Extending above ceiling price. WWYD?

[Thissucksmonkeynuts]

Name changed incase someone knows me, to save the embarrassment of the endless nonsense I post on MN.
Apologies in advance, this might ramble on!
So, Dh has recently been dx with a degenerative neurological condition. We would have needed to do something about the size of this house anyway, it's a 2 bed ex council house and dd is 7 and needs her own bedroom away from Ds who's 3.
We've had plans drawn up to extend this house. It seem that building them will cost nearly what we paid for the house, and it would never be worth what we put into it.
But, with savings and cashing in some investments we could live here mortgage free.
Larger, say 4 beds that would give us scope to make accessible space for Dh as his illness progresses and for me to continue to work from home are disproportionately expensive in this area.
We absolutely love living exactly where this house is, and can't think of another place we'd want to move to.
We probably aren't mortgage worthy anymore, but are looking into it, both now self employed, my once OK income now slashed by child rearing and Dh only able to work part time.
This house is worth about 145k, mortgage of 68k, extention roughly priced up at 110k.
WWYD? Extend and effectively loose some of the money, or move somewhere fairly local but uninspiring where that money will hopefully be an investment?
If I'm being an idiot or am failing to grasp something really simple, please be gentle, it's been a truly shitty few years getting to the point where he has a dx.

I'd extend. If you are planning on staying there long term the monetary values right now are not so relevant as over time the increase may well equal the investment, and you'll be mortgage free so there will be less stress about employment as your husband deteriorates.

Agree with the above - a mortgage free house, that meets your needs, that you want to stay in long term is worth more than just its resale value (which as @chocolatepudandchocolatesauce says, is irrelevant if you have no plans to sell it).

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's illness, that must be incredibly tough.

I'd extend too in your circumstances. Will you get planning permission though for what sounds like quite a substantial extension? And do consider the disruption that building work will inevitably cause.

Won’t be quick, but look at your local authority’s page for Disabled Facilities Grant (DFG). You may be able to get a bit of help towards the extension, for example putting in a wet room or easy level access type stuff. It’s means tested but up to £30,000 if deemed necessary.

Might help?

You've got to think about what it's worth to you now, not just the next buyer. If it's going to make your life better, and you're looking to stay there long term then it's money well spent. We only get one go at this life OP

There is a lot to be said about loving where you live, but if DH's condition is income limiting, or worse life limiting, can you afford to lose the money? Might you be better trying to move somewhere that will hold its value a bit more.

I’m sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.

As a previous poster mentioned, you might be able to get help financially, in which case staying and extending will be a good idea.
Otherwise, for me, if it was somewhere I could see myself in the next 10 years, I’d extend, instead of moving.

Wishing you the best with whatever you decide

I'm sorry to hear of your husband's illness.

We're planning to extend above the ceiling price of our house. Once extended, we have no plans to move again so don't particularly care about the market value. And there will still be equity in the house, the extension just won't add as much as it costs.

If you love where you live and the house will work for your family long-term, including your husband's likely needs, then I say go ahead.

Take off stamp duty, moving costs etc from your sums and it might feel less scary. New house will need furnishing etc.

I am sorry to hear about your predicament.

Would it make you feel better to know that we are also extending above our ceiling, It is the first house we bought together and everything about the area suits us in fact we are born here. I don't care what it's worth to the next person in monetary values I just care that we have a good value of living where we are here, and we working at home we need an extra bedroom so that's what we are doing.

Good luck it will improve your life vastly

I’d agree about extending. Loving where you live is really important, buying a new house always comes with challenges and you can end up with not nice neighbours or things about the area you might not know about, which can make living somewhere new difficult.
At least you already know these things in your current home, however don’t underestimate taking on a large extension, be prepared for over runs and extra costs and living in chaos whilst it’s happening. Will you move out during the work? It’s a massive disruption living amongst it.

Thanks all for your lovely replies.
Yes, it's a pretty big extension, but mirrors the neighbour's which was done about 15 years ago, encompasses part of an existing extension and won't cause party wall issues with our attached neighbours. The architect says it should be fine, or maybe they all say that?!
I suspect the builder who quoted is quite a pricy one, but has a reputation for running a very tight ship. He's offering the option of a phased build where we can stay, or one where we would move out. Dh tires easily and can find busy life overwhelming, so moving out would probably be preferable.
We are almost certainly above the threshold for funding, although we are going to pick the brains of the specialist OH nurse that Dh has an appointment with. It's hard to know how future proof to make everything.
I'm certainly not underestimating how much a new house could need doing to it, plus the fact that the right house might not come on the market leaving me with increasingly stroppy daughter desperate for her own space!