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Original poster

New neighbour etiquette

55 replies

biser · 19/02/2021 14:54

We are supposed to have new NDN moving in soon.

Are we supposed to introduce ourselves and welcome them to the neighbourhood? Or are they supposed to knock our door and introduce themselves?

Which way is the 'proper' one? I don't want to appear overfriendly nor standoffish.
Help!

OP posts:
ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 19/02/2021 22:51

I wouldn't knock, and certainly not with biscuits or a card. We're in lockdown, and that would make some people very stressed and nervous, especially if they're shielded.

I'd try and casually catch them unloading while you're off on a daily walk. No knocking, no gifts or treats. Just "hi, we're number 12".

SoupDragon · 19/02/2021 22:52

I'm not sure now is the right time to be baking stuff or popping round.

(I would hate to get baked stuff from a stranger TBH, I wouldn't eat it)

GoneScone · 19/02/2021 22:55

I knocked and gave a welcome card and a basket of gifts to my NDNs when they moved in. They have been nothing but noise-nuisance arseholes ever since Sad

Leafdelta · 19/02/2021 22:59

Wow! Just leave them to it OP. Have had a recent (ish) move and don’t get this getting to know you stuff. It all feels a bit forced and (apologies to USA posters) a bit like trying to force stuff and be “neighbourly” Give it time and give them space not least because of pandemic and you know nothing about them or their circumstances

user1499113169 · 19/02/2021 23:13

We moved a couple of weeks before Christmas and some of our sent us Christmas cards as a welcome. They never came up to us directly as we were moving things in just popped them through the letterbox and left it to us then to respond

SnowdaySewday · 20/02/2021 00:06

Opposite neighbour in a previous house waited several weeks, then came and knocked on my back door. She told me that her cat had gone missing about the time I’d moved in and that was a bit too much to be a coincidence so she was checking that I hadn't taken the cat.

If you don't do that, I'm sure you'll be fine.

AllMyPrettyOnes · 20/02/2021 00:10

Nothing? We just moved and haven't even met our neighbours. Couldn't imagine any of us going knocking on each other's doors.

Midlifephoenix · 20/02/2021 00:34

A friendly wave if you see them actually move in. Then I'd go round the next day and knock on the door and step back - once they open just say welcome to the neighbourhood and say you are happy to answer any questions about bin collections etc. I think they would just like to know there's a friendly person next door.

PhilCornwall1 · 20/02/2021 00:49

Are we supposed to introduce ourselves and welcome them to the neighbourhood? Or are they supposed to knock our door and introduce themselves?

Blimey, is there an etiquette to this? Have lived where we are for 19 years and so have most of the neighbours. Apart from one set, I haven't much got past "alright?" as a conversation. That in my book is familiar enough.

AlwaysLatte · 20/02/2021 01:13

Card with your names and brief welcome and phone number in case they need info and a bottle of wine on the doorstep. Otherwise they might think you're being nosy.

whatisthislifesofullofcare · 20/02/2021 01:18

Our new neighbour (arrived yesterday) came round today with a gift, we were in work meetings (and pyjamas 😬) so said hi/bye; we went tonight to say thanks and hello but we interrupted their kids tea, so it was hi/bye in reverse 😁. I thought it was nice of them to pop round regardless; I am not keen on those who arrive when you are filthy and frazzled from the move and say patronisingly ‘welcome to our neighbourhood’. sod off.

katy1213 · 20/02/2021 01:34

Leave them alone! Say good morning if you pass them on the street - if months could pass before this happens, then be grateful that you're not living on top of each other.
Cards, chats, unsolicited visits, god forbid gifts and home-baking - why put people in the embarrassing situation that they have to freeze you out if they want to keep themselves to themselves? Maybe they should put it in the estate agent's window: 'Sold to a Lady. Doesn't do babysitting/cups of sugar/gossip/whatsapp/taking in of parcels/street parties. Ever.'

katy1213 · 20/02/2021 01:39

@philcornwalll1 You sound exactly my type! You're welcome here - with empty hands - any time you like! All right?

Wingedharpy · 20/02/2021 01:43

@katy1213 : Excellent idea!

My card would say,
"Happy to receive gifts of wine (not homebrew), chocolate or money, but don't even think of trying to get 1 foot over the threshold. She may walk your dog, if it's cute and well behaved".

Chloemol · 20/02/2021 01:51

Depends. Someone new moved in here a few years ago, I introduced myself and got the filthiest look possible and have been totally ignored since, as have most others

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/02/2021 01:55

Met next door when the fence fell down and that was it. Now they annoy the hell out of me and probably the same to them.

Topseyt · 20/02/2021 02:10

There is absolutely no etiquette to be followed here. Leave them alone to get settled in. A friendly hello if you see them in the street is perfectly sufficient.

Absolutely NO need whatsoever to be charging round there with cakes, biscuits, cards with your names and phone numbers on. I can't believe people actually do that and would find it weird and intrusive if I were ever to be on the receiving end. I'd feel as though my neighbours were watching me when I just prefer to do it all in my own time.

Why sudden eagerness from some to give name and phone number to people they really don't yet know?

Nor would I need or want people coming to tell me when bin day is. I can get that information in seconds from the local council website.

PhilCornwall1 · 20/02/2021 02:17

[quote katy1213]@philcornwalll1 You sound exactly my type! You're welcome here - with empty hands - any time you like! All right?[/quote]
Alright

AlCalavicci · 20/02/2021 02:26

I would not knock on their door , moving house is stressful , having complete strangers interrupt your unpacking or the first sit down and brew you have had all day would not go down well .

I would wait a few days then stick a card through the door with your name / house number on and things like what day which bins go out , the local taxi numbers , which shops you can top up the gas and electric up at , milk mans , window cleaner etc numbers .
So useful info for them but not pushy on your part , then just say hi to them when you see them in the street

Topseyt · 20/02/2021 02:33

I have new neighbours who moved in a few weeks before Christmas. I haven't met them yet as our paths simply haven't crossed. They seem to be gutting their house and doing it up.

I'll have to go round soon as we have a tree surgeon coming to prune a tree of ours that has got ridiculously large and he will ideally need some access from their side, and to go round there and clear up any debris that drops.

That will be our first meeting and will be perfectly civil and friendly. I won't be tripping over myself to deluge them with wine, cakes and biscuits though.

Crunched · 20/02/2021 02:43

As the existing neighbour, I usually pop a card through the door just saying hi and hoping they will be happy in their new home.
I would never want to intrude by knocking or by taking a gift. I have lived here 12 years, done 4 cards (we live around a square) and each introduction seemed well received and avoided the 'meeting for the first time' when you have lived near each other after a couple of years which always seems an awkward prospect.

user1471439310 · 20/02/2021 03:00

Don't say hello, they may knock on your door and then what?

PracticingPerson · 20/02/2021 04:56

@PhilCornwall1

Are we supposed to introduce ourselves and welcome them to the neighbourhood? Or are they supposed to knock our door and introduce themselves?

Blimey, is there an etiquette to this? Have lived where we are for 19 years and so have most of the neighbours. Apart from one set, I haven't much got past "alright?" as a conversation. That in my book is familiar enough.

Have to agree, we have lovely neighbours and we discuss local issues when necessary but mostly we live in blissful ignorance of each other.
Pipperleen · 20/02/2021 06:52

We live on a little row of 4 and I knocked on the other three a few days after we moved in to say hello.
Went down like a sack of shit Grin don’t think we have spoken since!

Proudboomer · 20/02/2021 08:02

When we moved into our present house the old lady across the street bought me some daffodils and introduced herself but the others just said hi in passing.
The house before was weird as our sellers were divorcing as the fella was having an affair with the woman next door and he moved in with her and the wife moved in with a different fella further down the street. It was all a bit like an episode from Eastenders and everyone just ignored everything including us moving in.

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