house I'm buying!

gigi556 · 23/02/2021 11:56

I love our location but don't like the house. We've been here 4.5 years and we've recently decided we should move. It's a Victorian terrace spread over 4 floors and I dream of a bungalow or just a two story house. It's not very practical for a family (I was pregnant when we bought it), the lounge is small and the downstairs layout isn't great. It did need work doing but the cost of everything is mounting. I'm just done. We had quotes to do a cellar conversion and the cost is eye watering and we'd still be left with a layout we don't love. My next house will have more open plan living, a porch/muddy boot room, and downstairs loo!

onthecraggyside · 23/02/2021 12:06

Wow, thanks for all of your replies!

I'm really sorry that some of you are in similar situations, and I've not been great at commenting back - I hadn't realised quite how raw I felt about it all until I started reading what some of you have been through. It is very draining, and I'm sure not many of us would willingly sign up to do it again! (Though obviously I am very grateful to be in a position where I have been able to buy a house etc. and know that I am very privileged compared to lots of others if this is one of my main worries!)

It's really good to hear that some of you don't regret buying your houses as well. To people that have had issues with their homes and have found the light at the end of the tunnel and ended staying put, or realised that moving is the right decision is nice to hear about as well. I really lack that clarity, but have taken on board lots of the comments in this thread, so thank you very much for that!

I think if we didn't have DCs we would definitely move. I hear what some of you have said about moving while kids are still in primary school, and it's something that's been on my mind a lot. I do agree that we will be even more stuck probably if we wait too much longer, but my eldest DC especially is very sensitive and often tells me how much he loves this house and his school. His opinion is a real driving force for us staying put. There are good opportunities in the local and wider area for the kids as they get older, (maybe not so much if we lived in a more rural area, which would be my ideal), so I often consider this as well. Unfortunately, the housing in the area local to DC's school (in our budget), is largely built by the same company that built our house, so that's not an option unfortunately. One of my bugbears about this area is the 24/7 road noise from the A road which skirts around the whole area, so there is no escaping that really unless we move away from here. It's one of the things which I only really noticed once we had moved in, and didn't hear during our viewings... Definitely something to check very keenly if/when we do move somewhere else!

I sometimes think it would be much easier if I trained myself into having the attitude that houses are only bricks and mortar anyway, and as long as we are functioning okay here as a family then I needn't worry about it, but I am an emotionally guided person really and haven't honed that skill so far!

Homeschooling calls now, but I'll reply to comments individually later on. Thanks again.

OP posts:
snowspider · 23/02/2021 12:22

We have a code for uncovered bodged/dangerous previous DIY. When we moved into our last house the neighbours said "You are so lucky. Mick did such a lot of work on the house and he was meticulous."

We have moved on from there but we still refer to all the wrongly installed and covered up disasters in our current house as "done by Meticulous Mick".

user1471538283 · 23/02/2021 16:24

@IamwhoIsayIam - no it's been long sold! If your new house has already had these works done you will be fine!

Hallyup5 · 23/02/2021 21:55

I don't regret buying our house but I wish we'd had longer to spend looking for one. We were in a position where we had to buy what was on the market at the time. I was heavily pregnant, my husband refused to move into rented and we had an impatient buyer. I'd have liked a bigger garden, ideally, and something with a bit more character.

MrsBennetsnerves · 24/02/2021 01:42

I regretted my house purchase as soon I moved, although I have been here 21 years now because it was convenient for many of those years. I had sold a house which was impractical due to its coastal location and a long commute. Although I first suggested the decision to sell up, there was a kind of mourning period afterward. Now I'm wondering if I should go before a price crash. I don't want to stay in London for the rest of my life and although I came to terms with the house long ago I feel like the location probably meets my needs less than it did when younger. In principle DH agrees with that last point but he hasn't got a strong motivation to go either. Also there's not one area we're both strongly set on. This could take years at this rate.

The previous house was a potential money pit. Yet this needs work too, party due to shoddy 80s building so if we sell it will probably be as a fixer upper.

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